View Full Version : Dead in Shayol Ghul - Pilot Transcript

04-27-2009, 06:03 PM
Brought to you this week by Spidy – Chief Investigative Reporter
(until we can work out where our Entertainment Reporter has got to, as in the future Uno and Spidy will be watching the show from the Royale Box where we have set up golden fringed and tasseled banana lounges with a more than ample supply of cigars and eskies full of XXXX)

Here is the initial run-down of the show, the Hand of the Dark is being a bit tardy with approvinng the release of material, something about chasing up a recalcitrant Moghedien who hasn’t done something she was supposed to and has been taking up the Hand’s time.

To thunderous applause by a host of Trollocs, the audience, made up of a various groups of other Shadowspawn, (Myddraal, Draghkar, Graymen), along with a smattering of Darkfriends of no great importance, chief audience warmerupper Narg warmed up with audience with jokes, acrobatics, poetry readings and other inane entertainment (he wasn’t too bad but I think we might need to send him to Theoryland to get some training from the resident TL greeter, can’t hurt, Ed).

Then out of nowhere came a booming voice, (sounded to me suspiciously like High Lord Weiramon when he does his general intoning, Ed), “LET US TAKE PART. LET THE CHOSEN ONE DO WHAT HE WILL!” and with that emphatic intro, Ferid Hel strode out from behind the curtain to at first a totally stunned and mute crowd. It seemed the voiceover had stunned them into bewilderment, but after standing there for five minutes or so looking helpless like a rabbit in the spotlight, the crowd finally woke up from their stupor and degenerated into rapturous applause, mainly because they are Shadowspawn and wouldn't know good entertainment even if a cookpot hit them in the head.

Ferid was dressed in a swath of fancloth so only a disembodied head floated across the stage whist he was waiting for the crowd to wake up (yours truly and the Editor by the way were not affected by the booming voiceover as we had Jak ’O’ the Shadows going full bore on our GhulPods in the Royale Box so we didn’t even hear that the show had started and it was only when Uno looked up and saw the disembodied head and pointed that I stopped reaching for my XXXX and glanced down to see what was going on.)

Ferid gestured (or should I say his head gestured cause you couldn’t see anything else) over to the side of the stage, made some sort of grunting sound of some description, and lo and behold, behind another raised curtain was a band, led by none other than Slinky the Myddraal, a seven piece Rock outfit. Ferid introduced the band and since this was the first show, the band hadn’t come up with a name yet. I understand that perhaps something will be thought of in a show or two. In all, the band members were as follows:

Band Leader, Vocals, Keyboards – “Stinky” Slinky the Myddraal
Lead Guitar – Gus “Rholam” Gholam (on loan from Gerry and the Gholams I'm told whist they are on Statis-Box Goodwill tour of Shara which Gus absolutely hates so he stayed in Thakandar)
Bass – “Big Bad” RockDude – (a Shadow-Forger of some repute I am advised, hadn’t come across him before in my travels, always seeing something new in the Pit O Doom)
Horns – "High King" Artur Batwing – (I think he is some distant DF relation of the head cheese of long ago- Artur Hawking - but this is yet to be confirmed)
Saxophone – Max “The Sax” Hamdraspambone (a Malkieri DF)
Drums – Lenny “SpotDog” Caninelier (a big brutish DarkHound who slobbered all over the cymbals causing them to melt, luckily we had Narg running new ones in to replace them)
Percussion – Maven “The Raven” Splaven (formerly of the Seachchan Ravens I think)

The band rocked on with some really funky digs for a couple of minutes or so when suddenly Ferid took off the fancloth and handed it to Dragon Theif who had glided down onto the stage from seemingly nowhere (well actually the Exec Producers box as DT had taken it upon himself to be DiSG’s Executive Producer and as Uno and I (i.e. Spidy) already have enough to do with the Gazette, we obliged DT to have his little power trip, (um should I say promotion as well as Ferid’s). By the way, Theif looked mightily pee’d off, I think Ferid may have borrowed the fancloth from DT’s own private collection at SGG headquarters, whcih DT has borrowed from Watcher's private collection at the Thoeryland Bar. What was Ferid wearing under the fan cloth? The most garish Tinker clothes you could think of, colors going everywhere, in fact all eight of my eyes have been sprained so I can’t exactly remember what the colors were, or maybe it was the XXXX that I had been drinking that’s done that (yeah, I reckon it was the XXXX, Ed.)

Anyways, DT glided back off the stage again and back up to the producer’s box and Ferid started on his monologue. What was it and how did it go? Well in the best SG Gazette tradition, the monologue was in Snippet form. Uno and I spat beer out of our months at the same time as we were trying to inhale on our cigars. We had no idea snippets were going to be included, what a surprise. Here are the snippets in detail (oh the nostalgia, Ed):

• Team Charleston laughing all the way home from JordanCon all due to some remark about cucumbers
• Last book of WoT going to be split into three books and renamed TriMemory of TriLight
• Mesaana hires stripper for 2000th Collam Daan reunion party but only the stripper and Mesaana turned up
• Semirhage opens FaceBook account, complains no-one wants to be her friend, waiting for anyone to invite themselves for private sadism
• Various Asha’Man seen tasering WhiteCloaks in Chachin Seven-Eleven, when asked why, were quoted “They wanted to walk in the Light, we’re bring the light to them, MUUUHHAHAHAHAHA”

And with that final MUUUHHAHAHAHAHA, Ferid spun around and in his best Cat Crossing the Courtyard form (which actually is not very good at all, more like a drunken skunk attempting to walk across a clothesline, Ed) flopped over and sat on his desk and picked up a cue card. I think even Ferid didn’t know who the guests for the show were going to be. After reading the cue card, Ferid’s eyes nearly popped out of his head and with a stammering voice began to impart the name of the first guest of DiSG, and it was . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sorry folks, that’s as much as SH has released so far. Else Grinwell has taken a bunch of snaps but SH has embargoed those as well at this stage. Uno is going to have a chat with SH sometime tonight so hopefully we can weasel out some more info from the big-Halfman, as I know the Gazette faithful are just hanging out for more news.
Stay tuned un-peace-lovers, more on SGG TV when we can bring it to you.

Spidy :eek:

04-28-2009, 10:06 AM
A free subscription to the SG Gazette for life, or at least up to the Last Battle, will be bestowed (upon the Editor's approval of course, the tightwad) for the person who can identify Dead in Shayol Ghul's (DiSG) first mystery guest.

(Shaidar Haran, Hand of the Dark has the approved these pics for release, damn cost me one of my best pipes too, Ed.)

Host is on the left banana lounge, mystery guest is on the right lounge.

12 13

Here is a snap of the Editor and the Chief Reporter living it up in the Royale Box. If you look really closely you may just spy the eskies of XXXX and the boxes of cigars, very hard to spot though.

More piccies after MS whips round to SH's place to kick some more snaps out of him. I think she has borrowed Frenzy's boots again, the same one's she wore when visiting the Newbie Academy.


Spidy :eek: :eek:

04-28-2009, 11:52 AM
I still can't view attachments... Could some other elders of younglings comment on this?

04-28-2009, 12:57 PM
I still can't view attachments... Could some other elders of younglings comment on this?I have managed to reproduce your problem, Sare, though it is of course possible there is another cause for you.

Anyway, near the top of the screen there is a "User CP" thingie. If you click that (easiest is right click and open in a separate tab, so that you can read this too), then you get your settings and such. On the left, you select "Edit Options". This gives you a list of options of stunning uselessness. Go to the "Thread Display Options", and select there the "Show Images" tick box. Then go to the bottom, and click "Save Changes".

04-29-2009, 10:32 PM
Someone has to have a stab at who the mystery guest is.

:eek: :eek: :eek: