So I no longer have Grandparents

[ShadowbaneX]

The last one passed away tonight after years long battle with dimentia.

So I raise a glass of whiskey to the memory of Claude Francis Murray, age 91. The man who took the training wheels of my bike, who taught me about baseball, and so many other countless things.

I'll miss him greatly.

[Terez]

*hugs*

My last grandpa is in the hospital now battling terminal cancer, and my mom doesn't think he's going to last long. :(

*raises glass*

[Gandelail]

My last grandfather passed away about a month ago... cancer.

*hugs all 'round*

raises glass with the rest of you.:(

[Dragon Thief]

SBX, I'm hear if you need an e-hug. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my first grandparent at age 12, and the last one by the time I was 25, so I've been there, and been there, and been there.

Talk about him, reminisce about the good times with those who knew him, ask stories about him that you didn't already know. It won't make the sadness go away, but it will relieve the tension that builds up anyways.

[Anaiya Sedai]

*raises glas*

[ShadowbaneX]

I've been doing all of that DT. Fortunately, I've got alot of family in town, actually most of my family was in town and tonight my mom, dad, sister (and future brother-in-law), brother, aunt, and cousin (and his fiancee) were all there, so there was alot of family.

We were given a call sunday night and there was someone there with him the entire time up until tonight, when all was said and done. Alot of stories, alot of memories. We kinda had some warning so this wasn't the shock that my grandmother's death was a few years back. There were tears, but then, there always is at these things.

I lost my first grandparent back in dec 23rd '97, then another at april 17th, '98. My grandmother went at nov 30th '04, and now my last grandfather today. They suck, they're sad, but with lots of family around, well, it helps a little...it just helps to share a little.

[Yuri33]

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my last grandparent when I was 18.

Stories, that's the best thing about grandparents, they have so many wonderful stories. I hope you heard a ton of them in the time you had together.

[Brita]

~~Raises a glass~~

A child needs a grandparent, anybody's grandparent, to grow a little more securely into an unfamiliar world. To grandparents.

[irerancincpkc]

I'm sorry for your loss. Grandparents are great people, and at least you have all those great memories.

[Mort]

Sorry for your loss.

I never really got to know my grandparents except my grandmother (on fathers side), the rest died when I were either too young to remember them at all or only having a few fleeting memories.

Btw, it's always bugged me that you don't differentiate between grandparents on mother and father's side in english :) It's so my easier to know who you are talking about.

</offtopic>

[caladanbrood]

Comiserations. My parents were both the youngest in their families, and I lost all my grandparents while still quite young. Diminishes the impact somewhat, but it's a horrible feeling :(

[Davian93]

Sorry to hear bro.

~raises glass~

Sláinte!

[tanaww]

~Raises a glass~

You have my sympathy, SBX.

[cathar]

I've only lost one grandparent, I guess i'm lucky. I also have a Great Grandmother who is no 103.

[Terez]

I was lucky enough to grow up with all four great grandmothers. The first died when I was 12, and the last about 10 years later.

[Crispin's Crispian]

I'm sorry to hear about this, SBX. I was fortunate enough to have really great grandparents for the first 14 years of my life. Unfortunately, I was also too young to realize that I should have spent more time with them.

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts, and wish Mr. Murray a great journey. :)

[Tamyrlin]

My grandmother is our my last; I should spend more time with her before she passes.

[Uno]

I am very sorry to hear of your loss.

[Gilshalos Sedai]

Sometimes, the rifts are not the grandkids' fault. My mother's parents died long before I was born. My paternal grandparents hated my mother, or at least my grandmother did which equates to the same thing, so I never really got to know them.

Also, I wasn't born a boy. Which was apparently a great disappointment to them, or at least to her. Which, again, is the same thing, since my grandfather always followed her lead.

They both died while I was in my teens.

Fortunately, Bryan has wonderful grandparents and it hurt when we lost his grandfather in December. All we can do is live so that we'll do them credit. A toast to those who have gone before, SBX. ~raises glass~

[Zaela Sedai]

Its been almost two years and I still miss my grandpa.

[pops taer]

SBX, my Canadian friend, I extend to you, with great sympathy, my condolences on the loss of your Grandfather.

[John Snow]

I'm not yet a grandparent, maybe never will be....but I do enjoy being an uncle, and I remember enjoying my uncles, and aunts, greatly. If you all have those sorts of people still around, I hope they can provide the sorts of things you were talking about with your grandparents.

My mother-in-law was someone whom I enjoyed a lot, and our kids did as well - but she liked history, enjoyed telling stories about things she'd seen.....some of them quite terrible, as you might imagine. I think there was some catharsis to talking about some of it.

My wife is now the oldest woman in her generation on her mother's side except for an aunt by marriage - so I'm married to the clan matriarch (and I'm only 62! *sob*). Her aunt is also an interesting old woman who's seen a lot, but is now at the end of her days. We expect to be going back for the funeral sometime fairly soon. When we visited with the kids in 1994 or so, she took them out to the nearby market and bought them both nice sneakers. She always liked to buy shoes for kids; she bought my wife her first pair of leather shoes. So our daughter comes back home to the 4th grade, shows off her new sneakers and a picture of the family with her great aunt, and says - "My great-aunt bought me these new sneakers, and she's a princess!" Of course the kids looked at the picture of the frumpy old woman in an ordinary house dress, and snorted - that's not what princesses look like! So our daughter just let that go, but it was a fun and worthwhile experience. The old gal is not related to my wife's Min clan, by the way, but is a niece of Queen Yun (look her up on wikipedia).

[Figbiscuit]

*raises a glass*

Having recently suffered a bereavement myself I can understand some of what you must be feeling.

Reassure yourself with the thought that 91 is a good innings and your grandfather has moved on to a place of peace.

[Ivhon]

Sorry for your loss, man.

My biggest regret was that my grandparents passed before I could get to know them really. First grandmother when I was 10, her husband (Pops) slowly died of a broken heart 3 years later - just lost the will to live in a sadly romantic way. He spoke 5 languages, played 7 instruments, had an MD and a PhD, flew planes, sculpted, painted, wrote, scuba dived, hanglid (?) and was always there to greet the grandkids with a cheery "HO HO HO!" and a Heath bar whenever we came by.

My last grandmother passed just after I got engaged. I was able to give her the good news and I like to think she understood it through the stroke. She survived both of her sons (my father and uncle) at the age of 96.

[ShadowbaneX]

thank you for reminding me of something Tam.

Yes, spend time with your grandparents. As some of you know I've got a history degree and alot of my studies are in 20th century history. Unfortunately this interest came too late to really discuss it with my grandparents. I'd already lost my parernal grandparents before I was in univserity and my maternal grandparents were already in decline when I got there, so I couldn't talk to them about it.

I did, at the behest of my parents talk with my grandfather up at the cottage in the summer of 97 before he passed away, but alot of it was just his stories as I didn't know the right questions to ask. Some of them were funny, but to a 17 year old, they were just stories and I didn't pay attention to them like I should have. Now, over 10 years later, I finally know the questions I'd have liked to have asked, but it's far too late.

So, yeah, I knew my grandparents, but only as my grandparents and with the occasional story or tidbit about them. I didn't really know the people my grandparents were. I knew a brief biography some of the stuff they'd done, but I find that I missed a great deal of the details, that I now, know to ask about, but didn't know when they were still around.

So for those of you that still have their grandparents do something for me and do yourselves a favour in the process: the next time you see them, just ask them questions. It can be about anything. What was life like in the whatever decade. What was it like during the war, and don't just ask those that went to the war. Those that stayed behind could have tales just as interesting to tell as those that went to Europe or the Pacific. There's so much to know there, and when they're gone, it's too late.

Both of my grandparents weren't in the war and I wish like crazy that I could ask them what their experiences were like. Ask them about anything, as even the most mundane of topics can still end up being highly relevant later on down the line.

Thank you all for your best wishes. We're doing well here, as it was rough on my grandfather the past few years and we all truely believe that it's better now that he's passed. There are still a few teary moments, but we're dealing with them.

[Terez]

Some of the best stories I ever heard were from my Aunt Melo (short for Amelia). She was born in 1894, and she died in 2001, a year after her sister, who was my great-grandmother, and 11 years younger than Melo. She was the last of 13 children, and one of the oldest of the brood. :D She was an adult with children during the Great Depression, and older than I am now during WWII...she had a lot to say about all that. :)

[Cary Sedai]

~hugs~

[Ishara]

So sorry for you loss SBX.

I'm not particularly close to my grandparents, but that has always been their decision, not ours. Still, it's always heard to lose someone who saw you grow up and loved you.