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JSUCamel
06-22-2009, 11:11 AM
I dunno how many of you go to Craigslist and read the missed connections in your area, but I tend to follow them in my area obsessively. They're absolutely hysterical.

If you don't know what Missed Connections are, they're kind of what you might think. They're ads that you can place if you saw someone and want to reconnect later, or maybe you were talking to someone and forgot to get their number. Or maybe you're just a giant pussy and are too chicken to ask out that girl at work, so you'll go through Missed Conncetions.

Most often, the ones that I think have the most chance at succeeding, are the ones when someone met someone on the plane, train or automobile (Sorry, just had to) and they had a nice conversation and later wanted to get back in touch.

Most are just hysterical.

For instance, today I saw one titled: "cute asian boy in chinatown."

...Gee, that narrows things down.

Any funny ones in your area?

I'm well aware of the "Best of Craigslist" section, but I'm more interested in the bona fides, the ones that are regular people writing to regular people, that are funny maybe in an ironic way or where it's obvious that the author didn't intend to be funny, but it wound up being funny anyway.

Crispin's Crispian
06-22-2009, 12:56 PM
The first one I looked at was pretty good. 70 months? Exactly?!
I am looking for someone very specific! If you were in Prison in for 70 months and have the initials C.G I really want to talk to you. Its been a very long time and I really miss you. Last time you saw me I was 18 and I am now 31. Please respond if you see this or if anyone knows who I am looking for.


Hey Jackass,

I'm sorry you didn't stay long enough for me to pound your face into the cement and get your plate number. I just want to let you know I know your car is blue, and you should have some major damage to the front drivers side and some of my pretty green paint.

If anyone has any information I would be extreamly greatful. Happened on the 28th of May, close to midnight. I really don't want this guy to get off easy, cuz THANKS TO HIM, I'm assuming its a him, I'm screwed w/o a car.


This one's just odd:

I refference some nice solid Concrete Blonde lyrics in my post and you got to go and pull from the reppertoire of Jewel? It wasn't meant to be. Peace, baby. I know you're sensative. I dig that about you. In fact when I kinda like it when you say you don't like me. You are sorta hot when you're mad. It's rare. I like it. Say it again, baby. Tell me i'm a jerk and you don't like me. God DAMN, I wish we could just get it on. You make me so fuckin' hot. You should get real mad and come over here. with some rope.


I just genuinely like this one:

This is embarrassing but....

I was lost in Downtown Portland about 3:30AM on Sunday morning... and you helped me get home... You said you were from Washington but you had me follow you way out of your way... You were so sweet and patient... I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to give you a proper thank you... I sincerely hope this message reaches you... I'd really like to take you to dinner or something...

Thank Goodness there are still good people in this world!!

JSUCamel
06-22-2009, 01:07 PM
Nice!

I found this one:


can't keep my eyes off of you. don't want to! are you thinking what I am? :)


...yeah, because if you described a woman as "fat woman at Chicago-Kent" she's totally going to respond and want to jump your bones.

Crispin's Crispian
06-24-2009, 01:24 PM
I saw this one today, Camel.



I saw you big ma, with those 7 kids. You aint neva lost that baby weight but s$%^ woman if you eva needed any one to work ya nice, you should hit me up. I watched you in the frozen section, trying to manage that fat daughter of yours while you filled the cart up with fish sticks, it was almost toppling over with Capri Suns and Coca-Cola to begin with. It was entertaining to watch. We exchanged smiles and I almost spanked that big booty. Hit me up.

DeiwosTheSkyGod
06-24-2009, 01:46 PM
Magical Moustache Man - w4m (Harvard Sq )

You were in Harvard Sq one week ago sporting a white, slim-fitting seersucker suit and a splendiferous handlebar moustache. Your impeccable fashion sense made a lasting impression.

Most of them are just begging for sex, though.

Ishara
06-24-2009, 03:29 PM
LOL. The 'Best Of' section is my all-time favourite. My sister and I send them back and forth to each other all week.

JSUCamel
06-25-2009, 02:51 PM
It's not a Missed Connection, but...



WTT: Ken Rockwell-Obsessed Husband (North York)
Reply to: sale-hpcn7-1239135682@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-06-25, 12:36PM EDT


One gently-used caucasian male. 36 years-old. Slightly defective. Remembers the names of Ken Rockwell's kids but not our own. Constantly buying high-end photo gear then selling it on craigslist the second Canon or Nikon releases something new. Complains endlessly about lowballers, tire-kickers and pixel peepers. Sold car to buy a Leica body and now wants to mortage house to buy lenses, all at Ken Rockwell's insistence. Maybe you can reprogram him. I have no time because I have to cart our kids around on the TTC and work two jobs while while he fiddles with film and DSLR to achieve super-saturated highlights.

Reasonable offers accepted: Food, clothing, 1992 Subaru Justy. Offers of photo equipment will promptly be deleted! Lowball kickers are welcome! A swift one in the nuts will do him some good.

* Location: North York
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests