PDA

View Full Version : Assault with a deadly snack?


Frenzy
06-26-2009, 09:57 PM
Is Shelbyville anywhere near you, Sei'taer?
Tenn. couple accused of assault using Cheetos (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090626/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_cheetos_assault)

SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. Authorities said a couple got into a fight using Cheetos. The Bedford County Sheriff's Department said a 40-year-old man and 44-year-old woman became involved in a 'verbal altercation.' Somehow, the orange puffy snacks were used in the assault.

Deputies said they were charged with domestic assault. No one was hurt.

According to the Shelbyville Times-Gazette, both posted bond of $2,500.
:lol:

Sei'taer
06-26-2009, 10:43 PM
Naw...that south of Nashville close to the Alabama border where the real Redneckersons live. That's over there close to where the klan was started...I think. Anyway, they talk funny over there.

Anaiya Sedai
06-27-2009, 05:46 AM
Did this happen at their home? How on earth did the police even get involved then?

Or were they acting very maturely, having a food fight in public? :D

GonzoTheGreat
06-27-2009, 06:16 AM
All right, it is weird. The Shelbyville Times-Gazette (http://www.t-g.com/) has a link to this story, as one might expect. That link (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_ODD_CHEETOS_ASSAULT?SITE=MOCAP&SECTION=AMERICAS&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT) leads to the site of another newspaper (the South East Missourian), which provides the same text quoted in the OP, referring back to the Shelbyville Times-Gazette as the source.

Searching on the Shelbyville Times-Gazette site with "cheetos assault" did not produce any results at all. But using only "cheetos" did come up this (http://www.t-g.com/story/1549895.html):
Warrants filed by Cpl. Kevin Roddy, of the Bedford County Sheriff's Department, stated he responded to a call at a home on Pass Road, where 40-year-old James Earl Taylor and Mary S. Childers, 44, were allegedly involved in an argument.

According to Roddy's report, the pair became "involved in a verbal altercation" with each other "at which time Cheetos potato chips were used in the assault."

"There was evidence of the assault," the report read, "however no physical marks on either party and the primary aggressor was unable to be determined."
I really liked this comment:
If you arrest someone for throwing cheetos at each other, you might be a redneck.
The following comment was also nice:
OMG! I just found Cheetos in my sons room. What should I do? I wonder if it is gang related? Is this a felony in California? I am in a panic... Can someone help me? Do you know of any Cheetos annonomous programs in my area? I just don't know what to do. Should I check for Cheeto residue on his hands? OH NO, OMG I think I gave him the money he used to purchase them, am I looking at jail time? HELP!

Crispin's Crispian
06-29-2009, 10:48 AM
Cheetos don't kill people, people kill people. With cheetos.

StrangePackage
06-29-2009, 03:06 PM
Eh, I got that beat. I once had a case come in front of me where the woman was alleging assault on a female because the man threw a wet sponge at her.

A wet sponge.

A WET SPONGE.

To quote the officer who arrived on the scene: "I examined the victim in the area she said that the sponge had hit her, and she was in fact moist."

I swear I am not making this up.

Your move, Tenn.

Crispin's Crispian
06-29-2009, 03:41 PM
What kind of sponge? Like...sea sponge or Seinfeld sponge?

It makes a difference.

Ivhon
06-29-2009, 05:13 PM
See? I moved away from TN AND NC to get away from just this kind of silliness.

Probably shoulda checked where the dart hit the map more closely, tho...

Zaela Sedai
06-29-2009, 08:33 PM
Sini how COULD you!!!


Oh wait... you wouldnt waste cheezy poofs in this manner would you...

hippie-joe
06-29-2009, 10:10 PM
lol but cheetos are soooo good hw could anyone waste them like that? were they the poffs or the curds?

mmmm, cheetos curds

i've seen a guy get a bloody nose when a dinner roll was thrown at him, right in the nose. it was soft and fresh too. the law wasn't involved, so no assualt charges. but that didn't stop his nose from running red... hahaha

Strongman
06-30-2009, 09:25 AM
Naw...that south of Nashville close to the Alabama border where the real Redneckersons live. That's over there close to where the klan was started...I think. Anyway, they talk funny over there.


Now why do you have to go bringing Alabama into this? :D

edit: Speakng of rednecks.....does owning this make me one??

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w128/Strongman36/80%20toyota%204x4/yotaright.jpg

Ivhon
06-30-2009, 11:09 AM
Now why do you have to go bringing Alabama into this? :D

edit: Speakng of rednecks.....does owning this make me one??

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w128/Strongman36/80%20toyota%204x4/yotaright.jpg

LOL the outhouse behind the truck is more of a giveaway.

Crispin's Crispian
06-30-2009, 11:26 AM
LOL the outhouse behind the truck is more of a giveaway.
That, or parking the truck on the lawn.

Sei'taer
06-30-2009, 11:35 AM
Now why do you have to go bringing Alabama into this? :D

edit: Speakng of rednecks.....does owning this make me one??

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w128/Strongman36/80%20toyota%204x4/yotaright.jpg


Naw, I used to have one, except it was red and didn't have the rollbar. I see that inside the bed on that one at least is red. Mine was an '81 with a straight axle front end.

GonzoTheGreat
06-30-2009, 11:40 AM
edit: Speakng of rednecks.....does owning this make me one??Owning it, perhaps not. Parking it on the grass (as already mentioned) with the bonnet open ...

Sei'taer
06-30-2009, 11:58 AM
Owning it, perhaps not. Parking it on the grass (as already mentioned) with the bonnet open ...

Amish women wear bonnets, thats called a hood.

Strongman
06-30-2009, 01:42 PM
No outhouse - on the drivers side of the truck is my shed, and calling it a shed is probably a redneck term, and behind it is a halfpipe, yep I'm cool like that - built that damn thing a few years ago and the kids never used it (and not because I made it 6'-0" instead of 3'-0"....lol)

Owning it, perhaps not. Parking it on the grass (as already mentioned) with the bonnet open ...

LOL I have no choice but to park on the grass....

BTW Sei it's a 1980 straight axle, 31/12.50 super swamper boggers

Zanguini
06-30-2009, 04:14 PM
http://www.raypfob.com/Images/Redneck%20Deer%20Stand.jpg

All too easy (http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.raypfob.com/Images/Redneck%2520Deer%2520Stand.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.raypfob.com/redneck.htm&usg=__5c5PxzDg2ra4y4qq7_7LP4T3eFU=&h=492&w=328&sz=18&hl=en&start=20&tbnid=jMN_plkvS9PgmM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=87&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dredneck%2Bpictures%26gbv%3D2%26hl%3De n%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DG)