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View Full Version : A New Record (For Your Consideration)


Firseal
09-12-2009, 11:53 PM
So. My job, to put it mildly, stinks. But a few days ago, I got a new record. Its about bleeding.

So, in my tenure at the place I work (hereafter known as R), I have been cut or injured by many strange things. I have been cut by balls, by blankets. I had to pry a splinter nearly half an inch long from a old wood toy out of my hand once. A pillow once made me bleed. I will bear the scar from a sofa to my dying day (its a small scar, but still. A sofa.) A coffee mug gave me a cut that took eleven stitches to close. Other minor injuries include doors and one very irritable chair.

I can take these. They don't bother me. Most have reasons behind them. The ball had glassed embedded. The pillow, needles. The sofa did its work on me with a staple, and the full weight of its steel reinforced sleeper frame behind that staple digging in. The blanket...

Well, okay. No one knows how the damn blanket cut me. But that one is weird enough that it isn't pathetic, its more a file for the bizzare.

But now I am humbled. A few days ago, I was cut by a Hello Kitty Pez Dispenser.

It wasn't broken. No part of it was sharp. There weren't even dangerous corners.

How the hell does one live down being injured by a Hello Kitty Pez Dispenser? I mean, its got a big cute rounded plastic cat head for chrissake.

This is the rock bottom of injuries. This makes paper cuts look noble.

Well then. Discuss. Or, if you dare, try to top being injured by a light, bright pink-and-white dull Hello Kitty Pez Dispenser. Really, oh fellow Theorylandians. Try to surpass that.

Birgitte
09-12-2009, 11:57 PM
You have my vote for the record. I think it needs a clever name, however. I'm too sleepy to think of one, however. Ask me tomorrow.

Frenzy
09-13-2009, 12:26 AM
http://www.kittyhell.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/hello-kitty-hellish-kitty.jpg

Brita
09-13-2009, 09:20 AM
Haha- good one Frenzy!

Ya- Firseal- you have my vote. What on earth do you do at your job?

Hopper
09-13-2009, 01:34 PM
Haha- good one Frenzy!

Ya- Firseal- you have my vote. What on earth do you do at your job?


My guess is that he's a product test dummy.

"Hey 'seal, we need to test these glass embedded tennis balls to see if they're safe for children."

Now, all because of 'seal, children won't get to play with these new Hello Kitty Pez dispensers.

Firseal
09-13-2009, 06:41 PM
Haha- good one Frenzy!

Ya- Firseal- you have my vote. What on earth do you do at your job?

I work at a charity run store - hence the remark a few threads down about working with criminals. They are all part of the perks!

'Least I only got a weapon pulled on me once. It was slightly distressing that it was a twelve year old that did it.

Frenzy
09-13-2009, 10:26 PM
'Least I only got a weapon pulled on me once. It was slightly distressing that it was a twelve year old that did it.
i take it the kid wasn't brandishing a pez dispenser

Birgitte
09-13-2009, 10:32 PM
Nah... It was the blanket, I bet.

Firseal
09-13-2009, 10:47 PM
Combat knife. What are those things called? You know, you usually see them straped to soldiers on the thigh or whatever. Not the big ones.

But no. He didn't pull the blanket on me. That wouldn't have been productive even in his little mind.

Birgitte
09-13-2009, 11:09 PM
But you would never see it coming.

Gilshalos Sedai
09-14-2009, 08:52 AM
It could be worse. There could be bunnies.

Sei'taer
09-14-2009, 08:54 AM
I got stitches in 8th grade after I got hit in the melon with a nickel...


Naw, not even close to hello kitty...