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View Full Version : Never give women the finger


JSUCamel
06-08-2008, 06:05 PM
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

'Man, that guy is stupid,' I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are
her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger?

I don't think so!!!

caladanbrood
06-08-2008, 07:57 PM
On the other hand, if it's a one-in-eighteen thousand chance, I figure you're likely to be ok.

Rune420
06-08-2008, 08:32 PM
lol, funny stuff.

But, I think Sei posted this same thing pretty much, like only a week or 2 ago.

Brita
06-08-2008, 08:41 PM
Yep- someone did. And then there was all sorts of debate and corrected calculations etc.

That was even funnier actually.

Sinistrum
06-08-2008, 08:49 PM
This thread turned out to be about something completely different than what I expected it to be. :p

Terez
06-08-2008, 09:39 PM
See? I'm not the only perv here...

Gilshalos Sedai
06-09-2008, 07:47 AM
I think it's well established, Terez, that Sinistrum is a worse perv than even you.


You're not running for public boobage licensor.

Sarevok
06-09-2008, 07:50 AM
Hmmm... I'm sure I've seen that post at least two times on this forum, Camel :)

Crispin's Crispian
06-09-2008, 10:29 AM
Unlike Sinistrum, I guessed what the thread would be about...I just hoped it would be about something else.

And then I'd have to ask..."Never?"

Brita
06-09-2008, 11:10 AM
You're not running for public boobage licensor.

He took it out of his signature :(

Gilshalos Sedai
06-09-2008, 11:27 AM
No, I'd bet he just hasn't updated it for vBulletin.

Davian93
06-09-2008, 02:25 PM
Deja vu anyone?

Brita
06-09-2008, 02:26 PM
Deja vu anyone?

Yes, although this thread took a much more scandalous direction, thanks to the title and Sini's dirty mind :)

Terez
06-09-2008, 02:30 PM
You're not running for public boobage licensor. No, but I did sabatoge the hawt girls thread at Malazan with tons of pics of hot gay dudes sucking face. :D

Gilshalos Sedai
06-09-2008, 02:34 PM
Nice! Bet they all ran away to gag in a corner!

Terez
06-09-2008, 02:35 PM
It did separate the boys from the men quite nicely. :D

Sinistrum
06-09-2008, 02:36 PM
Just for you Brita ;)

Gilshalos Sedai
06-09-2008, 02:51 PM
invinsible


INVINCIBLE



Fix your sig, dude.

Brita
06-09-2008, 02:56 PM
hehe- thanks Sini- I smile every time I see that, remembering the conversation that inspired it.

I miss the giddy clapping emoticon though- that just finished it off so appropriately.

Terez
06-09-2008, 03:08 PM
INVINCIBLE
I noticed that a while back, and was wondering whether he meant invincible or invisible. :)

Gilshalos Sedai
06-09-2008, 03:10 PM
When has Sinistrum ever wanted to be invisible except when infiltrating women's locker rooms?

Terez
06-09-2008, 03:11 PM
I figured he was the broken enemy...

Hopper
06-09-2008, 03:21 PM
Upon a review of the Executive Branch, I've discovered that the Bureau Of Boobage Licensing is a department under the Office of Vice President. As such, I hereby appoint Sinistrum to the post of Boobage Director. He's now in charge of licensing as well as compliance inspections.

Brita
06-09-2008, 03:41 PM
as well as compliance inspections.

LOL!! Better than he even hoped for :)

Crispin's Crispian
06-09-2008, 06:01 PM
So what's the fine if someone is out of code?

Sinistrum
06-10-2008, 02:55 PM
Wearing a burka for the rest of their lives. If you haven't been able to tell, I've already sanctioned half of the Middle East. :p