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Spidy
06-16-2008, 03:17 AM
Dear Editor-in-Chief Uno,

I would like to bring to your attention the very unfair state of employment at the Gazette. I have a been a Roving Guest Reporter for over eight years now, working diligently on all sorts of obscure projects that you have allocated to me from time to time. I have researched and written articles for which both you and Spidy have taken credit and what happens whilst I am up covering the so-called “Spelling Bee”, a young snip of a lass comes in and gets front page coverage for her first article.

This is most unfair and I asked Spidy for his opinion but he just laughed, had a sip of beer and said to take it up with you, it is none of his business. It is past time that I got a promotion. Well, what do you have to say about that?

Ferid Hel - unhappy and angry roving guest reporter

Terez
06-16-2008, 03:33 AM
Dear Editor-in-Chief Uno,

I just wanted to thank you for the MARVELOUS time I've been having in the Two Rivers! The Winespring Inn is just magnificent, top notch, and the people here are so charming, it's just to DIE for. There was a good harvest this year, so I got a fabulous price on a year's worth of local cigars for you, and I just can't wait to play with them! Oh, and the money you sent with me was just plenty for the Inn and food and cigars, etc...but could you send just a bit more? There's a Taraboner seamstress down in Deven Ride and her dresses are just so cunningly SCANDALOUS...I just KNOW you'll love them. Though I would appreciate it if you found some reason to keep Spidy up in Thakan'dar, because I'd just HATE for you to have to break his kneecaps.

ta ta

Elsie Grindwell, faithful intern

PS - Bran al'Vere should be on his way to you with some remuneration for whateveritis that you've got going with him. He thinks some of the locals were on to him, so he'll be hiding out at headquarters for a little while.

Uno
06-16-2008, 03:56 AM
It is time for the Gazette to extent a hearty handshake to one of the most valued members of our team, Roving Guest Reporter Herid Fel, who for the last several years has proven his dedication to investigative journalism, as well as his loyalty to our publication. In the latter case, we especially appreciate his discretion in the instance of the missing cash box and various incidents that may or may not have taken place at last year's Bel Tine party.

In recognition of Herid Fel's outstanding contributions, the Editor-in-Chief, after careful consultations with the Chief Reporter, who, on his part, would like to thank Mr. Fel for all the excellent beer he has bought him over the years, has decided to promote Herid Fel to Senior Roving Guest Reporter. As a further token of our appreciation, Senior Roving Guest Reporter Fel's salary will remain the same as before.

Terez
06-16-2008, 04:14 AM
Dear Editor-in-Chief Uno,

Thanks so much for the speedy delivery of the funds! I'll be bringing back a whole new wardrobe!

ta ta

Elsie Grindwell, faithful intern

Uno
06-16-2008, 04:26 AM
Sheep pest at the editor's office. Following the arrival of Bran al'Vere from the Two Rivers, a serious outbreak of sheep pest has taken place at the main office of the Shayol Ghul Gazette. Unbeknownst to the editorial staff, Al'Vere brought several woolly traveling companions, which, as we understand it, is the customary practice among Two Rivers' folks, as "a good sheep makes for a good night," as they say in those parts.

The Editor-in-Chief and the Chief Reporter have withdrawn to the nearest bar to discuss the emergency. The front desk will in the meantime be manned by junior associate Dragon Thief, who, from his past exploits, is immune to sheep pest and other sheep-related diseases.

The Gazette apologizes for any incovenience to our readers.

Terez
06-16-2008, 04:37 AM
Dear Editor-in-Chief Uno,

My sources tell me that al'Vere will be insulted if no one fraternizes with the sheep. Theif should be able to cover that for us, but make sure he understands he shouldn't discriminate.

Terez, the Antijournalist

Spidy
06-16-2008, 06:45 AM
It is time for the Gazette to extent a hearty handshake to one of the most valued members of our team, Roving Guest Reporter Herid Fel.

Editor,

Who the hell is Herid Fel? Are you trying to play some sort of lame joke on me. This is driving me crazy. I am getting no respect, no pay fiiting my workload and effort. I may have to go see if there are any openings at the Aryth Advertiser.

Ferid Hel - unhappy, angry and now very upset Roving Guest Reporter

Terez
06-16-2008, 08:48 AM
Dear Editor-in-Chief Uno,

As per your request, I have found something to keep Elsie occupied in the Two Rivers for some time. There's a new establishment up in Taren Ferry, run by a woman from Lugard, named The Golden Cucumber, and I worked out a nice deal with the mistress. Elsie's diversions there should be quite lucrative for us - maybe enough to give Hel a raise? - and I still have agents in her crew to keep us informed on important goings-on in the region. I'm using a bit of the profits we've already made off Elsie to send a few kegs of genuine Land of Madmen XXXX up to Thakan'dar.

Cheers

Terez, the Antijournalist

Sei'taer
01-13-2009, 04:18 PM
Dear Junior Associate Dragon Theif/Thief,

Be careful of the sheep. I've heard crabs feel like a luxury spa when compared to what those sheep are carrying, and knowing how many times you've had crabs, I just wanted to warn you away. I also wanted to remind you that these are male sheep...we don't want to have another episode like we did last year...remember the look on the healers face when you waddled in with a sheep balanced in a very bothersome and undignified position. She said you were lucky to have such a small dingle or removal would have been a terrifyingly painful ordeal.

Sincerely and with best wishes,

Your Loyal Informant

PS Is it true that emails can be subpoenaed and possibly used against you in a court proceeding?