PDA

View Full Version : Rand's Apology to Hurin


SixPips
11-27-2010, 10:19 AM
A few people had mentioned how they felt slighted by the fact that Rand had apologized to Hurin offscreen. Several people mentioned to me they appreciated my other fanfic's and would love to see the scene elaborated upon.

If you would be so kind as to read and post and tell me your opinion on the work I would appreciate it greatly, The link for it is:

http://www.theoryland.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=131996#post131996

If you would like to see the AMOL Epilogue piece I wrote, the link is:

http://www.theoryland.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=4689

And lastly, if you would like to see the Perrin piece I did, you may view it at:

http://www.theoryland.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=4772

I hope you sincerely enjoy the fanfics:D

subwoofer
11-27-2010, 11:12 AM
Weeeeeeeeeee! That was good. I do like the idea of the purity of Rand's scent juxtaposed with the mundane of horse dung and the normalcy of crime and death. The sunlight was a very good image too.:)

I also like the contrast of Rand's new scent as compared to the scent of death and destruction Rand had in Hurin's last meeting with Rand.

Couple of thing niggled at me. First, we have seen the new Rand seek people out. Rand went to Egwene. Rand went to Rodel. Nobody summoned these people to meet with Rand. I have a feeling that Rand would come to Hurin. That would be a show of humility which is a large part of Rand now- atoning for his past wrongs.

Second thing, there were no scent of dirty diapers when Hurin "sniffed" the baby;)

SixPips
11-27-2010, 12:51 PM
lol you make a good point :) the Rand seeking Hurin thing makes sense, I just imagined there would be no way he would find Hurin in the midst of the camp in any reasonable amount of time, and no way the 4 rulers would leave him alone long enough to do so. As for baby diapers...Hurin probably couldn't distinguish the baby diaper from the horse dung they were both so foul ;)

The Mardy Asha'man
11-28-2010, 07:33 AM
I liked it. good job :)

The Immortal One
11-28-2010, 11:15 AM
Weeeeeeeeeee! That was good. I do like the idea of the purity of Rand's scent juxtaposed with

I haven't actually read it yet, but this sounds wrong, Rand shouldn't smell nice and pleasant to Hurin. Hurin smells violence - not the intent behind it. No matter Rand's new hopeful outlook, to Hurin, Rand would still smell of all the violence and death he has caused.

subwoofer
11-28-2010, 11:22 AM
I haven't actually read it yet,

Dang it!

RJ: Read And Find Out.

Khoram
11-28-2010, 12:59 PM
I really enjoyed this one, too.

Nitpick: The dialogue I found a bit off, and Hurin always called Rand "Lord Rand" - I found that that had a more familiar tone than him just calling Rand by his name.

Even if Hurin is only able to smell violence and death, I still really liked how you described the smell of the new Rand - it could very well mean that Rand's ta'vereness changed Hurin's sense of smell in a way that he can smell both good and bad. But this is just a theory. ;)

All in all, very well done. I really enjoyed it.

Servus Christi
11-28-2010, 03:49 PM
I like Hurin. But I think some people take his and Rand's tGS interaction a little too much to hurt. It's not as if Rand got down of his horse and slaughtered innocent babies in front of Hurin before making Hurin eat the remains cooked by balefire.

He snubbed Hurin once.. yea he should apologise for doing that to a friend. But, as well written as your piece is, it seems a little too over the top.

Rand: "Sup Hurin?"
Hurin: "Yo sup Lord Rand?"
Rand: "Nm, just doing the whole saving the world thing, ye know? Oh by the way sorry for being a bit of a dick the other day. Had a lot going on like that whole insanity thing."
Hurin: "No problem dawg, wanna get some beers and go see some bitches?"

SixPips
11-28-2010, 04:51 PM
I like Hurin. But I think some people take his and Rand's tGS interaction a little too much to hurt. It's not as if Rand got down of his horse and slaughtered innocent babies in front of Hurin before making Hurin eat the remains cooked by balefire.

He snubbed Hurin once.. yea he should apologise for doing that to a friend. But, as well written as your piece is, it seems a little too over the top.

Rand: "Sup Hurin?"
Hurin: "Yo sup Lord Rand?"
Rand: "Nm, just doing the whole saving the world thing, ye know? Oh by the way sorry for being a bit of a dick the other day. Had a lot going on like that whole insanity thing."
Hurin: "No problem dawg, wanna get some beers and go see some bitches?"

lol I see what you mean, I felt like it wouldn't be as big of a deal to Hurin as it was to Rand. He felt he had wronged him(Hurin) and that he must rectify the situation in as thorough of a manner as possible. Was it over the top? Probably, but as it was offscreen, I had fun with it:D

yasiru89
11-28-2010, 11:40 PM
The Hurin piece was the best of the lot. Really well done! Especially as Hurin's PoV and the insights on Sniffing you offer (though as The Immortal One said, it might have sufficed to have had Hurin simply smell a pleasant, devoid of hurt and violence effect around Rand like in the stedding- though admittedly your way was more substantial- perhaps this was a reason why this scene was omitted in ToM, along with space restrictions and all).
I would have expected it to be a simple exchange verbally too, Hurin respects 'Lord Rand' (another point you might rectify- maybe instead of Hurin changing the Rand to Lord, you could go with Lord Rand to an awkward Lord Dragon, with Rand insisting he be addressed simply as Rand) too much to be offended very grievously.

Also, on the epilogue (noteworthy is that that's not the kind of epilogue I'd like for the series, so a battle epilogue is more what I thought of it as), that was as well as this particular type of ending could be pulled off. In fact, I was certain Nynaeve healing death would have me retching violently regardless how it was presented in aMoL, but since this didn't I induce now that such a turn about wouldn't put me off very badly. Truly, this was done very well, especially since it connects (in casting exception) with what RJ had said about channelling ability being inherent to the soul. The only issue from a literary point of view was that the scene felt a little empty, especially toward the end, though I see no reason that can't be remedied with some more detail in the setting.

About to venture into the Perrin piece, should be as good as the others!

SixPips
11-29-2010, 02:11 PM
About to venture into the Perrin piece, should be as good as the others!

this is the kind of constructive criticism I had been looking for, looking to see what was right and wrong about each piece. I like begrudged admiration the best, hard won is hard lost = )

SixPips
12-10-2010, 11:47 AM
*cough* Haven't got a fanfic Thread started up for everyone, so I figured I'd bump one time until we got a new one, then I'll move this stuff to that one.