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The Unreasoner
06-23-2011, 04:36 PM
the one eyed man looked at me with a mild expression rendered quite disturbing by the intensity of the painted eye on his eyepatch.
"just pick one," he said. "Red, or blue."
His name was Uno, and he was a local newspaper's editor in chief. I had approached him, asking for a job, only to learn that all of his writers were required to spend some time in another world to hone their journalism skills. He called the world Theoryland.
I looked again at the dialog box. "Confirm your registration?" it asked. A deceptively simple question. Yes, bordered in red, the word no on a field of blue.
"well?"
I thought for a little while longer, then made my decision.

Alex blinked for a moment, turning in a full circle, observing the strange world. This is Theoryland? he wondered. It doesn't seem so stra-
"Hi there," said the newcomer. "you are new here, aren't you."
It didn't sound like a question, but Alex nodded anyway.
"Well, welcome. this is the world of hard core fan freaks. call me looquas."
fan freaks of what? "hi looquas," said Alex. "I'm Alex."
"what sort of name is that?" looquas wanted to know. what sort of name is looquas? Alex thought, but he just shrugged without saying anything.
looquas didn't press the issue, and likely would have had no chance, as another person showed up.
"oh, this is gnat," said looquas. "but everyone calls her zombie sammael"
zombie sammael. of course. what better nickname for someone named gnat? But what Alex said was, "pleased to meet you."

zombie sammael smiled and then left with looquas. wondering what to make of those two, Alex walked right into finssss. "OWW!" said finssss. "watch it! you'll ruin the treasure map."
what's this? "treasure map?"
"yes. it leads to a hidden valley where there is proof that olver is gaidal Cain." Alex wondered what the fellow's definition of treasure was.
but before he could ask any more questions, a tall, imperious woman appeared who seemed to be leading a rock on a string.
"that, little noobs, is nothing more than a red herring."
And to Alex's surprise, where the map once was, flopped an unappealing red fish. the woman then handed Alex a gold coin, laughed, and vanished.
"terez," breathed finssss. he stood up, gave the fish one last regretful look, and vanished as well.
Alex picked up the fish and wondered if it could be eaten, as he was very hungry, but after realizing he had nothing to clean it with, he started to toss it in a nearby trashcan. was that there before? he wondered. but before he could rid himself of the fish-
"Why Do You Waste Such Things?" asked a voice.
Alex spun to find a truly strange man, one with many arms and the head of an elephant.
"I don't know what I could use it for," replied Alex.
"Chuckles. Shakes His Head. He Does Not Know? Then He Will Learn! Come With Felix To His Ashram!" said the strange man, turning with a flourish of his cloak. Bewildered, Alex followed the man he suspected of being quite mad towards a circus in the distance, wondering if he was cut out for journalism after all.

The Unreasoner
06-23-2011, 04:41 PM
Part two coming soon

final death
02-13-2012, 11:12 PM
That was chuckle worthy. Please continue.

Zombie Sammael
03-17-2012, 03:35 PM
I'm not sure if you were making a joke about the phenomenon of noob confusion regard my gender, or if you were genuinely confused yourself when you wrote this. Either way, the clue is in the name.

GonzoTheGreat
03-18-2012, 04:46 AM
I'm not sure if you were making a joke about the phenomenon of noob confusion regard my gender, or if you were genuinely confused yourself when you wrote this.
I don't know why people have a hard time figuring that out. To me it seems intuitively obvious even to the most casual observer.

yks 6nnetu hing
03-19-2012, 09:07 AM
I'm not sure if you were making a joke about the phenomenon of noob confusion regard my gender, or if you were genuinely confused yourself when you wrote this. Either way, the clue is in the name.

your avatar has boobs.

Manboobs are still boobs.

easy confusion...


now, my avatar also has boobs, and people think I'm a guy all the time. About as often as they think Frenzy's a guy, actually.

Zombie Sammael
03-22-2012, 04:22 PM
your avatar has boobs.

Manboobs are still boobs.

easy confusion...


now, my avatar also has boobs, and people think I'm a guy all the time. About as often as they think Frenzy's a guy, actually.

Well, in Britain, yks 6nettu hing is a fairly common boy's name.

The Unreasoner
03-22-2012, 05:33 PM
His avatar at the time was a simple knife. Yes, I screwed up, and yes I feel badly. I apologize. Now, I will end this. While I may have once intended to write more than one chapter, circumstance impedes me. So, adieu