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View Full Version : Corrupt a Wish!


Matoyak
08-01-2008, 12:13 AM
We've done this before, but I think it's been a while (if at all on these shiny, new boards)

OK, in this game, you present the group with a wish of yours, and the next person has to corrupt it AND make a new wish.

example:
Person 1- I wish that I could get straight A's.
Person 2- POOF! You have straight A's, but your teachers find you so smart that you are transferred to a new school where you know nobody!
I wish I could have a dog.
Person 3- SHAZAM! You have a dog, but it dies the day after you get it.
I wish I could be a faster runner.

etc...I'll start this off with something easy:
I wish I had a billion $100 bills (USD)

tworiverswoman
08-01-2008, 12:36 AM
You find 1,000,000,000 $100 bills in a time capsule under your bedroom floor -- then realize they all have the same serial number. And they're brown.

I wish a cure for the common cold will be discovered - tomorrow.

Matoyak
08-01-2008, 12:38 AM
A cure is discovered...unfortunately, it zombifies everyone to receive it...and only one man is left alive in New York...wait, that's already been done... ~Back copyright lawyers, back!~

I wish I had some eyedrops that worked really well.

Frenzy
08-01-2008, 03:14 AM
I wish I had some eyedrops that worked really well.
Poof! Your eyes are no longer red & itchy. They're now yellow and smelly.

i wish i could stop time every once in a while so i could get everything that i need to do done in a timely fashion.

Mort
08-01-2008, 05:36 AM
Poof! Your eyes are no longer red & itchy. They're now yellow and smelly.

i wish i could stop time every once in a while so i could get everything that i need to do done in a timely fashion.

You are able to stop time, but it only works on everyone else, you age 20 times faster while you have stopped time.

I wish I had telepathic abilities.

Anaiya Sedai
08-01-2008, 06:19 AM
you have telepathic abilities, but they only work on cockroaches in a 20m radius.

I wish I could sleep.

irerancincpkc
08-01-2008, 06:25 AM
You can sleep, but you wake up and realize you slept too long, and now you are fired from your job and someone has robbed your house.

I wish I could fly.

Anaiya Sedai
08-01-2008, 06:31 AM
you can fly, but only lift yourself off the ground by 5 inches, at a walking pace.

I wish I would stop feeling so bored.


(Spammer: I can't get fired from my job, so I'm ok there :D and you can never sleep for too long. lol
as for my house being robbed.. *shrugs* might be worth it for some sleep)

Brita
08-01-2008, 08:17 AM
I wish I would stop feeling so bored.


You fall into a deep coma for 20 years- now you can get your sleep and are oblivious to boredom.

I wish I could find my daughter's hamster that escaped from it's cage last night.

Davian93
08-01-2008, 08:44 AM
I wish I could find my daughter's hamster that escaped from it's cage last night.

You do but you realize it was in the casserole you made the night before.

I wish I had a boxing kangeroo as a pet...

tanaww
08-01-2008, 09:02 AM
I wish I had a boxing kangeroo as a pet...

You do, but the damn thing kicks your ass every day. It gets embarassing.

I wish Rogue Savior wasn't a Yankees fan.

Davian93
08-01-2008, 09:04 AM
I wish Rogue Savior wasn't a Yankees fan.

Granted...but he ends up moving to Long Island and becomes an obnoxious Mets fan...a breed even lower than Yankees fans.

tanaww
08-01-2008, 09:08 AM
Granted...but he ends up moving to Long Island and becomes an obnoxious Mets fan...a breed even lower than Yankees fans.

But Dude! He moves away from home? That's fucking awesome. And Jon Stewart is a Mets fan. So I'll take it.:p

I don't even consider that wish corrupted.

I wish Rush Limbaugh would STFU.

Davian93
08-01-2008, 09:21 AM
I wish Rush Limbaugh would STFU.

Granted. But his newfound silence is taken as a sign of the divinity and wisdom and his followers (now known as Rushians) carry him and his policies to the White House in a stunning upset. Hilarity ensues as he overthrows the weak outdated Constitution and rules by fiat!!!

I wish I had some more coffee...

tanaww
08-01-2008, 09:25 AM
I wish I had some more coffee...
Granted. It's decaf.

I wish the Tana / Hopper ticket would win the election.

Mort
08-01-2008, 09:51 AM
You win the election, and then you wake up.

I wish I had an infinite amount of good beer here next to me.

Davian93
08-01-2008, 09:55 AM
You win the election, and then you wake up.

I wish I had an infinite amount of good beer here next to me.

You do but being good beer its not twistoff and you don't have an opener.

I wish that the Phillies would win the World Series.

Brita
08-01-2008, 10:03 AM
They do win the World Series on EA Sports: Triple Play Baseball only.

I wish I could wield the One Power.

(hehe- this is fun!)

Davian93
08-01-2008, 10:12 AM
You can but you live in 1690's Salem, Ma and you're burned as a witch before you learn to master your newfound powers.

I wish that I could time travel.

Brita
08-01-2008, 10:18 AM
You can, but your first trip takes you to Salem Ma at the exact same time as they are executing an incredibly attractive witch. Some strange twist of fate lands you right in the tinder pile that has been prepared for the witch and simultaneously transports the witch to modern day.

I wish I only had to work when I wanted to.

jason wolfbrother
08-01-2008, 11:15 AM
Granted but your boss only pays you when he wants to.

I wish I had a real lightsaber

Davian93
08-01-2008, 11:17 AM
Granted but your boss only pays you when he wants to.

I wish I had a real lightsaber


Granted but you lose both your hands in an industrial accident the first day you have it.

I wish I had some Taco Bell for lunch...

Cary Sedai
08-01-2008, 12:35 PM
I wish I had some Taco Bell for lunch...

Granted, but it's from the resturaunt where one of the employees is using the ground beef for a toilet...

I wish I had a bathtub big enough to actually immerse my whole body when I bathe...

Brita
08-01-2008, 12:46 PM
Granted, but you don't realize your apartment isn't built to support the weight of the water, and as soon as you slip into the luxurious bath the floor gives way and you crash down to the first floor apartment where Multi-millionaire Peter Dushop is packing his belongings. Shocked and shaken, you blurt out "What is your sign? I was just wondering because I am also the cautious type..."

I wish I was a Jumper and could teleport...

Davian93
08-01-2008, 12:56 PM
Granted, but it's from the resturaunt where one of the employees is using the ground beef for a toilet...

Wouldn't that be every Taco Bell?

irerancincpkc
08-01-2008, 12:59 PM
Wouldn't that be every Taco Bell?
Hey, I could live at Taco Bell. :D

Cary Sedai
08-01-2008, 01:00 PM
I wish I was a Jumper and could teleport...

Granted, however you can't control where you will end up when you teleport and for some reason your clothes just won't make the transfer. You wind up in the middle of a televised soccer match.....better teleport again, quick! :p

I wish I could move tomorrow!

Davian93
08-01-2008, 01:03 PM
Hey, I could live at Taco Bell. :D

I'm not bashing Taco Bell (its one of my favorite fastfoods)...just stating fact. ;)

Sarevok
08-01-2008, 01:22 PM
I wish I could move tomorrow!
Granted... you can move to Mexico. I hear it's nice and warm there.

I wish I had a job as a pilot.

Ivhon
08-01-2008, 01:26 PM
Granted... you can move to Mexico. I hear it's nice and warm there.

I wish I had a job as a pilot.

You're hired. Now take this 1958 single prop and fly 400 kilos of coke into Miami.

I wish I could use the Force. Darkside/Lightside...don't matter.

Brita
08-01-2008, 01:35 PM
You can but you live in 1690's Salem, Ma and you're burned as a wizard before you learn to master your newfound powers. (1)

I wish it is 1630 so I can go home.

Footnotes
(1) Davian93: http://www.theoryland.com/vbulletin/newreply.php?do=newreply&noquote=1&p=12859; August 1, 2008.

Anaiya Sedai
08-01-2008, 01:46 PM
granted. but you get home and find that your keys and your phone are inside, noone is in, and all doors and windows are locked, so you need to wait 4 hours for the locksmith to turn up.

I wish I had something nice to eat in my fridge.

Davian93
08-01-2008, 01:48 PM
I wish I had something nice to eat in my fridge.

Granted...You have a complete meal from Cheesecake Factory (courtesy of SoE) but your fridge died while you out all day and its all spoiled now.

I wish I was hiking right now.

Weird Harold
08-01-2008, 03:37 PM
I wish I was hiking right now.

...You're High King -- but the peasants are revolting and that guillotine looks pretty sharp.

I wish I had exact change for anything I wanted to buy in my right front pocket whenever the sales person gave me the total.

Sei'taer
08-01-2008, 04:19 PM
I wish I had exact change for anything I wanted to buy in my right front pocket whenever the sales person gave me the total.

Granted, it's all in pennies though.


I wish someone would steal my wifes chihuahuas (don't even think you can put a worse dog in here...it's not possible).

Crispin's Crispian
08-01-2008, 04:33 PM
Granted, it's all in pennies though.


I wish someone would steal my wifes chihuahuas (don't even think you can put a worse dog in here...it's not possible).

Granted, but they're replaced with 20 ft long crocodiles.


I wish this wish was incorruptible.

tworiverswoman
08-01-2008, 04:57 PM
Very well - your wish remains as stands. How perfectly useless.


I wish I had a ticket to Europe (First Class all the way!)

Purple Dragon
08-01-2008, 04:58 PM
Very well - your wish remains as stands. How perfectly useless.


I wish I had a ticket to Europe (First Class all the way!)


Granted... you have a first class shipping crate... complete without airholes.

Iz wishes i has a cheezburgers...(nom)

tworiverswoman
08-01-2008, 05:02 PM
Granted... you have a first class shipping crate... complete without airholes.

Iz wishes i has a cheezburgers...(nom) ... WITHOUT airholes? Trying to lose a warder? ~sniff~


Grants two wishes --- improves English AND gives you a cheeseburger, but the cheese is Rancid Yak Butter Cheese, with a side of Gorgonzola and you are evicted from every building you try to enter due to the lingering aroma coming out of your pores...

I wish the shipping crate had air conditioning and was on a luxury liner -- and had a door I could open.

Cary Sedai
08-01-2008, 05:05 PM
I wish the shipping crate had air conditioning and was on a luxury liner -- and had a door I could open.


Granted, but you are so excited about the door, you open it and fall right out into the sea, watching as the liner keeps going....

I wish I could play a match of quiditch

tworiverswoman
08-01-2008, 05:08 PM
I wish I could play a match of quiditch
You find that, as you're a fairy, you are mistaken for the snitch and get grabbed out of the air rather painfully...

I wish I had some shark repellent -- and a raft.

tanaww
08-01-2008, 05:54 PM
You have shark repellent and a raft but no ocean. Welcome to the desert, sweetie.

I wish summer vacation ended today.

StrangePackage
08-01-2008, 06:16 PM
You have shark repellent and a raft but no ocean. Welcome to the desert, sweetie.

I wish summer vacation ended today.

Summer vacation is over. All your children fail out of school and come home to stay with you full time.

I wish I wasn't so dad-blasted charming.

Ivhon
08-01-2008, 07:16 PM
Summer vacation is over. All your children fail out of school and come home to stay with you full time.

I wish I wasn't so dad-blasted charming.

Granted. Not only do you lack wit, you smell of 3 week old summer sweat.

Which causes you to lose your nice Associate-ship, be unable to get employment anywhere else and you wind up walking the streets of Charlotte begging for money...which no-one gives you.

I wish I knew what I was talking about.

Weird Harold
08-01-2008, 08:50 PM
I wish I knew what I was talking about.

Granted. You know what you're talking about so well you can't talk fast enough to get it all out and develop an uncontrollable -- and unintellible -- speech impediment.

You can still write coherently, but only on topics you know nothing about. :D

I wish pennies were legal tender for debts over $0.50.

Sei'taer
08-01-2008, 08:51 PM
I wish I knew what I was talking about.

You know what you're talking about, but noone else does...a fairly normal incident, given who you are.



I wish I could be king for a day.

RogueSavior
08-01-2008, 08:58 PM
Granted! All hail King Sei'taer, king of Nauru!

I wish Batman was real.

Weird Harold
08-01-2008, 09:41 PM
I wish I could be king for a day.

Granted:

You're Louis XVI and the Day is Jan 21 1793.
I wish Batman was real.

Granted: Batman is real but You're not; You're a comic book character.

I still wish pennies were legal tender for more than $0.50

RogueSavior
08-01-2008, 09:46 PM
Hold up - they aren't? I hate pennies.

Granted! All payments are now in one cent increments - there are now only pennies!

I wish, as a comic book character, I'm a Super Villain

psychomusician
08-01-2008, 10:33 PM
Hold up - they aren't? I hate pennies.

Granted! All payments are now in one cent increments - there are now only pennies!

I wish, as a comic book character, I'm a Super Villain

yup, but you're in a doctor who comic, and as punishment for what you've done, he shoves you into a black hole

btw, lay off of taco bell, i work there now

anyhoo, i wish i had a car and my liscence

JSUCamel
08-01-2008, 11:06 PM
btw, lay off of taco bell, i work there now

anyhoo, i wish i had a car and my liscence

Precisely why I don't eat at Taco Smell anymore.

Granted, but it has no wheels and it's a fishing license.

I wish anytime I needed money I could reach into my pocket and the exact amount of change would be there.

psychomusician
08-01-2008, 11:36 PM
I wish anytime I needed money I could reach into my pocket and the exact amount of change would be there.

granted, but the change is in rubles

i wish my d&d character would level up

RogueSavior
08-02-2008, 12:21 AM
Granted. Unfortunately, he dies before you finish sorting out the skill points.

I wish I could survive the effects of a black hole!

StrangePackage
08-02-2008, 12:29 AM
Granted. You're physically fine, but your mind is blown by what transpired behind the event horizon. Your nigh-invulnerable and immortal body now houses a fractured, tortured pysche damaged beyond any hope of repair..

I wish Will Ferrel movies were funny.

RogueSavior
08-02-2008, 12:35 AM
Poof! You're RogueSavior! Congratulations! (Also... that would be an awesome badguy... duh!)

I wish I could understand all languages, and speak them too!

StrangePackage
08-02-2008, 12:41 AM
Shazam! It is so, but alas, you're the sole survivor of the Nuclear Holocaust. There's no one to converse with left on this world.

I wish I was the premiere martial artist in the world.

Sei'taer
08-02-2008, 12:42 AM
Poof! You're RogueSavior! Congratulations! (Also... that would be an awesome badguy... duh!)

I wish I could understand all languages, and speak them too!

Granted, but you're deaf and blind.


I wish the Dark Knight hadn't wrecked his Lambo.


Dammit, i doubled up on SP.


I wish I was the premiere martial artist in the world.

Granted but you're so old you're a has been.

RogueSavior
08-02-2008, 12:43 AM
Pizzow!!! There is none who you cannot defeat with your martial prowess!

Unfortunately, Dr. Danco got ahold of you while you were asleep.

I wish others knew why that wish corruption was funny...

Edit: Dudes shouldn't double up on dudes, dudes...

Edit Edit: Braille's a language, yes?

StrangePackage
08-02-2008, 12:43 AM
I wish the Dark Knight hadn't wrecked his Lambo.

Granted. He wrecked yours.

I wish I was infinitely plastic and elastic.

RogueSavior
08-02-2008, 12:48 AM
As you wish! You're now a barbie girl. In a Barbie World.

I wish this fucking DVD would play and quit pissing me off...

Frenzy
08-02-2008, 12:50 AM
granted: you're a ken doll. a smoooooth ken doll. With no head.

i wish i had sharks with frickin' lazer beams attached to their foreheads.

Hopper
08-02-2008, 12:50 AM
Granted. He wrecked yours.

I wish I was infinitely plastic and elastic.

Granted. Now you can't stop bouncing off the walls.

I wish that I was Earth's Sorcerer Supreme, immune to temporal shifts that could pull me into a time where I'd be burned as a witch

Frenzy
08-02-2008, 12:52 AM
Granted, but the DVD is stuck in the player. Stuck in an endless loop. And it's the Teletubbies.

i wish i had time to play guild wars.

RogueSavior
08-02-2008, 12:53 AM
Frenzy - Granted. But you don't get the skinless cat. Sorry.

Hopper - Granted. You are now pulled into a temporal shift that gets you incinerated in a furnace as a gypsy magician.

Frenzy again! - As you command! Feel free to not go to work on Monday. You're fired!

I wish for infinite wishes!

Sei'taer
08-02-2008, 01:13 AM
Frenzy - Granted. But you don't get the skinless cat. Sorry.

Hopper - Granted. You are now pulled into a temporal shift that gets you incinerated in a furnace as a gypsy magician.

Frenzy again! - As you command! Feel free to not go to work on Monday. You're fired!

I wish for infinite wishes!

Granted, but your pecker falls off and the world does away with money.

I wish I could find something decent to eat for a late night snack

psychomusician
08-02-2008, 01:16 AM
Granted, but your pecker falls off and the world does away with money.

I wish I could find something decent to eat for a late night snack

granted, but your tongue falls out of your head before you can enjoy it

i wish i had a music composition program for linux

(i'm serious guys, any help here?)

RogueSavior
08-02-2008, 01:16 AM
Pow! It's not Delivery, It's DiGiorno!

I wish I could beat Green Grass and High Times on Expert Guitar in Rock Band!

psychomusician
08-02-2008, 01:19 AM
Pow! It's not Delivery, It's DiGiorno!

I wish I could beat Green Grass and High Times on Expert Guitar in Rock Band!

granted, but as soon as you finish the song, the power goes out, and it doesnt save the game

i'm sticking with my last wish

RogueSavior
08-02-2008, 01:24 AM
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/cautionary.png

^^ Nuff Said

I wish pyschomusician brought me a steak fajita melt from Taco Bell right at this instant!

psychomusician
08-02-2008, 01:29 AM
I wish pyschomusician brought me a steak fajita melt from Taco Bell right at this instant!

granted. one fajita steak melt hold the spit. too bad the fajita vegetables are actually quite disgusting right on their own. seriously, you're better off with a cheesy double beef

i wish i could think up a main theme for the piece i'm composing right now

irerancincpkc
08-02-2008, 07:30 AM
i wish i could think up a main theme for the piece i'm composing right now
Granted, but without realizing it, you commit musical plagerism and are arrested.

I wish that I could have a never ending supply of vienna sausage.

Anaiya Sedai
08-02-2008, 07:40 AM
granted. but you develop an allergyto them.

I wish my neighbours could stop being so noisy and just move the f*** out already. (seriously, I got to sleep at 5am, and they start moving funiture and boxes at 7am >.< )

irerancincpkc
08-02-2008, 07:55 AM
Granted. They move out and new neighbors with six adopted babies who do nothing but cry all night and twelve dogs that do nothing but bark all night move in.

I wish I could visit Mars...

tanaww
08-02-2008, 08:32 AM
Granted Spammer! But there is life on Mars and they think you look delicious.

I wish I had season tickets for NHRA, the Twins and Redskin Football!

StrangePackage
08-02-2008, 09:55 AM
Granted. Unfortunately this season there's an athletic union strike which forces them all to close until negotiations are finished. Probably several seasons from now.

I wish I had the ideal male physique.

Anaiya Sedai
08-02-2008, 10:05 AM
granted. now you have several stalkers a la enduring love.

I wish I hadn't eaten that bowl of cereal.

jason wolfbrother
08-02-2008, 10:18 AM
Granted. Instead you drank that milk that's been on the counter since last Tuesday getting warm.

I wish I could fly

Hopper
08-02-2008, 11:03 AM
Granted. Instead you drank that milk that's been on the counter since last Tuesday getting warm.

I wish I could fly

Granted. But you can't land.

I wish I could lose 40 pounds.

tanaww
08-02-2008, 11:18 AM
Granted. But you can't land.

I wish I could lose 40 pounds.

Granted. I hope you're enjoying London but now you don't have cab fare. You've got no dollars either.

I wish SP wasn't so mean to me!

Anaiya Sedai
08-02-2008, 03:09 PM
granted. now everyone else is mean to you.

I wish I had been more careful with that hot spaghetti bowl.

lurk
08-02-2008, 03:51 PM
granted. now everyone else is mean to you.

I wish I had been more careful with that hot spaghetti bowl.

Kazoom, it now contains muesli

I wish my car would drive on something cheaper than fuel

Sei'taer
08-02-2008, 05:16 PM
Kazoom, it now contains muesli

I wish my car would drive on something cheaper than fuel

Granted, free form diarrhea begins to be commonplace around you

I wish I could come up with a good wish.

Ivhon
08-02-2008, 05:38 PM
Granted, free form diarrhea begins to be commonplace around you

I wish I could come up with a good wish.

Granted. You come up with the best wish you could possibly make. And forget it 2 seconds later.

I wish it would cool off.

Brita
08-02-2008, 06:38 PM
Granted- you move to Arctic Canada and live in an igloo.

I wish we didn't find my daughter's hamster (man that thing is stinky and messy!)

psychomusician
08-02-2008, 07:21 PM
Granted- you move to Arctic Canada and live in an igloo.

I wish we didn't find my daughter's hamster (man that thing is stinky and messy!)

granted, instead you found the shit demon from dogma which then proceeds to eat you

i wish to go to the festival!

tworiverswoman
08-02-2008, 08:50 PM
Granted -- you go to the Polka Festival in Ennis, Texas. You don't have a good time...


I wish all my computer hardware would work right the first time, every time (and NOT break down, thank you...)

Uncle Fisty
08-02-2008, 09:41 PM
I wish all my computer hardware would work right the first time, every time (and NOT break down, thank you...)
Granted, all your hardware works perfectly. However, none of it is compatible with your OS, causing your system to crash on startup.

I wish I had a watermelon.

Ozymandias
08-02-2008, 11:34 PM
Granted, all your hardware works perfectly. However, none of it is compatible with your OS, causing your system to crash on startup.

I wish I had a watermelon.

Granted - but Gallagher is waiting in your house when you get home, and smashes it.

I wish I could find a decent deli in Sydney.

PS - Dav, the only time the Phillies will win the world series are when every other team has been disqualified. Had to take a shot at that

Sei'taer
08-03-2008, 01:20 AM
I wish I could find a decent deli in Sydney.


Granted, but it's a womens club...the kitchen and the dressing room are in the same area and several dudes schlongs have been waving around your tasty club sammich while getting their banana hammocks ready for there next dance.

I wish it wasn't so humid.

jason wolfbrother
08-03-2008, 03:30 AM
Granted, but it's a womens club...the kitchen and the dressing room are in the same area and several dudes schlongs have been waving around your tasty club sammich while getting their banana hammocks ready for there next dance.

I wish it wasn't so humid.


Granted. welcome to the middle of the Sahara Desert, with no camel, no water, and no shelter.


Since I can fly from my previous wish now I wish I could land and retain the ability to fly

Anaiya Sedai
08-03-2008, 07:25 AM
Kazoom, it now contains muesli

I wish my car would drive on something cheaper than fuel
that would have been better, muesli is nice, and it can't burn your hand.


Since I can fly from my previous wish now I wish I could land and retain the ability to fly
granted, but you can only land on your head, your feet are still floating and can't touch the ground.


I wish my ceiling was thicker, so I wouldn't have to hear the neighbours moving anymore (seriously, just gtfo)

Hopper
08-03-2008, 08:49 AM
Granted. Your ceiling is thicker, but is now transparent and your neighbors are voyeurs.

I wish I was Anaiya's upstairs neighbor.

StrangePackage
08-03-2008, 09:15 AM
Granted. Of course, now you have to deal with Anaiya's 400 pound nudist roommate and her 225 pound, ex-special forces, martial arts instructer hyper protective boyfriend.

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and not get fat.

tanaww
08-03-2008, 10:48 AM
Granted. Of course, now you have to deal with Anaiya's 400 pound nudist roommate and her 225 pound, ex-special forces, martial arts instructer hyper protective boyfriend.

I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and not get fat.

Granted. It's just the opposite. You eat whatever you want and continue to lose weight at an alarming rate. You end up in a rehab facility unable to convince anyone you aren't suffering from an eating disorder. To keep you from getting stressed out and exacerbating your "disease", you're not allowed to watch sports - especially no college basketball. Just basket weaving for you mate until your mental health improves.

I wish I had my PhD done with already.

DahLliA
08-03-2008, 11:10 AM
I wish I had my PhD done with already.

Granted, but everyone else gets a PhD in the same area so getting a job is next to impossible

I wish I could drink as much as I want and never get hungover again

Weird Harold
08-03-2008, 12:37 PM
I wish I could drink as much as I want and never get hungover again

Granted, you lose all desire to drink -- anything. You soon expire from extreme dehydration without suffering any hangover symptoms in the process.

I wish the Moon were made of Roquefort instead of Green cheese.

Ivhon
08-03-2008, 12:50 PM
Granted, you lose all desire to drink -- anything. You soon expire from extreme dehydration without suffering any hangover symptoms in the process.

I wish the Moon were made of Roquefort instead of Green cheese.


Granted. However, Roquefort is three times as dense as green cheese, the gravitational forces thereof causing it to hurtle back into the earth - specifically at YOUR house. The good news is that you have a lifetime supply of Roquefort cheese. The bad news is that you have doomed yourself - and the rest of us, thank you very much - to an incredibly short life.

Edit: forgot my wish. I wish I would remember to make a wish the first time I need to make a wish.

tanaww
08-03-2008, 01:38 PM
I wish I would remember to make a wish the first time I need to make a wish.

Granted but all your wishes are for lame stuff like world peace and money and none of them come true thanks to these bastiges that keep corrupting perfectly lovely wishes.

I wish I could take a nap and awaken to find my grocery shopping done.

Birgitte
08-03-2008, 02:28 PM
i wish i had a music composition program for linux

(i'm serious guys, any help here?)

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/black_hat_support.png

Mom,

Granted, but all your groceries are now brussel sprouts. Enjoy!

I wish I could get all my stuff.

psychomusician
08-03-2008, 03:01 PM
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/black_hat_support.png

Mom,

Granted, but all your groceries are now brussel sprouts. Enjoy!

I wish I could get all my stuff.

granted, but its all broken and the warrenties have expired

does anyone else think its interesting that this forum's entire expertise on linux comes from xkcd?

anyhoo, i wish that my computer wasnt a piece of shit

jason wolfbrother
08-03-2008, 03:02 PM
Granted but all your wishes are for lame stuff like world peace and money and none of them come true thanks to these bastiges that keep corrupting perfectly lovely wishes.

I wish I could take a nap and awaken to find my grocery shopping done.

Granted. You now have an endless supply of SPAM, Kraft Cheese and Macaroni, and Sour Cream and Onion potato chips. and nothing to drink.



I wish stupidity was painful to those suffering from it

psychomusician
08-03-2008, 03:51 PM
Granted. You now have an endless supply of SPAM, Kraft Cheese and Macaroni, and Sour Cream and Onion potato chips. and nothing to drink.



I wish stupidity was painful to those suffering from it

granted, but you now have to live with horrible constant pain the rest of your life

i wish my computer wasnt such a piece of shit

Mort
08-03-2008, 04:22 PM
granted, but you now have to live with horrible constant pain the rest of your life

i wish my computer wasnt such a piece of shit
It's not, it's now a piece of salad, with the tomatoes gone bad.

I wish that the poster after me doesnt corrupt my wishes!

Ivhon
08-03-2008, 05:55 PM
It's not, it's now a piece of salad, with the tomatoes gone bad.

I wish that the poster after me doesnt corrupt my wishes!


Granted. Still...that doesn't leave you with very much, now, does it?

I wish I didnt break everything I touch.

StrangePackage
08-03-2008, 06:45 PM
Granted. Your wife breaks everything you touch.

I wish the USA would lose in basketball at the olympics early and often.

Ozymandias
08-03-2008, 10:05 PM
Granted. Your wife breaks everything you touch.

I wish the USA would lose in basketball at the olympics early and often.

Granted... but the US wins every other event

StrangePackage
08-03-2008, 10:48 PM
Granted... but the US wins every other event

You aren't good at this game. That would be i-freaking-deal. You made my wish BETTER.

Mort
08-04-2008, 07:43 AM
Granted. Still...that doesn't leave you with very much, now, does it?

I wish I didnt break everything I touch.

Not with that wish no, but the rest of them should be corrupt free as of now. :D It wasn't a one time thing, ALL wishes are corrupt free. But since I got a little bored from this thread now I am actually gonna quit playing. Just knowing I could have anything I wanted made it all boring :)

Matoyak
08-04-2008, 07:57 PM
It's not, it's now a piece of salad, with the tomatoes gone bad.

I wish that the poster after me doesnt corrupt my wishes! Being that I am not the poster directly after you, your wish is granted, but soon after you realize you're allergic to carbon dioxide, and break out in hives every time you come into contact with it. (Ah, the price of an uncorruptable wish...)

I wish that I had some Gene Pool Bleach to use as I would want to use it.

Brita
08-04-2008, 08:26 PM
I wish that I had some Gene Pool Bleach to use as I would want to use it.

Granted- but being completely unaware of the intricacies of the human race, your first "bleach" seeming innocent enough, you set off a cascade of DNA destruction that will destroy humanity by 9:07 tomorrow morning.

I wish I could do cool ninja moves without any training or effort whatsoever.

Matoyak
08-04-2008, 09:07 PM
Granted- but being completely unaware of the intricacies of the human race, your first "bleach" seeming innocent enough, you set off a cascade of DNA destruction that will destroy humanity by 9:07 tomorrow morning.

I wish I could do cool ninja moves without any training or effort whatsoever.
~blink~ and poof! You get amazingly cool ninja moves overnight! Unfortunately, this makes you a target off all the major world powers, and 32 nukes are launched right at your house while you sleep.

Congratulations on the ninja moves! You'll look really cool just before you evaporate!

Frenzy
08-04-2008, 09:14 PM
i wish matoyak would remember to post a wish. It's his own game for crap's sake.

Brita
08-04-2008, 09:24 PM
~~snicker~~

Poof! Your wish is granted- and I will not make a wish as we will wait for matoyak to post his.

Matoyak
08-04-2008, 09:25 PM
i wish matoyak would remember to post a wish. It's his own game for crap's sake.
I always do that...like, literally...always. :o

AAaaaanyways, no corrupting Frenzy's wish. Lol. Damn good wish, it is. I wish Wilie (SP) Coyote would finally catch that damn roadrunner.

Frenzy
08-04-2008, 09:32 PM
I wish Wilie (SP) Coyote would finally catch that damn roadrunner.
Wile E Coyote Catches the Road Runner (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJJW7EF5aVk)

i wish i could fine Loony Toons on TV, not just YouTube. My kids need a proper education.

Matoyak
08-04-2008, 09:37 PM
Wile E Coyote Catches the Road Runner (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJJW7EF5aVk)

i wish i could fine Loony Toons on TV, not just YouTube. My kids need a proper education. Wish granted. You now have to pay for Boomerang and the satellite TV to go along with it. And after all that, your kids spend more time watching Degrassi (ick) than doing their homework or watching loony tunes.

I wish I had a 16 course meal that was not poisoned, and would not give me stomach problems/digestive problems afterwards.

EDIT: Lol, forgot my wish again. Had to add it in after....LOL.

Weird Harold
08-04-2008, 10:02 PM
I wish I had a 16 course meal that was not poisoned, and would not give me stomach problems/digestive problems afterwards.

Granted: You have a 16 course meal that is dleicious and filling; it is so delicious and filling that you lose all desire for more food for seven days.

Unfortunately your seven course dinner is NOT nutritious and you starve for seven days before your irresistible 16 copurse meal appears again and you suffer for another week.

I wish th ennbowdlerized versions of classic carttons like Coyote and Road Runner or Tom and Jerry were still shown on TV

RogueSavior
08-04-2008, 11:48 PM
Granted! Unfortunately, that mullet you had in high school grows back, too. Gnarly, dude!

I wish the United States Wins Olympic Gold in Basketball... because it's our sport, dammit!

Weird Harold
08-05-2008, 02:00 AM
Granted! Unfortunately, that mullet you had in high school grows back, too. Gnarly, dude!

I wish the United States Wins Olympic Gold in Basketball... because it's our sport, dammit!

The Mullet wasn't invented until about twenty years after I graduated from highschool; the "Beetles Mop" look was the long-hair style of choice -- not that many chose it. :D

Your wish is already more corrupt than I could possibly make it, so granted. (giving the Gold back after the drug tests come back is another matter entirely.) :D

I wish parents understood children.

tworiverswoman
08-05-2008, 02:29 AM
WH -- SHAME on you that you can't spell "Beatles" -- sheesh!

I wish parents understood children.

Oh, dear. Wish granted. I'm not going to touch this wish -- it is horrible enough in its own right.

I wish I was wealthy enough to not need to work for a living, but not so wealthy I excited thieves and leeches (specifically human ones -- but please don't attach REAL leeches to me, either!)

Ivhon
08-05-2008, 08:19 AM
WH -- SHAME on you that you can't spell "Beatles" -- sheesh!



Oh, dear. Wish granted. I'm not going to touch this wish -- it is horrible enough in its own right.

I wish I was wealthy enough to not need to work for a living, but not so wealthy I excited thieves and leeches (specifically human ones -- but please don't attach REAL leeches to me, either!)

Hey Presto! POOF!

You discover that you no longer have to work for a living. After all, there is plenty of unused food in the city's trashcans and that's free. As well as a nice comfy spot to sleep under a bridge. Of course, its kindof hard to take a shower and you attract a swarm of bloodsucking....mosquitos that follows you wherever you go.

Stupid forget-to-make-a-wish foundation.

I wish that the resume I posted on Monster.com would attract someone looking for what I do instead of sales positions.

Edit Again: BTW...what's the ettiquette on online jobsites? If someone approaches me for something - like sales - that is clearly not what Im looking for or what my resume points to, do I need to respond? Especially if its an obvious cattle call thing?

tanaww
08-05-2008, 08:57 AM
I wish that the resume I posted on Monster.com would attract someone looking for what I do instead of sales positions.

Edit Again: BTW...what's the ettiquette on online jobsites? If someone approaches me for something - like sales - that is clearly not what Im looking for or what my resume points to, do I need to respond? Especially if its an obvious cattle call thing?

Ivhon, it depends. As someone who's had some great opportunities made available through Monster.com, my approach to those is simple. If it is obviously a mass e-mail, I ignore it. If not, I will respond politely to the head hunter that this isn't quite what I wanted and ask if s/he knows of anything that more closely matches my interest.

Weird Harold
08-05-2008, 10:48 AM
I wish that the resume I posted on Monster.com would attract someone looking for what I do instead of sales positions.

Granted: You get a response looking for exactly your skills and experience and offering an obscenely huge salary...

but it triggers your spam filter on the one day you empty your spam folder without chicking for mis-directed messages.


I wish children understood parents -- before becoming parents themselves.

RogueSavior
08-05-2008, 02:57 PM
Granted. All of your childhood memories of debauchery and fun are replaced by you being in bed by 9, reading a chapter of the bible a day, and never doing anything that would have got you into trouble - after all, you understood the reasons your parents didn't want you to do those things.

I wish I was rich and famous.

StrangePackage
08-05-2008, 03:17 PM
Shazam! You're now Rich and Famous Udai Hussein, and it's July 21, 2003. Enjoy your life of rich and famous luxury!

I wish my head would stop hurting.

Brita
08-05-2008, 03:27 PM
Granted- you now have Riley-Day Syndrome.

I wish I didn't have allergies.

RogueSavior
08-05-2008, 03:31 PM
Kazaam! You now have no senses.

I wish I was somebody else, who was also rich and famous...

Shock Lance
08-05-2008, 07:49 PM
Shazzam you are now Paris Hilton

I wish i could see into the future.

tworiverswoman
08-05-2008, 08:17 PM
Shazzam you are now Paris Hilton

I wish i could see into the future.~waves borrowed fairy wand~ wish granted. You can see RS stalking you with an axe for your last corruption. (aside: how COULD you be so horrible??)

I wish Guild Wars (online MMORPG -- accept no substitutes) would schedule wonderful and exciting events every weekend when I can play!

Anaiya Sedai
08-05-2008, 08:30 PM
granted. But now noone else is online to play with you. (then you know how I feel :p)


I wish I could get my ass of the sofa and stop being so lazy.

tworiverswoman
08-05-2008, 08:36 PM
granted. But now noone else is online to play with you. (then you know how I feel :p)


I wish I could get my ass of the sofa and stop being so lazy.Anaiya, you horrible woman, you... Besides -- I live in Hawaii. If it weren't for PD I would RARELY have anyone to play with. I'm out of EVERYONE'S time zone...

Granted -- your landlord evicts you due to some confusion in your bank and you wind up living in the streets, hustling photos on street corners for coffee money...


I wish I could talk my bosses OUT of the planned renovation of my office this month... :(

RogueSavior
08-05-2008, 08:51 PM
Poof - The money they were going to spend on the renovation has now been donated to my new favorite charity - The International Legion Against ShockLance for Cruel Actions (ILASCA for short)

I wish ShockLance was unable to walk more than three steps at a time before tripping and landing flat on his Aussie Nose.

Frenzy
08-05-2008, 11:34 PM
I wish ShockLance was unable to walk more than three steps at a time before tripping and landing flat on his Aussie Nose.
Granted. Every time he falls on his aussie nose he lands in a pile of cash. from your future earnings.

i wish last weekend lasted longer.

Brita
08-06-2008, 08:18 AM
i wish last weekend lasted longer.

Me too.




Oh- I'm supposed to corrupt it, ummm...granted, but here in Canada it lasted twice as long as it lasted for you.

I wish MoL is written 3x faster than any of the predictions.

Cary Sedai
08-06-2008, 10:59 AM
I wish MoL is written 3x faster than any of the predictions.

~refuses to corrupt this wish, turns RS into a toad instead~

Brita: That's cheating!

I wish it would rain today.

Gilshalos Sedai
08-06-2008, 11:29 AM
Granted, you get Eduard's leftovers, but they stall out over Austin and hang around for a week, dumping WAY MORE rain on the Hill Country than it can handle, washing your house down the hill.


I also wish last weekend lasted longer.

Weird Harold
08-06-2008, 11:34 AM
I wish MoL is written 3x faster than any of the predictions.~refuses to corrupt this wish, turns RS into a toad instead~

Brita: That's cheating!

I wish it would rain today.

Chicken!

Brita: Granted: aMoL is completed quicker than anyone believed possible, but you leave on a business trip to Africa the week before it's released; Your plane crashes and you spend the next twenty years on a desert island in the middle of the Atlantic before you're rescued and finally get to read it.

CS: Granted: The remains of Edouardo reform right over your house and stay there until a week before aMoL is sheduled to be released -- when you leave for a business trip to Africa with Brita. :D

ETA: (Darn forget a wish foundation at work again.)

Gil, Granted: You (and the other weekenders) contract a rare condition that slows your perceptions by 10:1 so your weekends seem like they last 20 days -- your work week also lasts longer so your work week seem like it lasts 50 days.

I Wish the humidity would go back to normal for the desert.

Gilshalos Sedai
08-06-2008, 11:36 AM
I wish Wierd Harold would hit 'refresh' and post a wish.

Ivhon
08-06-2008, 12:25 PM
Granted, you get Eduard's leftovers, but they stall out over Austin and hang around for a week, dumping WAY MORE rain on the Hill Country than it can handle, washing your house down the hill.


I also wish last weekend lasted longer.

haven't gotten ONE DROP from eduard. Bright, sunny and hot today...like usual.

Cary Sedai
08-06-2008, 05:02 PM
haven't gotten ONE DROP from eduard. Bright, sunny and hot today...like usual.

I got lots of rain at my house last night, none today, though. It is cooler, though, Ivhon! It's only 95 today instead of 103! :p

StrangePackage
08-06-2008, 07:17 PM
Granted, you get Eduard's leftovers, but they stall out over Austin and hang around for a week, dumping WAY MORE rain on the Hill Country than it can handle, washing your house down the hill.


I also wish last weekend lasted longer.



I AM KAZAAM!

The weekends are now twice as long, but you get called in to work it all and get no overtime, either.

I wish I knew what John Edwards did to Terez to make her so sandy.

Matoyak
08-06-2008, 08:06 PM
I AM KAZAAM!

The weekends are now twice as long, but you get called in to work it all and get no overtime, either.

I wish I knew what John Edwards did to Terez to make her so sandy. SHAZAAAM! Wish Granted, but the horridity of the knowledge breaks your brain, turning it into a can of Campbell's (sp) Instant-mush.

I wish I could completely understand the laws or Entropy and all the laws of Physics to the point of being able to do Matrix-style physics-bending (without actually being in the Matrix [or anything similar]) Must be able to do this in real life, without harming myself or others (unless I so chose)

I wish MoL is written 3x faster than any of the predictions. I don't...that'd mean BS would have to do some sloppy-ass writing. I'd rather it take him 3 times as long, just so long as the book is kickass, I'm fine with any length, so long as I eventually get to read it.

tworiverswoman
08-06-2008, 08:12 PM
I wish I could completely understand the laws or Entropy and all the laws of Physics to the point of being able to do Matrix-style physics-bending (without actually being in the Matrix [or anything similar]) Must be able to do this in real life, without harming myself or others (unless I so chose)BOINK! Your wish is granted! You find that you can dodge spitballs and even raindrops with ease -- however, the Men in Black somehow discover your new ability and they want to "talk to you..."

I wish (I REALLY wish) I could talk my boss out of this "renovation" crap... oh, wait -- that one's already been messed up for me.

I wish.... I wish I could get PAID (and paid LOTS, to boot) to sit and chat and play Guild Wars with my friends all day.

Matoyak
08-06-2008, 09:43 PM
BOINK! Your wish is granted! You find that you can dodge spitballs and even raindrops with ease -- however, the Men in Black somehow discover your new ability and they want to "talk to you..."

I wish (I REALLY wish) I could talk my boss out of this "renovation" crap... oh, wait -- that one's already been messed up for me.

I wish.... I wish I could get PAID (and paid LOTS, to boot) to sit and chat and play Guild Wars with my friends all day. Congratulations! You get to sit and chat and play Guild Wars with your friends all day. And you get paid a helluvualot! Unfortunately, it's a helluvualot of pennies. And you are only paid once a month. Also, 1000 pennies is a helluvualot of pennies. Unfortunately, that's only something like, 100 USD? Have fun buying graceries and gas!

Nah, RS, no need to wish for that, I already am.

I wish there to never be a zombie apocalypse.

RogueSavior
08-06-2008, 09:44 PM
Matoyak wishes he was good at math.

tanaww
08-06-2008, 10:10 PM
Matoyak wishes he was good at math.

Indeed he does. And my son forgot a wish.

I wish RS had made a great wish for me to corrupt.

RogueSavior
08-06-2008, 10:19 PM
I made Matoyak's wish for him. Duh, n00b.

Matoyak
08-06-2008, 10:24 PM
I edited my post after you posted that wish for me or whatever...so the past two posts are obsolete.

tanaww
08-06-2008, 10:28 PM
And you're a cheater.

I wish Mike McCarthy wasn't a douche. Ted Thompson too. HOW DARE YOU "F" with Brett Favre? Idiots.

I wish Brett Favre got traded to Washington.

Birgitte
08-06-2008, 10:29 PM
Granted. But the Redskins still suck.

I wish Favre would've just stayed retired.

RogueSavior
08-06-2008, 10:30 PM
I wish Brett Favre got traded to Washington.

I wish my mom would stop smoking crack. *sob*

I also wish she hadn't smoked crack while pregnant with my sister.

tanaww
08-06-2008, 10:32 PM
I wish Favre would've just stayed retired.

Granted, but the Vikings hire him as QB coach, they win the SuperBowl and your brother is driven mad by you-know-who

tanaww
08-06-2008, 10:40 PM
I wish my mom would stop smoking crack. *sob*

I also wish she hadn't smoked crack while pregnant with my sister.

Granted! I quit smoking crack and the increased mental clarity means I can pwn you at everything - not just fantasy football. Say goodbye to Bracketology too, Jerkface.

Also granted: I didn't smoke crack while pregnant with her majesty and she is even more much more smarter than you than she already is. She's on scholarship to Columbia and interning at ESPN as a sideline reporter at NFL games. So you hate her.

I wish RS would make wishes that weren't lame.

Purple Dragon
08-07-2008, 05:10 PM
I wish RS would make wishes that weren't lame.

~processing...~

~Processing...~

~Out of cheese error...~

~Please restart universe...~

~wish failed to be granted under the subroutine #2145A "There can be no such thing untill Frosty the Snowman is the ruler of hell"~



i wish i was as smart as my ass

tworiverswoman
08-07-2008, 05:15 PM
i wish i was as smart as my assGranted -- you are LOADS smarter than the little burro... maybe 10 whole IQ points! ~smirks~



I wish PD wasn't going to get even with me in a horrible fashion...

Cary Sedai
08-07-2008, 05:25 PM
I wish PD wasn't going to get even with me in a horrible fashion...

Granted, he sends the fairy instead (that's me). Who lobs an FEF grenade at you.

(FEF = fully enraged fairy)

(FEF grenade = a small grenade that explodes sending a FEF after you!)

I wish my sister will forgive me, I was only following orders afterall...and nothing to say I didnt' attack you with tickles, nothing to say I did either! :p

tworiverswoman
08-07-2008, 05:34 PM
Granted, he sends the fairy instead (that's me). Who lobs an FEF grenade at you.

(FEF = fully enraged fairy)

(FEF grenade = a small grenade that explodes sending a FEF after you!)

I wish my sister will forgive me, I was only following orders afterall...and nothing to say I didnt' attack you with tickles, nothing to say I did either! :pWell, of course I forgive you. That contract gets longer every time I turn around; I'm sure yours does similarly. Nevertheless....

~contemplates corruption...~

Nope -- can't corrupt it. Just ... can't

I wish I could think of something MARVELOUSLY evil to do to get even with the dragon... Hmmm -- maybe reveal his cookie recipes... no -- too awful. I'll think of something.

Birgitte
08-07-2008, 07:50 PM
Granted. You think of loads of evil things to do to PD. However, you are unable to do them without both you and Cary feeling the results.

I wish RS would give me back Equilibrium and Holy Grail. Movie stealer.

Anaiya Sedai
08-07-2008, 08:09 PM
granted. he gives them back to you. but they don't work anymore.

I wish my friends could stop bitching at each other and just be nice for once.

RogueSavior
08-07-2008, 08:26 PM
*poof* Your friends can no longer talk, and are placed in a home where they are heavily medicated so that the only feelings they have are 'happy thoughts.'

I wish my sister would remember that the trade we negotiated had me keeping possession of Equilibrium. Darn forgetful lady. I think it's the Crackbaby syndrome.

Anaiya Sedai
08-08-2008, 06:41 AM
*poof* Your friends can no longer talk, and are placed in a home where they are heavily medicated so that the only feelings they have are 'happy thoughts.'

I wish my sister would remember that the trade we negotiated had me keeping possession of Equilibrium. Darn forgetful lady. I think it's the Crackbaby syndrome.


fine by me, at least it stops the bickering.

granted. But the memory modification also caused some short-circuit in her brain, which now makes her much smarter and better at everything than you. not knowing there has been a memory modification, your mother takes all the DVDs away from you and gives them to your sister, because she thinks they make you dumb. :D


I wish that bump on my head wouldn't hurt so much.

Gilshalos Sedai
08-08-2008, 07:55 AM
Um... RS... in what universe would your sister give away a Christian Bale movie?

I wish that bump on my head wouldn't hurt so much.

Granted. You now stub your toe badly and the pain is worse than that of your head.


I wish I could be asleep right now.

Realnow
08-08-2008, 08:47 AM
I wish I could be asleep right now.

You fall asleep and never wake up!

I wish every Toronto sports team wasn't a failure.

StrangePackage
08-08-2008, 09:14 AM
You fall asleep and never wake up!

I wish every Toronto sports team wasn't a failure.


*crosses his arms, blinks and nods his head* Congratulatoins. Toronto now boasts and exceptional Curling team. They're the envy of the Curling world! Such as it is.

I wish that I had phenomenal cosmic power!

Gilshalos Sedai
08-08-2008, 09:19 AM
Granted, but you get an itty bitty living space to go with it and have to pop out everytime somebody rubs it and grant the jackass three wishes. (Hey, sometimes it pays to go with the obvious.)


I wish we get to go home early today.

Anaiya Sedai
08-08-2008, 09:23 AM
granted. but your home got raided by angry gerbils, which are now nesting everywhere.

I wish I had looked at the butter before I put it on my jam toast, and not chosen garlic butter... (ewww)

Birgitte
08-08-2008, 11:12 AM
Granted. You grabbed the right butter. Unfortunately, you grabbed the wrong kind of bread and garlic bread makes it just as disgusting.

I wish RS would remember that the whole trade deal is waiting on him sending me Holy Grail and a couple cds.

tanaww
08-08-2008, 02:46 PM
I wish RS would remember that the whole trade deal is waiting on him sending me Holy Grail and a couple cds.

Granted. But the whole trade deal hinges on the movies' ability to entertain Alexander. If he laughs 50% of the time, you only get one of the movies, and so on... But if he laughs 100% of the time at your movies - you get BATMAN!

I wish I had a Target on post instead of a PX.

Gilshalos Sedai
08-08-2008, 03:01 PM
But, then, you end you end up having to sell your three oldest children to cover the massive debt you incurred because spending at Target is impossible to control.


I don't care about rodents invading my house, I wish I could still go home early and not use vacation time.

tanaww
08-08-2008, 03:43 PM
But, then, you end you end up having to sell your three oldest children to cover the massive debt you incurred because spending at Target is impossible to control.

Thanks. You just made my wish PERFECT!

tworiverswoman
08-08-2008, 09:09 PM
I don't care about rodents invading my house, I wish I could still go home early and not use vacation time.Granted -- you get to leave work four hours early (with pay), but you don't get home till after midnight because your car drops its transmission in the middle of the highway and strands you. It also causes all the other motorists to give you stinky looks as they crawl past it...


I wish Obama would have picked some OTHER place to give a rally instead of Ke'ehi Lagoon, which is about a quarter mile (ish) from my office. The traffic getting out of my own PARKING LOT is going to be murder...

(note -- my owner's son is an opportunist -- we've made $150 selling parking spaces for the event... -- he made the employees move their cars. To where, I'm not clear.)

DeiwosTheSkyGod
08-08-2008, 09:57 PM
I wish Obama would have picked some OTHER place to give a rally instead of Ke'ehi Lagoon, which is about a quarter mile (ish) from my office. The traffic getting out of my own PARKING LOT is going to be murder...

Granted. He picked your living room. Have fun at the rally!

I wish it would thunder tomorrow.

Weird Harold
08-08-2008, 10:14 PM
I wish it would thunder tomorrow.

Granted: Unfortunately you never hear the first peal of Thunder because the lightening bolt that caused it turned you into a crispy critter.

I wish the Olympics hadn't started two full days before the opening ceremonies were aired in the pacific time zone. :(

jason wolfbrother
08-09-2008, 04:42 AM
Granted: Unfortunately you never hear the first peal of Thunder because the lightening bolt that caused it turned you into a crispy critter.

I wish the Olympics hadn't started two full days before the opening ceremonies were aired in the pacific time zone. :(


Granted: They started two full weeks before and never aired in the Pacific Time Zone at all. Have fun watching the Survivor Marathon ;)


I wish my bed was softer yet still supportive.

StrangePackage
08-13-2008, 06:43 PM
Granted: They started two full weeks before and never aired in the Pacific Time Zone at all. Have fun watching the Survivor Marathon ;)


I wish my bed was softer yet still supportive.

Granted. Your significant other, on the other hand, is now harder and much less supportive. Enjoy spending nights with them now, sucka.

I wish this thread would come back to vibrant life!

Brita
08-13-2008, 07:16 PM
I wish this thread would come back to vibrant life!

Granted- I'm here! Need I say more?

However, the thread becomes unbelievably enthralling and we all become so addicted we miss the release of aMoL as we re-hash the same wishes and corruptions over and over again- unable to control the urge to have the last word...must....post....corruption.....

I wish I didn't have a cold, and was in perfect health.

Matoyak
08-14-2008, 01:37 AM
As of this second, you do not have a cold, and you are in perfect health. Until the accident, of course. (It involves 18 wheelers, several things too horrible to contemplate, radiation, nuclear waste, a lead pipe, Colonel Mustard, and an untimely death for all involved)

I wish I hadn't thought up the "things too horrible to contemplate".

Birgitte
08-14-2008, 03:15 PM
Granted. In fact, you haven't thought up anything ever due to being dropped on your head repeatedly as a baby.

I wish UH would get my financial aid done and give me cheap tuition.

Gilshalos Sedai
08-14-2008, 03:18 PM
I wish UH would get my financial aid done and give me cheap tuition.

Granted: Your tuition is pretty cheap, but they nickel and dime you to poverty with fees including the Oxygen Fee, for breathing air on campus.

I wish it were Friday already.

RogueSavior
08-14-2008, 04:05 PM
Don't give the student government here any ideas, Gil.

Birgitte
08-14-2008, 04:13 PM
I've seen my current tuition bill. I think they already are.

And there is no corrupting that wish. lol

Cary Sedai
08-14-2008, 04:15 PM
I wish it were Friday already.

~crosses arms, nods, ponytail swings~ It is now Friday, however it is friday the 13th and you have just developed Paraskavedekatriaphobia (http://www.null-hypothesis.co.uk/science/item/strange_phobia_fear_friday_thirteenth) and you are paralysed with fear. You can't enjoy the day and you wish it was monday the 16th


I wish to win the lottery without ever having to actually play!

RogueSavior
08-14-2008, 05:51 PM
It's a Miracle! You probably went to public school, which here in Wisconsin is partly funded through lottery proceeds. "You don't have to play to win!" So, in a way, you already won the lottery, since you were surely educated on Chemistry, Physics, the Calculus, Literature, World History, and the variable wealth of knowledge available to our society! Congratulations!

I wish i had a can of Pepsi that contains real, non-diet, American-style Pepsi that never runs out.

tanaww
08-14-2008, 05:54 PM
I wish i had a can of Pepsi that contains real, non-diet, American-style Pepsi that never runs out.

Congratulations. Your new awesome bottomless Pepsi means you're spending the majority of your day in the bathroom. Nicely done. At least you're hydrated.

I wish that the Badgers would win national titles this year in Football, Men's and Women's Basketball and Hockey.