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View Full Version : I'm starting to think about poisoning my roommate (not really, for all you lawyers..)


fdsaf3
01-09-2012, 10:26 PM
What a douche.

There's a long (long) string of issues behind this one, but it's really the tipping point for me. I'm planning on asking him to find a sublet and move out, or else I will.

What's caused this most recent blow up? What could possibly be such a big deal that I (one of the most nonviolent people you'd ever meet) seriously thought about punching my roommate in the face earlier this evening?

Dishes in the sink.

Let me explain a bit.

I own 95% of the communal furniture used in the apartment. I was working professionally full-time after I graduated in 2007, so I was earning some decent money. Since I had nothing when I first started work, I had to buy a couch, TV, dining room table, etc. As I said, I own 95% of everything we share in the apartment, including the dishes and cooking pots and pans.

My roommate is a fucking slob. There's no other way to say it. He's literally (I know I'm upset, but I mean literally in the literal sense) never cleaned anything in the apartment since he moved in seven months ago. Whenever the bathroom has gotten cleaned, I have done it. This is despite me asking him to do it dozens of times.

As you might imagine (or glean from other posts I've made here), I hate his guts and I hope he dies.

He had some friends over for New Year's and they used some dishes. Not a big deal, right? It's now been 9 days, and still they are sitting in the sink. I asked him last Monday to wash them and he said he'd get around to it. He didn't. I was out of the apartment for most of last weekend, and I didn't see him until tonight. I asked him *again* to wash the dishes, and he blew up at me. He said that if I wanted clean dishes then I should just wash them myself. He also told me that he was going to do it when he was going to do it, and that it wasn't up to me to determine when he cleans up.

I've had it.

I don't need arguments from you guys to tell me what I should be saying to this guy. He's too immature to worry about logic at this point.

I don't need commiseration. It's nice, but at the end of the day it doesn't really accomplish anything.

I'm just looking to vent (sorry - it's totally unproductive, and I know that), but also some tips on how you guys have dealt with awful roommates in your lives. I hate the fact that I have to live my life dealing with this shit. It's just one more thing that I shouldn't have to deal with, and it sucks.

confused at birth
01-09-2012, 10:44 PM
seriously thought about punching my roommate in the face earlier this evening?


this is strange was thinking the same thing when I logged in tonight.

did chores all day then had class til 10, get home he is out with his girlfriend and the place is a mess.

got the place clean started my dinner went out to grab a movie get back he is lying on the couch with the TV on full blast while texting and then asks whats for dinner.

I am sure there is a douchebag clause that makes it justifiable homicide and if not there should be

Ivhon
01-09-2012, 11:14 PM
It is this precise reason that I never shared a dorm room/apartment/house until I got married.

Although, I must confess that I was an utter and complete slob and therefore this stance was to protect any potential room-mates from having to go through what you are going through now.

Sorry you are having to put up with this.

fdsaf3
01-09-2012, 11:26 PM
I know some people get lonely living alone, but it's so much better than putting up with jackasses like my current roommate.

But then my previous roommate and I were perfect roommates. Totally great arrangement. I miss that.

yks 6nnetu hing
01-10-2012, 01:54 AM
I'm just looking to vent (sorry - it's totally unproductive, and I know that), but also some tips on how you guys have dealt with awful roommates in your lives. I hate the fact that I have to live my life dealing with this shit. It's just one more thing that I shouldn't have to deal with, and it sucks.it's not unproductive. It's healthy to vent, otherwise you bottle everything up and then one day really might punch (or poison) the guy.

good luck!

DaiShan1981
01-10-2012, 06:51 AM
+1 to venting!
Give him a nice kick in the sensitive bits on the way out!
And good luck with dealing with the practical side of that mess.

Sei'taer
01-10-2012, 07:48 AM
I had college roommates, luckily, I got along with both of them. otherwise I stayed away from roommates even though it killed me financially.

Davian93
01-10-2012, 07:58 AM
The best way to end a friendship is to be roommates with said friend.

Good luck with that.

yks 6nnetu hing
01-10-2012, 08:03 AM
The best way to end a friendship is to be roommates with said friend.

Good luck with that.

the second best way is to get a friend a job in your company.

Khoram
01-10-2012, 09:26 AM
the second best way is to get a friend a job in your company.

... who then gets promoted over you, instead of the other way around. :mad:

confused at birth
01-10-2012, 12:13 PM
... who then gets promoted over you, instead of the other way around.

had this happen with my father when he got me a job where he worked and wnet on a month lond work trip. By the time he came back the old boss had left and they had put me in charge of the team and it had gone so well they didnt see the point of changing anything.

what a bitch:D


worst thng about my roommate is having different timetables, living with someone who gets up at 6 when you are out til 4 sometimes does make you consider slamming their head in the dishwasher door when they are loudly emptying the whole bloody thing when looking for 1 spoon for breakfast

SauceyBlueConfetti
01-10-2012, 12:20 PM
Remove all but one place setting of utensils and plates, and hide/toss all paper stuff. Wash your own, then put them in your room. I did that to a roomie in college. She got the point.



oh, and don't get married :p:p

Poison only works if you have the super top secret stuff. Or it looks truly accidental.

confused at birth
01-10-2012, 12:36 PM
Remove all but one place setting of utensils and plates, and hide/toss all paper stuff. Wash your own, then put them in your room.

No I just set his homepage to a gay porn site and cranked up the volume knowing he was taking his laptop to girlfriends house today.:D

did something similar last year, he is from a very strict family and didnt get his first kiss til last year and didnt know what victoria's secret was. sent him an email with pics of the angels and a couple of random pornstars just to see who he was into and he picked a pornstar.

when he went home for christmas I sent him her complete works on DVD and a DVD version of the Kama Sutra. apparently his mothers face was an unusual colour for about an hour.


Never figured out why rental apps dont ask if you are an arsehol or not because I am more than willing to admit it.


Poison only works if you have the super top secret stuff. Or it looks truly accidental.

Or you know how to make chemicals the dont normally look for but where I live has rattlesnakes in the woods and is only a 40 minute drive from some 10ft alligators


oh, and don't get married

But,but aww dammit fine

Sukoto
01-10-2012, 01:00 PM
oh, and don't get married :p:p

Seriously. If you can't handle a messy roommate, you're not ready to handle a spouse.

Dishes in the sink for 9 days? Yeah, I get it, it's a long time, but pestering your roommate is NOT going to get you what you want, as I'm sure you have learned. The only workable solution here is to find a new living situation. You probably should have done that a long time ago. And you probably ought to try living alone for a while. Good luck!

Davian93
01-10-2012, 01:04 PM
I agree with SBC's suggestion of cleaning the dishes and then locking them up in your room.

Either he takes the hint or he doesnt dirty dishes up regardless.

And then just wait out the lease of course.

Sei'taer
01-10-2012, 02:08 PM
I'm too mean and backstabbing. If you don't listen when I tell you to your face, then you'll listen when I get you some other way, and it's going to be ten times more unpleasant.


We had a guy on one of the rigs I worked on that would steal your snacks and you lunches and stuff. He did it to everyone and even when he go challenged on it, he blew it off and kept doing it. One day I fixed up a huge dagwood, bacon, ham, turkey, lettuce, tomatoes pickles, the works. This things a couple of inches thick and looked frigging awesome. I got some mayo, mixed it up with ipecac and spread it really thick on the bread, so it was hanging out the sides of the sandwich. I put it in the fridge in the breakroom on deck with my name all over it.

I didn't know that ipecac was pretty much instant puke inducer. They said he was about three bites into when the vomiting began. He never stole my food again...I think he pretty much stayed away from everyones food after that.

confused at birth
01-10-2012, 02:15 PM
Nice, well evil but NIIICE

still we could be worse off bad roommates are better than earthquakes
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-16497747
but I would take an earthquake over dirty socks on the couch

One day I fixed up a huge dagwood

what is a dagwood?

Sei'taer
01-10-2012, 02:18 PM
Nice, well evil but NIIICE

still we could be worse off bad roommates are better than earthquakes
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-16497747
but Iwouls take an earthquake over dirty socks on the couch



what is a dagwood?

Dagwood.

http://www.tinynewyorkkitchen.com/files/2011/04/Dagwood-Sandwich-2.jpg

confused at birth
01-10-2012, 02:21 PM
and how exactly do you eat that?

thanks for quoting me before I could fix the typos people dont normally reply that fast so I have time to fix them

I are stupid

Davian93
01-10-2012, 02:22 PM
Not that I would ever do this but when I was deployed in Bosnia, we used to get harassed by the gypsies alot and they'd try to steal from us all the time so "some guys I knew" in the unit decided to make up a batch of "gypsy brownies" to give to the kids the next time we went downtown on a patrol. These special brownies had a bunch of "colon-blow" type stuff in them. Basically, we never got harassed by gypsy kids again.

confused at birth
01-10-2012, 02:33 PM
we never got harassed by gypsy kids again.

did that really work?

we has problems with gypsies(well pikeys) where I lived in england for years until they picked the wrong camping site. dont camp under a bridge after pissing off the local gangs, they moved onto the site in the morning and that night there was 50 pissed off chavs throwing bricks off the bridge at the caravans.

the police just watched for a while but stopped it to make sure it didnt turn into a shootout.
for some reason they left the next day but they came back the next year

Khoram
01-10-2012, 02:35 PM
One day I fixed up a huge dagwood

Not to be confused with grilled cheese. :rolleyes:

Sei'taer
01-10-2012, 03:32 PM
Not to be confused with grilled cheese. :rolleyes:

Definitely not.

yks 6nnetu hing
01-10-2012, 03:38 PM
had this happen with my father when he got me a job where he worked and wnet on a month lond work trip. By the time he came back the old boss had left and they had put me in charge of the team and it had gone so well they didnt see the point of changing anything.

what a bitch:D


worst thng about my roommate is having different timetables, living with someone who gets up at 6 when you are out til 4 sometimes does make you consider slamming their head in the dishwasher door when they are loudly emptying the whole bloody thing when looking for 1 spoon for breakfast
Well' what normally happens is that you find out they're lazy, stupid, insanely chatty or brownnosing the crazy boss. You just don't want to know that about your friends.

fdsaf3
01-10-2012, 04:42 PM
Seriously. If you can't handle a messy roommate, you're not ready to handle a spouse.



It's not that he's messy, it's that he's the single most selfish and inconsiderate person I've ever met. Ever. I am not saying this for dramatic effect, I mean it literally.

Dishes in the sink for 9 days? Yeah, I get it, it's a long time, but pestering your roommate is NOT going to get you what you want, as I'm sure you have learned.

I'm guessing you didn't bother to read the thread, or at least read my first post in depth, because I'm pretty sure I explained this. The dishes aren't the only thing wrong here. This is simply the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. I am by no means a clean freak, but if by "pestering" you mean asking him to clean up after himself? Then yep, you're right, "pestering" him won't get me what I want.

The only workable solution here is to find a new living situation. You probably should have done that a long time ago. And you probably ought to try living alone for a while. Good luck!

Read the fucking thread. Don't offer me advice when you don't bother to read what I've written.

Sukoto
01-10-2012, 04:57 PM
It's not that he's messy, it's that he's the single most selfish and inconsiderate person I've ever met. Ever. I am not saying this for dramatic effect, I mean it literally.



I'm guessing you didn't bother to read the thread, or at least read my first post in depth, because I'm pretty sure I explained this. The dishes aren't the only thing wrong here. This is simply the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. I am by no means a clean freak, but if by "pestering" you mean asking him to clean up after himself? Then yep, you're right, "pestering" him won't get me what I want.



Read the fucking thread. Don't offer me advice when you don't bother to read what I've written.
Dude, chill. I did read your entire rant before giving you advice. I probably had more roommates during my college years than you will ever have in your lifetime. All the things you claim about your roommate, I've been there. You are upset. Go have a drink and relax. Then move out of your apartment.

Zaela Sedai
01-10-2012, 06:53 PM
My"roommate" aka husband used to leave out food in bowls all the time. I get bowls being left out... but they better be empty. So after months of yelling at him to put the effing bowls in the sink I just left the bowl out.... for a week. It had a nice little colony of something growing in it. Blue and gray and fuzzy, and honestly starting to look like a new pet for me.

One day he noticed it and was like

Him: "WTF is THIS"
Me: "I think that is your soup from last night"
Him: "why is it disgusting"
Me: "Because you left it there for a week"
Him: "You didnt just throw it in the sink?"
Me: "No, did you?"
Him ~ picks up bowl and washes out in the sink muttering "this is disgusting" ~

He hasn't left food filled crap all over the house since :D

Ivhon
01-10-2012, 07:32 PM
My"roommate" aka husband used to leave out food in bowls all the time. I get bowls being left out... but they better be empty. So after months of yelling at him to put the effing bowls in the sink I just left the bowl out.... for a week. It had a nice little colony of something growing in it. Blue and gray and fuzzy, and honestly starting to look like a new pet for me.

One day he noticed it and was like

Him: "WTF is THIS"
Me: "I think that is your soup from last night"
Him: "why is it disgusting"
Me: "Because you left it there for a week"
Him: "You didnt just throw it in the sink?"
Me: "No, did you?"
Him ~ picks up bowl and washes out in the sink muttering "this is disgusting" ~

He hasn't left food filled crap all over the house since :D

Family therapist kitty loves this.

Khoram
01-10-2012, 07:43 PM
My"roommate" aka husband used to leave out food in bowls all the time. I get bowls being left out... but they better be empty. So after months of yelling at him to put the effing bowls in the sink I just left the bowl out.... for a week. It had a nice little colony of something growing in it. Blue and gray and fuzzy, and honestly starting to look like a new pet for me.

One day he noticed it and was like

Him: "WTF is THIS"
Me: "I think that is your soup from last night"
Him: "why is it disgusting"
Me: "Because you left it there for a week"
Him: "You didnt just throw it in the sink?"
Me: "No, did you?"
Him ~ picks up bowl and washes out in the sink muttering "this is disgusting" ~

He hasn't left food filled crap all over the house since :D

Why would you let him throw away your new pet!? :eek: That's cruel! :(

Zaela Sedai
01-11-2012, 08:10 AM
Why would you let him throw away your new pet!? :eek: That's cruel! :(


Well, it wasn't very entertaining...and was getting kind of stinky....

Figbiscuit
01-11-2012, 09:18 AM
My"roommate" aka husband used to leave out food in bowls all the time. I get bowls being left out... but they better be empty. So after months of yelling at him to put the effing bowls in the sink I just left the bowl out.... for a week. It had a nice little colony of something growing in it. Blue and gray and fuzzy, and honestly starting to look like a new pet for me.

One day he noticed it and was like

Him: "WTF is THIS"
Me: "I think that is your soup from last night"
Him: "why is it disgusting"
Me: "Because you left it there for a week"
Him: "You didnt just throw it in the sink?"
Me: "No, did you?"
Him ~ picks up bowl and washes out in the sink muttering "this is disgusting" ~

He hasn't left food filled crap all over the house since :D

I likes :D I find show and tell a much more effective method of getting my point across than nagging. My fella lived with his parents before we moved in together. I love his mother very much, but my god I don't think she ever expected him to do ANYTHING! In the early days we had more than one conversation along the lines of 'Well, if that's how your mum did it, you can always go live back with her any time you like...' Thankfully we don't need to have those conversations anymore :D

In terms of your paticular problem tho fd, I know you aren't looking for advice, but I used to house-share with 3 friends. After about a year of two of us doing the majority of the housework and two doing basically nothing, we set up a cleaning rota. A communal room a week each. It worked. Might be worth thinking about if you are going to share again.

SauceyBlueConfetti
01-11-2012, 09:29 AM
My husband cannot fold towels. My comment is random :p:p:p:p:p:p (aaaah, I crack myself up!) but I don't understand this particular disability and thought this might be a good forum to discuss. Is the folding laundry issue a "man" thing?

The dirty dish thing crosses over gender lines I have found. Is there a "woman" thing we all could work on for you boys?

yks 6nnetu hing
01-11-2012, 09:35 AM
The dirty dish thing crosses over gender lines I have found. Is there a "woman" thing we all could work on for you boys?

Dai and I have an agreement that if at all possible, I will not touch (dirty) dishes. I just don't like doing dishes, possibly because of those few months I worked as a dishwasher in a restaurant... hate it.

as for "woman" thing, I think it might have to do with the amount of cosmetics, including but not limited to lotions, potions, perfumes, gels, sprays, creams, polishers, conditioners, powders and bits of cotton found in the bathroom...

Davian93
01-11-2012, 09:39 AM
My husband cannot fold towels. My comment is random :p:p:p:p:p:p (aaaah, I crack myself up!) but I don't understand this particular disability and thought this might be a good forum to discuss. Is the folding laundry issue a "man" thing?

The dirty dish thing crosses over gender lines I have found. Is there a "woman" thing we all could work on for you boys?

Umm...stop being so darned wonderful?


Seriously though, not everything has to be squared and put in an exact order...just my books. Dont mess with my books and the order I have them in. I put them in a very specific order so I could always find them...when "you" cleaned up the stack by my nightstand, they just got randomly tossed on open shelf space with history books next to GGK books next to WoT books...AHAHAAHHH!!!!

Oh, and I will get to the items on that honey do list in the order I have pre-determined. Right now I'm finishing that bedframe and after that is the cabinet sanding...it might be a while until I get around to hanging those shelves. Deep down, I'm a very lazy person.

Sei'taer
01-11-2012, 10:21 AM
My husband cannot fold towels. My comment is random :p:p:p:p:p:p (aaaah, I crack myself up!) but I don't understand this particular disability and thought this might be a good forum to discuss. Is the folding laundry issue a "man" thing?

The dirty dish thing crosses over gender lines I have found. Is there a "woman" thing we all could work on for you boys?

I would rather clean the fucking nasty bathroom than fold clothes. I hate folding clothes of any sort. My wife has to have shirts folded in a very specific way so they will fit in the drawer correctly. I also don't see any reason to fold underwear. Why do I need to fold it? I just throw it in the drawer. Not womens undies, they have to be folded, even though they are an eighth the size (or smaller) of mens. Gimme a break.

My wife is a list maker. God I fucking hate lists of shit that need to be done. Hate it. I'll fucking figure it out on my own. I don't need a list to tell me what to do.

GonzoTheGreat
01-11-2012, 10:28 AM
All right, how-to-deal-with-Sei-list:
1. Give him a break.
2. Don't make lists.

Pretty simple, apart from the inbuilt inconsistency.

SauceyBlueConfetti
01-11-2012, 10:28 AM
My wife has to have shirts folded in a very specific way so they will fit in the drawer correctly.

Yes, I wasn't clear, your wife gets it though. My husband CAN fold towels, he just cannot fold them CORRECTLY :D

Zombie Sammael
01-11-2012, 10:41 AM
On a related note, one thing that drives me crazy is people who insist upon pairing all of their socks. Why bother? Why waste the time? IT DOESN'T MATTER. No-one cares if you wear odd socks. No-one even notices unless you're not wearing shoes. I'd put folding towels correctly" under a similar category of "complete wastes of time", along with "folding underwear", but I do think other clothes should be folded neatly, or placed on a hanger.

Terez
01-11-2012, 11:02 AM
I lived with a guy for a while who bitched about me pairing his socks. It must be a guy thing. Also, we make lists because you guys are continually making the excuse of 'I forgot'.

Zombie Sammael
01-11-2012, 11:03 AM
Mind you, I have been brainwashed by mother into ironing my jeans, so what do I know?

Davian93
01-11-2012, 11:05 AM
On a related note, one thing that drives me crazy is people who insist upon pairing all of their socks. Why bother? Why waste the time? IT DOESN'T MATTER. No-one cares if you wear odd socks. No-one even notices unless you're not wearing shoes. I'd put folding towels correctly" under a similar category of "complete wastes of time", along with "folding underwear", but I do think other clothes should be folded neatly, or placed on a hanger.

Some of us actually like to wear matching socks...also, people tend to notice things like that in an office environment and you look like a loony if you have 1 brown, 1 black sock or other mismatched issues.

Whats the big deal with matching socks?

Khoram
01-11-2012, 11:34 AM
The only time I feel like I can get away with wearing mismatched socks is when they are relatively similar in colour or design - I won't wear a black and white sock together, or beige and grey. I find it unsightly.

Besides, my running socks absolutely have to go together, as do my baseball socks and dress socks.

And don't get me started on people who wear white socks with dress pants and dress shoes! The only way that could pass is if they were wearing white pants and white shoes.

Davian93
01-11-2012, 11:36 AM
The only time I feel like I can get away with wearing mismatched socks is when they are relatively similar in colour or design - I won't wear a black and white sock together, or beige and grey. I find it unsightly.

Besides, my running socks absolutely have to go together, as do my baseball socks and dress socks.

And don't get me started on people who wear white socks with dress pants and dress shoes! The only way that could pass is if they were wearing white pants and white shoes.

The only people allowed to wear white socks with dress pants/shoes are retired men over the age of 65...they are also allowed to wear military service ballcaps and sneakers with this ensemble...regardless of what they are doing. In addition, in this outfit, they can mercilessly hit on younger women and this is socially acceptable because they're old and "grandpa like".

Khoram
01-11-2012, 11:42 AM
The only people allowed to wear white socks with dress pants/shoes are retired men over the age of 65.

Try telling that to the guys I went to high school with. We had to wear suits to school every day, and most of them would wear white socks - it was a dress code violation, but I don't know of many people getting reprimanded for it.

I must admit, and I'm not happy to admit it, either, that I have done it once or twice, when I didn't have any clean dress socks in my drawer. I should have gone with the slightly used dress socks, instead.

Sei'taer
01-11-2012, 12:02 PM
Some of us actually like to wear matching socks...also, people tend to notice things like that in an office environment and you look like a loony if you have 1 brown, 1 black sock or other mismatched issues.

Whats the big deal with matching socks?


Yeah, I have to match my socks. I don't iron anything, I flat fucking refuse. If my wife doesn't like that it's a little bit wrinkled then she irons it. I don't give two shits one way or the other. I can't even imagine why somebody would iron jeans? It's a deeply ingrained redneck thing down here that I refuse to do (ZS is evidently a redneck). I like my jeans soft and worn in and not with a pointy uncomfortable crease in them.

Two years ago, I was visiting my Mom and she wanted me to go to church with her (which is funny because she is a super psycho liberal, but she's in church constantly...when she's not going to services or choir practice, she works at them) and the only clothes I had to wear had been in my suitcase for a few days. She made me go upstairs and take them off and bring them back to her so she could iron them because I wasn't going to church looking like a bomb went off in my closet. Pops also likes his stuff ironed and irons everything himself. I guess I'm just lazy and don't think it's that big a deal.

My wife also doesn't understand that jeans are made to wear a couple of days before you wash them. It makes them even more comfortable when they've got a couple of days on 'em.

Davian93
01-11-2012, 12:07 PM
Ironing jeans is ridiculous.

confused at birth
01-11-2012, 12:43 PM
Is there a "woman" thing we all could work on for you boys?


how about not nagging to get a job done unless it not being done is actually causing you a problem.
it will take 30 minutes I have been busy all day let me watch the TV for an hour in peace, I have a plan I am going to do it leave me ALONE.
Once I have gotten tired of being nagged dont then stick your arse on the couch eat candy and change the channel

Ironing jeans is ridiculous.

Ironing anything that doesnt have to be ironed is ridiculus

Davian93
01-11-2012, 12:45 PM
Another annoying thing: Getting hit up to do something the moment I walk in the door after being at work for 10 hours. Seriously, just give me 5-10 min to take my shoes off, change into non-work clothes and unwind.

Terez
01-11-2012, 12:49 PM
Yeah, I have to match my socks. I don't iron anything, I flat fucking refuse. If my wife doesn't like that it's a little bit wrinkled then she irons it. I don't give two shits one way or the other. I can't even imagine why somebody would iron jeans? It's a deeply ingrained redneck thing down here that I refuse to do (ZS is evidently a redneck). I like my jeans soft and worn in and not with a pointy uncomfortable crease in them.I refuse to buy clothes that require ironing. I haven't ironed anything in a decade, not counting one time when I bought some sheets that got so crazy wrinkled that I felt I had no choice but to iron them. And then I bought some different sheets.

My wife also doesn't understand that jeans are made to wear a couple of days before you wash them. It makes them even more comfortable when they've got a couple of days on 'em.
Ah, now that might be a girl thing. Um...I can wear mine a couple of days. Definitely not three.

Davian93
01-11-2012, 12:53 PM
I'd say jeans have at least 3-4 days of wear in them between washings in the winter and maybe 1-2 days in hotter weather.

I agree with Taer though that jeans are best when they've been broken in a couple days.

EDIT: I'm impressed that we've been able to derail a thread about poisoning one's roommate into a discussion on whether or not to wash jeans every day.

SauceyBlueConfetti
01-11-2012, 01:02 PM
EDIT: I'm impressed that we've been able to derail a thread about poisoning one's roommate into a discussion on whether or not to wash jeans every day.

BECAUSE I AM RANDOM :p:p:p:p:p

confused at birth
01-11-2012, 01:08 PM
Is there a "woman" thing we all could work on for you boys?


I have a few more of these I lived with two girls for a year:D

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:


how about you have your own so never ever use my razor. I know where you shave, I know the some of places thats been and if I wanted to rub that on my face you would know.
The blades cost a lot of money and I am not spending $10 every few weeks for you to clean up something I only see when you forget that you arent wearing anything under that XXL T-shirt at breakfast.


never just expect me to help you dont get angry because I cannot read minds, ask for my help with a project dont get pissed because I think you are capable of completing a simple task without having a full mental breakdown.


You know we only have 2 bathrooms, you know its going to take you an hour to get ready(dont really know what they are doing or why it takes so long), I can get out of bed, shave, brush my teeth, shower and get dressed in 20 minutes let me go first.
why do they need to put on makeup everyday anyway?:confused:
they are in their 20s they still look great without it so why bother just for going to class?:confused:


Why do they do these terrible things?

Davian93
01-11-2012, 01:11 PM
You know we only have 2 bathrooms, you know its going to take you an hour to get ready(dont really know what they are doing or why it takes so long),

From what I understand of the issue, most of the times, when there are no guys around, girls tend to dress up in sexy lingerie and have tickle/pillow fights that lead into girl on girl experimentation. This is what takes them so long in the bathroom.



On the razor thing...EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

confused at birth
01-11-2012, 01:19 PM
On the razor thing...EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

I KNOOOOOOOOOWWWW:eek:

I just dont get why she used mine, there are all those stupis ads for womens razors why did they use mine.:confused:

those ads are always saying that they have stuff added to make them better so why did she wanted to use my mach 3?

you never want to get to where you hope that it is just razor burn:D

Khoram
01-11-2012, 01:24 PM
I KNOOOOOOOOOWWWW:eek:

I just dont get why she used mine, there are all those stupis ads for womens razors why did they use mine.:confused:

those ads are always saying that they have stuff added to make them better so why did she wanted to use my mach 3?

you never want to get to where you hope that it is just razor burn:D

*shudder* I don't even want to think about it. Luckily, I haven't had to worry about that... that I know of...

Thanks a lot, guys. :mad:

confused at birth
01-11-2012, 01:36 PM
I dont know if they both used it in ways that I wouldnt want to know about but I know that they both would "borrow" it whenever they wanted.:mad:

I dont think one of them did anything to bad with it because she had the master bedroom and her own bathroom.
Plus I never got to see her naked so I dont know what she might have used it for:(

They called borrowing I didnt because I ditched the blade if I saw it left out because I always put it back in my draw when I used it

Davian93
01-11-2012, 01:38 PM
I'd ditch it too...some pretty nasty things can be spread like that...razor cuts her, gets blood on it, you then shave afterward, cut yourself, etc etc.


EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

confused at birth
01-11-2012, 01:52 PM
I did try a prank on her the first time I noticed she had used it asking her if she knew all the places it had been. but I sleep in the nuddy and dont always bother to put something on if I think its early in the morning and I am just going to the bathroom.
It wasnt always early in the morning so she knew I was bluffing.

Dont get me wrong living with girls was great well most of the time. :rolleyes:
You lot are like nice warm cushions that smell pretty and have boobs. :D
This makes you great to curl up with on the couch/bed to watch a movie with I just think you should need a permit and supervisor to use the bathroom or my kitchen

Sei'taer
01-11-2012, 01:55 PM
I'd ditch it too...some pretty nasty things can be spread like that...razor cuts her, gets blood on it, you then shave afterward, cut yourself, etc etc.


EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

Some things just aren't for sharing.

1. Toothbrush
2. Razor
3. My beer
4. My beer
etc

SauceyBlueConfetti
01-11-2012, 02:08 PM
I am just thinking that the title of this thread is amusing. He wants to make sure that lawyers know he isn't seriously going to poison the roomie, but not concerned with law enforcement or the rest of us peons of society :p

confused at birth
01-11-2012, 02:08 PM
Some things just aren't for sharing.

1. Toothbrush
2. Razor
3. My beer
4. My beer


also things that will not be shared=

My fries :mad:
My remote :mad:
My m&ms :mad:
My computer :D
My Phone minutes :mad:
whatever you did last night :eek:

My Toothbrush isnt as big a deal as I took the head off to stop anything getting on it during the day so you could only use it if you had your own head

No girl is now ever allowed to use my washing machine. I dont know why there was a little piece of metal in her load but it made a hole in the drum which was a real pain to fix

And having to unblock the drain and dealing with the stink of sewage because they had flushed what I will call several small red mice is not pleasant

Terez
01-11-2012, 02:45 PM
I am just thinking that the title of this thread is amusing. He wants to make sure that lawyers know he isn't seriously going to poison the roomie, but not concerned with law enforcement or the rest of us peons of society :pOn WoT discussion, fdsaf is intimidated by me. And Callie. Here, he's intimidated by Sini, who seems to have a hankering for tough justice.

fdsaf3
01-11-2012, 02:50 PM
I've been here for a few years and I still can't figure out the sense of humor. I'm not intimidated by Sini - I think he's a nice guy with a heart of gold who pretends to be an old grouch on the internet.............

But seriously, the thread title is a function of my sense of humor more than anything else. But feel free to interpret it any way you wish.

Edit:

My girlfriend spent the night last Friday (a very rare occurrence, but we only live a block apart), and she used *my* toothbrush instead of going home and using hers. I told her to keep it or throw it out because I needed a new one. She doesn't get offended...ever, really, but that got to her a little bit.

Sorry, but kissing you is not the same as using your toothbrush.

Sei'taer
01-11-2012, 03:03 PM
I've been here for a few years and I still can't figure out the sense of humor. I'm not intimidated by Sini - I think he's a nice guy with a heart of gold who pretends to be an old grouch on the internet.............

But seriously, the thread title is a function of my sense of humor more than anything else. But feel free to interpret it any way you wish.

Edit:

My girlfriend spent the night last Friday (a very rare occurrence, but we only live a block apart), and she used *my* toothbrush instead of going home and using hers. I told her to keep it or throw it out because I needed a new one. She doesn't get offended...ever, really, but that got to her a little bit.

Sorry, but kissing you is not the same as using your toothbrush.

"I don't want your gingivitis, Darling." It's a country song, surely you've heard it?

Terez
01-11-2012, 03:03 PM
I've been here for a few years and I still can't figure out the sense of humor.It's like Aiel humor.

I'm not intimidated by Sini - I think he's a nice guy with a heart of gold who pretends to be an old grouch on the internet.............I think he's an actual grouch with a heart of mostly gold. ;)

Sukoto
01-11-2012, 03:05 PM
Is there a "woman" thing we all could work on for you boys?
Make up your mind.

Sei'taer
01-11-2012, 03:07 PM
I've been here for a few years and I still can't figure out the sense of humor. I'm not intimidated by Sini - I think he's a nice guy with a heart of gold who pretends to be an old grouch on the internet.............




At least I don't have to play Warlight against him. After this last run, I'm thinking maybe I'm not very good at it, I'm just good at retreating in an orderly fashion.

Davian93
01-11-2012, 03:08 PM
It's like Aiel humor.

I think he's an actual grouch with a heart of mostly gold. ;)

Surely it was about the water...was the water important?

Davian93
01-11-2012, 03:12 PM
At least I don't have to play Warlight against him. After this last run, I'm thinking maybe I'm not very good at it, I'm just good at retreating in an orderly fashion.

You should take pride in 2nd place...

confused at birth
01-11-2012, 03:17 PM
I told her to keep it or throw it out because I needed a new one.

so do you get rid of everything that has gone to the back of her mouth? :p

she will get to keep it if you break up anyway so...

Crispin's Crispian
01-11-2012, 03:21 PM
I guess I should consider myself lucky, or just experienced. No razor or toothbrush sharing, and neither of us leaves anything out for the other to pick up. At least not that either of us really cares about. It only becomes a problem when one of us gets lazy (ahem...) and stops doing things that the other does. That laundry's not going to wash itself.

Apparently her only pet peeve with me is when I use all the peanut butter in the morning but don't have 20 impossible minutes to clean out the jar before recycling it. So I fill it up with soapy water and soak it till I get home. Apparently she hates coming home from work to find this.

Oh also, for the record, I:

-iron my own clothes, but usually just for work;

-pair my socks, because (a) I need to separate running socks from others, and (b) it's easier not to lose them that way;

-do the dishes more often, but not unreasonably so;

-don't iron jeans. I've tried before, mainly because my dresser turns jeans into wads of creased canvas, but it doesn't work anyway. Plus, it would be humiliating to admit that I do it now. ;)

Zombie Sammael
01-11-2012, 03:33 PM
I have told my mother numerous times that only weird freaks iron jeans. She insists they look better that way. I have been brainwashed.

...she irons bedsheets.

fdsaf3
01-11-2012, 04:35 PM
I must say, this thread has gotten waaaay off topic. It's way off topic even by TL standards. I like it.

Here's how I stack up on some of the more prominent issues that have come up:

* I regularly do dishes and laundry. I don't mind doing either. In fact, no one that I know of has done my laundry for years. It's annoying, I suppose, and I usually devote an entire day to just getting it all done. But I don't mind doing it.

* I don't pair my socks, dress or otherwise, unless I'm doing something fancy like a job interview. Few of my dress socks have patterns, and they are hidden under pants most of the time anyway. Who cares?

* I've mentioned my toothbrush incident. Similarly, I don't typically use someone else's razor blade or allow mine to be used by others. It's happened, but by and large it's not something I prefer to do.

* I have never ironed anything in my entire life. It's not a gender thing (I'm a guy, in case anyone didn't know), and it's not an ineptitude thing. The true reason is that I've just never cared that much about having my clothes be wrinkle-free. I'm pretty good about hanging stuff up when it comes out of the dryer, so I guess that's the reason I've never really felt the need to bust out the iron.

* I don't think I'll ever really understand Aiel humor.

* I really like sharing beer. I keep a few in the back of my fridge at all times just in case I need one to give to someone if they stop by unexpectedly. Of course, those few usually have buddies to hang out with.

Whew. That about covers it.

Oh, and the one biggest thing that women do that bothers me is leaving towels around when they're done showering. I'm not a neat freak, I'm not a control freak, I'm really not much of any kind of freak, but is it too much to ask to put your wet towel on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of on the bed/floor/chair/random place you decide to throw it?

Edit:

And the next Warlight game I play in had better not have fog of war turned on. I hate that.

Khoram
01-11-2012, 04:35 PM
Some things just aren't for sharing.

1. Toothbrush
2. Razor
3. My beer
4. My beer
etc

On that note... where would you like me to set up the vending machine with all your beer in it? :D

Oh, and the one biggest thing that women do that bothers me is leaving towels around when they're done showering. I'm not a neat freak, I'm not a control freak, I'm really not much of any kind of freak, but is it too much to ask to put your wet towel on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of on the bed/floor/chair/random place you decide to throw it?


Wet towels on a wooden floor are the worst. It happens in my house too, where somebody's taken a shower, and then steps on the rug, letting it soak up a whole lotta water, and then the towel that they're done using ends up on top of THAT. I'm the one usually hanging up the towels to dry out - then there aren't any dry towels for me to use. :(

Edit:

And the next Warlight game I play in had better not have fog of war turned on. I hate that.

I'm not saying I like it, but that's where all the fun and mystery comes from!

confused at birth
01-11-2012, 04:54 PM
the one biggest thing that women do that bothers me is leaving towels around when they're done showering.

Why would you not hang it up that is just nasty.

when I shared a bathroom we both had a shelf each for towels and a draw for are wash stuff but even with about ten towels in the room at once they never ended up on the floor and never left the room unless someone got a call when they were in the shower

Sukoto
01-11-2012, 05:48 PM
I have told my mother numerous times that only weird freaks iron jeans. She insists they look better that way. I have been brainwashed.

...she irons bedsheets.
I once had a roommate who told me his mother even ironed his socks. He was a bit of a neat freak who left notes around the house all the time reminding us to do our cleaning. Nice guy, but annoying to live with. I was glad he switched apartments after one semester.

The Unreasoner
01-11-2012, 07:21 PM
My former roommate and I got along great, until business entered the relationship. We had a falling out when he thought I screwed him over. So he took my money and kicked me out, and I got his parents to practically disown him.

We reconciled though, easier to do once we stopped living together. He helped me out with some legal trouble, and I got him and his mom to start speaking again. We're actually friends again, and I'm working on getting his dad to forgive him.

Basically, move out, period. No passive aggressive nonsense, no whining, just end the arrangement, and make sure anyone in both of your lives takes your side.

If you really want to poison him...

Good Advice:
Lexapro

Bad Advice:
Totse

Good luck

Ivhon
01-11-2012, 07:38 PM
On a related note, one thing that drives me crazy is people who insist upon pairing all of their socks. Why bother? Why waste the time? IT DOESN'T MATTER. No-one cares if you wear odd socks. No-one even notices unless you're not wearing shoes. I'd put folding towels correctly" under a similar category of "complete wastes of time", along with "folding underwear", but I do think other clothes should be folded neatly, or placed on a hanger.

Socks are evil and should never be worn. I have not worn socks in well over 2 years.

Zaela Sedai
01-11-2012, 07:42 PM
I'd say jeans have at least 3-4 days of wear in them between washings in the winter and maybe 1-2 days in hotter weather.

I agree with Taer though that jeans are best when they've been broken in a couple days.

EDIT: I'm impressed that we've been able to derail a thread about poisoning one's roommate into a discussion on whether or not to wash jeans every day.

Completely agree. I wash them after 3 or 4 wears.


However, jeans do need to be ironed when my husband does the laundry. He does it all but piles it on top of the dryer because he doesn't know how to fold it. I only iron my jeans not his, and you don't ever put creases in jeans, that's dumb.

He does most of the laundry and I put it away. Good deal.


EDIT: also, I have to say, watching my husband attempt to iron is like watching my son trying to fit the different shapes into the right hole.

It's highly amusing when I have the time to let him try

GonzoTheGreat
01-12-2012, 04:10 AM
You know we only have 2 bathrooms, you know its going to take you an hour to get ready(dont really know what they are doing or why it takes so long), ...
You could ask them if they mind when you install a minicam, so that you can find out what all they're doing there.

Zombie Sammael
01-12-2012, 04:39 AM
I once had a roommate who told me his mother even ironed his socks. He was a bit of a neat freak who left notes around the house all the time reminding us to do our cleaning. Nice guy, but annoying to live with. I was glad he switched apartments after one semester.

I am not at all a neat freak. I tend to let my flat go to "messy" then do a massive clean up all in one fell swoop, feel happy about it for a week or so, and then it starts going messy again...

Figbiscuit
01-12-2012, 05:23 AM
I quite enjoy ironing....

although I normally put something good on TV and pour a glass of wine while I'm doing it - wine helps a lot of housework I've found. And I don't do unnecessary ironing either although I will do pillowcases, and also jeans. Which I don't put creases in, I'm not living pre-WW2 :eek:

Terez
01-12-2012, 05:27 AM
Completely agree. I wash them after 3 or 4 wears.Are those evening, after-work wears, or all-day wears? Just curious.

Mort
01-12-2012, 05:52 AM
Socks are evil and should never be worn. I have not worn socks in well over 2 years.

If you live somewhere were it is warm all the time, I kinda understand... but no, not really. Almost as weird as ironing jeans.

Ironing should only be done on dress-shirts.

Davian93
01-12-2012, 07:29 AM
Are those evening, after-work wears, or all-day wears? Just curious.

For me, it would be all day wears but then I live in VT and not on the Gulf coast...where I assume things get dirtier faster.

fdsaf3
01-12-2012, 08:52 AM
All pants have a magical property unique to them and to no other garment of clothing that they can be worn multiple times and still be (relatively) clean. Everything else gets dirty after one use. Underwear I can understand (assuming you wear any, I guess), but why do pants get a free pass? I've never understood this.

Davian93
01-12-2012, 09:01 AM
All pants have a magical property unique to them and to no other garment of clothing that they can be worn multiple times and still be (relatively) clean. Everything else gets dirty after one use. Underwear I can understand (assuming you wear any, I guess), but why do pants get a free pass? I've never understood this.

Its not just pants, sweaters and other dry-cleaning type items can be worn several times too...as long as one isn't doing aerobics in them.

As far as pants go, as long as you're wearing underwear and aren't running in them, you shouldn't be sweating in them all that much. Also, if you actually shower/wash every day, they wont get funky that fast. Shirts tend to get dirtier faster because a lot of times, you dont wear an undershirt and we have major sweat glands in our armpits that funkify shirts fairly quickly even with undershirts (regardless of whether that undershirt is a tank top or full t-shirt).

Still, in cool weather, I would say that dress shirts have at least 2 wears in them as long as you are clean/wash regularly, pants have 3-4 wears in them and things like socks/underwear/undershirts have 1 wear max...maybe 2 if you are completely desperate and dont have any other options. Any more than 2 and you are completely nasty.

Crispin's Crispian
01-12-2012, 10:33 AM
I quite enjoy ironing....

although I normally put something good on TV and pour a glass of wine while I'm doing it - wine helps a lot of housework I've found. And I don't do unnecessary ironing either although I will do pillowcases, and also jeans. Which I don't put creases in, I'm not living pre-WW2 :eek:

Creases in jeans? That's plain weird.

And wine helps with just about everything. I can think of only a couple situations where wine is not helpful. Driving, and in-depth relationship discussions with your significant other. Both are very dangerous to do under the influence.

Khoram
01-12-2012, 10:43 AM
Creases in jeans? That's plain weird.

And wine helps with just about everything. I can think of only a couple situations where wine is not helpful. Driving, and in-depth relationship discussions with your significant other. Both are very dangerous to do under the influence.

One can argue that ironing is also very dangerous to do under the influence. What if you spill your wine on the item your ironing? What then? The stain's pretty much impossible to get out.

And if you've had a little too much to drink, you might mistake the iron for the phone, and then you'd be in a whole other realm of Hurt.

fdsaf3
01-12-2012, 11:15 AM
things like socks/underwear/undershirts have 1 wear max...maybe 2 if you are completely desperate and dont have any other options.

Ok, don't judge me on this one. Promise? Ok.

When I was in college, the limiting factor on how long I could go without doing laundry was how many pairs of boxers I had. Once I ran out of clean boxers, I had to do laundry. Doing laundry in college is probably the worst part of the whole experience, so I thought I had a genius idea on how to stretch my boxer usage out and thereby extend how long I could go in between doing laundry.

The solution? Wear boxers a second time for working out.

I run 4-5 times per week, and most of the time I'll shower and put on clean boxers after I finish (the exception is if I run later in the evening; I'll just shower and go to bed at that point). I realized that this was making me go through boxers at a much faster pace than I would otherwise go through them. From a certain point of view, you might see how this makes sense.

I did try it, and it made me feel so gross. I can't even put it into words. Just...yuck.

Thinking about it now, that might be the one time when an idea I had which I thought was really good turned out to be awful. Usually there's a saving grace to an idea that prevents it from being irredeemable, but not that one.

Zaela Sedai
01-12-2012, 11:22 AM
For me, it would be all day wears but then I live in VT and not on the Gulf coast...where I assume things get dirtier faster.

Exactly, being in new England it's not like we sweat at all or anything for most of jean wearing season. But to be honest it's prolly two half day wears and two couple hour wears. I work from home full time so I rarely even get dressed lol. And when I do it's to go run.

Now running shit.... If its cold out I might wear a shirt twice.. If its only a 3 mile run or so, and only because me nor my running partner care how we smell lol. But if it's a long run WOO that's nasty lol.

Khoram
01-12-2012, 11:38 AM
Exactly, being in new England it's not like we sweat at all or anything for most of jean wearing season. But to be honest it's prolly two half day wears and two couple hour wears. I work from home full time so I rarely even get dressed lol. And when I do it's to go run.

Now running shit.... If its cold out I might wear a shirt twice.. If its only a 3 mile run or so, and only because me nor my running partner care how we smell lol. But if it's a long run WOO that's nasty lol.

Seeing as I play a lot of hockey, I am indifferent towards how bad stuff I use for working out/playing hockey smells (unless it's my brother's equipment, and he leaves his stuff in his bag, where mold can grow on it... Blegh). I air out all my clothes/equipment, which helps it a bit. I still wash my stuff, but not as often as one might think. Also, the washing machine does some weird stuff to my UnderArmour, which sucks. As long as they're dry, they're fine for me. Besides, I wear a windbreaker over my other layers, so it don't bother me. :D Not until I take it off.

Davian93
01-12-2012, 11:41 AM
I work from home full time so I rarely even get dressed lol.

Giggity.

Seeing as I play a lot of hockey, I am indifferent towards how bad stuff I use for working out/playing hockey smells

There's not much point in washing the jerseys/pants as the pads stink to high hell regardless. I used to try and go through the entire season without washing my lucky hockey pants. Yeah, hockey bags reek. I miss playing hockey.

As far as workout clothes go...I have no issues wearing workout clothes twice...usually, one day is weight lifting and the next is cardio so they get washed after the cardio day.


Also, as far as NE weather goes...I slept late one day in July last year so I missed summer.

Sei'taer
01-12-2012, 11:57 AM
There's not much point in washing the jerseys/pants as the pads stink to high hell regardless. I used to try and go through the entire season without washing my lucky hockey pants. Yeah, hockey bags reek. I miss playing hockey.

As far as workout clothes go...I have no issues wearing workout clothes twice...usually, one day is weight lifting and the next is cardio so they get washed after the cardio day.


Also, as far as NE weather goes...I slept late one day in July last year so I missed summer.

I used to do that with my soccer stuff, as long as it wasn't incredibly hot. I never could wear the socks twice though, they got sweaty and when they dried they go crusty and uncomfortable. Same with a jock, couldn't do that twice. The rest though, I would wear a few times. My shin gurads were usually nasty and smelled like hell, especially if it was really humid and hot, but there wasn't really any reason to wash them and I was going to buy new ones after the season was over anyway. Cleats usually smelled like hell too, but when I found a pair that I liked then I wore them until they were shit...even to the point of duct taping them together do I could still use them. I hated breaking in a new pair of cleats so I would make them go beyond when they were really usable.

As far as jeans go, as long as I don't sweat them up too bad, then they are getting worn again.

Ok, don't judge me on this one. Promise? Ok.

When I was in college, the limiting factor on how long I could go without doing laundry was how many pairs of boxers I had. Once I ran out of clean boxers, I had to do laundry. Doing laundry in college is probably the worst part of the whole experience, so I thought I had a genius idea on how to stretch my boxer usage out and thereby extend how long I could go in between doing laundry.

The solution? Wear boxers a second time for working out.

I run 4-5 times per week, and most of the time I'll shower and put on clean boxers after I finish (the exception is if I run later in the evening; I'll just shower and go to bed at that point). I realized that this was making me go through boxers at a much faster pace than I would otherwise go through them. From a certain point of view, you might see how this makes sense.

I did try it, and it made me feel so gross. I can't even put it into words. Just...yuck.

Thinking about it now, that might be the one time when an idea I had which I thought was really good turned out to be awful. Usually there's a saving grace to an idea that prevents it from being irredeemable, but not that one

No shame in that game. When I was in college, the first credit card I ever got was a JCPenneys card. I went and bought 33 pairs of underwear so I would only have to wash once a month. Everybody made fun of me, but it worked out great.

confused at birth
01-12-2012, 12:31 PM
You could ask them if they mind when you install a minicam, so that you can find out what all they're doing there


Well I showered with her a couple of times does that count?:D
paintball the day after 4 inches of rain was the best idea I have had so far.

She didnt lock the door because she knew she was always in there for ages and would just go in if I needed something when she was out of the shower but she hogged the sink.

What I dont get is why it took her so long to finish when she was on her own, when the door was open she could be in and out with hair and makeup done in about 30 minutes.

If she got up early she shut the door and stayed in there forever

One can argue that ironing is also very dangerous to do under the influence.

it is dangerous sober the last time I did I had the TV on and knocked the iron off onto my foot and burnt a hole in the carpet while hopping around shouting

Crispin's Crispian
01-12-2012, 12:47 PM
What I dont get is why it took her so long to finish when she was on her own, when the door was open she could be in and out with hair and makeup done in about 30 minutes.

If she got up early she shut the door and stayed in there forever
Seriously? You don't know?

confused at birth
01-12-2012, 12:56 PM
Seriously? You don't know?

at first I had some dirty ideas about what she was doing but when I found out she left the door unlocked I gave up on them

Sukoto
01-12-2012, 02:18 PM
at first I had some dirty ideas about what she was doing but when I found out she left the door unlocked I gave up on them
I believe it takes a while for women to shave their legs, and whatever else they shave. But they don't do it every day.

confused at birth
01-12-2012, 02:33 PM
But they don't do it every day.

From what I could tell every sunday, in the bath with music and wine for about 2 hours plus before any date.

date nights tended to be when she used my razor for her pre-screw clean up.



And showering together was more awkward than fun to be honest trying to wash my feet without sticking my head anywhere she wouldnt appreciate was hard

Bryan Blaire
01-12-2012, 04:03 PM
I can do laundry, but I do it my way, and if your silly girly things can't deal with the way I do laundry, then you should probably do at least those separately or volunteer to do all the laundry, especially if you are more picky about how it gets done than: Whites, Reds, Darks, Lights. And frankly Darks and Reds can usually be combined. I liked laundry in the military: all my crap goes in the same washer.

I can iron. Only my Class As actually need it. So that's all that it gets done on.

Dishes get done. Eventully or when there is need for them for immediate cooking. Dirty pots and pans make better thinks on the head and leave residue markings, and so are actually better for that use.

I really try to consider just how much I actually care about something before arguing to have someone else do it. Most of the time, I'll do it myself rather than arguing about it. If I even care enough to have an issue in the first place.

Jeans have a minimum of three days wear in them, even in the mud and muck from construction working/power tool use, maximum 7 days wear. If there aren't visible spots, they are still suitable for church wear.

The Unreasoner
01-12-2012, 04:26 PM
I have told my mother numerous times that only weird freaks iron jeans. She insists they look better that way. I have been brainwashed.
Well, I'm already a hardcore fan freak, I might as well confess that I am a weird freak too...

I iron jeans. And they do look better that way.

BTW, completely missed how off-topic this thread got when I replied earlier

Ivhon
01-12-2012, 04:39 PM
I handwash all dishes because dishwashers are about the biggest scam in the history of the universe.

I do laundry when the hamper is full. Everything on Cold/Heavy Soil - do not separate.

I iron absolutely NOTHING (well, maybe a suit...but I live in Austin and therefore cannot quite remember the last time I wore a suit). 10 minutes of high heat and a damp rag while I shower gets most of the wrinkles out. What's left is a symbol of my individuality and belief in personal freedom.

Sometimes I fold. Most times there are a few baskets of clean clothes in the bedroom.

I vacuum when needed between housekeeping appointments.

And as a personal value and as a marriage counselor, if a partner has a problem with the way another partner does household chores, that partner is more than welcome to assume the responsibility for that chore to ensure that it is completed to their standards.

As you can tell by the amount of household chores for which I assume responsibility, my lovely wife has almost no criticism for how they are done.

Terez
01-12-2012, 04:56 PM
I handwash all dishes because dishwashers are about the biggest scam in the history of the universe.I agree! My mom insists that new dishwashers don't require you to wash the dishes before putting in the dishwasher, but I do it anyway. They are basically only good for super-sanitizing your dishes, IMO...which is good to do every now and then.

Terez
01-12-2012, 04:56 PM
I believe it takes a while for women to shave their legs, and whatever else they shave. But they don't do it every day.Um...I do.

confused at birth
01-12-2012, 05:03 PM
Um...I do.

a beard doesnt work with your look?

Sukoto
01-12-2012, 06:23 PM
Um...I do.
Then I should amend my previous statement to say that not all women shave every day.

SauceyBlueConfetti
01-12-2012, 08:33 PM
Then I should amend my previous statement to say that not all women shave every day.

lots of factors in that one
-ethnicity...darker complexions tend to grow more, and faster
-personal preference...although I would say ewwwww, some folks prefer hairy legs. and other bits. ewwwww ;)
-type of hair removal...epilady (device that rips out by the roots) takes care of hair for longer periods, as do creams etc. Waxing is the BEST and eliminates lots of issues. Expensive and it frickin hurts, but I think it is worth it. Laser for permanent removal, expensive and can lead to regrets later :p threading on the eyebrows is the best, but I know women who pluck theirs regulary and can take an hour to do it.

confused at birth
01-12-2012, 09:05 PM
Waxing is the BEST and eliminates lots of issues. Expensive and it frickin hurts,

Its not that bad I let someone do it for a bet $20 as long as I didnt scream, it hurt but not that not enough for me to lose the bet.

I have been told if you get it done at some places you can catch stuff that makes you itch before the hair comes back but I dont know why

Terez
01-12-2012, 09:25 PM
I used to get my face waxed, but started using Nair facial instead. It's much less offensive than the stronger stuff meant for the legs. The main thing that sucks about waxing aside from the pain is that you have to let it grow enough so that there's something to yank, which means you have to deal with hairy for a bit before you can get waxed again. And so I shave. For the facial hair, tweezers are good for those in-between periods, and then you wax when it gets to the point where you can't really keep up. (This is a problem for me with upper lip, since tweezing under the nose really hurts and you can only do a few at a time before giving up.)

confused at birth
01-12-2012, 09:54 PM
So was that a yes on the beard?:p

I missed this earlier so
Question

I work from home full time so I rarely even get dressed lol.

Giggity.



how do you know that this counts as a Giggity and not an oh god oh god my eyes?

Ivhon
01-12-2012, 11:11 PM
So was that a yes on the beard?:p

I missed this earlier so
Question



how do you know that this counts as a Giggity and not an oh god oh god my eyes?

Because above all else, Dav is a gentleman and knows what not to say to a woman.... ;)

confused at birth
01-12-2012, 11:23 PM
Because above all else, Dav is a gentleman

Strange I have never heard any lord say Giggity your royal highness in a movie.

This is a very disappointing oversight :(

Khoram
01-12-2012, 11:25 PM
Because above all else, Dav is a gentleman and knows what not to say to a woman.... ;)

... and he's seen pictures. At least, one that I know of, from the Warrior Dash. ;)

GonzoTheGreat
01-13-2012, 04:28 AM
how do you know that this counts as a Giggity and not an oh god oh god my eyes?
Justin Timberlake did that when Janet Jackson had her wardrobe malfunction. Somehow he even got away with it, which rather surprised me.

Tomp
01-13-2012, 04:45 AM
On a side note.

The magical washing machine. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZoKfap4g4w

Figbiscuit
01-13-2012, 07:57 AM
Creases in jeans? That's plain weird.

And wine helps with just about everything. I can think of only a couple situations where wine is not helpful. Driving, and in-depth relationship discussions with your significant other. Both are very dangerous to do under the influence.

Oh, I dunno, my and the OH have had some of our best 'what's niggling us at the moment about our relationship' conversations getting more and more heavily under the influence all the while. It normally ends well :cool:

Driving tho, no. That's bad.

One can argue that ironing is also very dangerous to do under the influence. What if you spill your wine on the item your ironing? What then? The stain's pretty much impossible to get out.

And if you've had a little too much to drink, you might mistake the iron for the phone, and then you'd be in a whole other realm of Hurt.

I have a glass of wine, I don't get pissed out of my tiny mind ;) And I also don't keep it anywhere near the ironing board - iron item, fold, add to pile, take a sip of wine (glass on table), get next item to iron. If I accidentally get too tipsy I just stop ironing :D

Figbiscuit
01-13-2012, 08:02 AM
The main thing that sucks about waxing aside from the pain is that you have to let it grow enough so that there's something to yank, which means you have to deal with hairy for a bit before you can get waxed again. And so I shave.

Amen to that! The pain doesn't bother me, but the in-between hairy does, also does the thought of paying someone else to do something which takes me less than 5 minutes once a week in the shower. I do occasionally wax my eyebrows if I've been a bit lazy with plucking them, although they generally need tidying up with tweezers a bit after.

What exactly IS threading?

SauceyBlueConfetti
01-13-2012, 08:39 AM
Amen to that! The pain doesn't bother me, but the in-between hairy does, also does the thought of paying someone else to do something which takes me less than 5 minutes once a week in the shower. I do occasionally wax my eyebrows if I've been a bit lazy with plucking them, although they generally need tidying up with tweezers a bit after.

What exactly IS threading?

weird. maybe because I am fair skinned, but the waxing, over time, made the hair grow less and less (and softer/lighter) on my legs. so "in between hairy" is puzzling to me a little

threading is this (http://www.eyebrowthreading.com/)

fdsaf3
01-13-2012, 09:17 AM
I'm still trying to figure out how we went from a discussion about me wanting to poison my roommate to now a discussion about feminine beautification processes. Not that any of you needs any, of course.

My facial hair dictates that I shave every 2-3 days. I'm not super hairy like other guys who have to shave every day (or even twice a day), and I'm glad for that.

It's really surprising to me that Terez shaves every day. I've known women who go weeks without shaving their legs during winter.

Also, just out of curiosity, how often do armpits need to be shaved?

Bryan Blaire
01-13-2012, 09:24 AM
I'm not super-hairy (although I am apparently furry, according to some people), but if I don't shave every day, it really shows on day 2. Sadly, if I do shave every day, I get some really gnarly razor rash and rip layers of skin off, even changing blades or entire razors each time. The military was a real beezotch for me in that respect.

The last page of this thread has really reminded me why I'm glad I'm not a woman. You gals do some crazy things to your bodies. Dealing with eyebrows sound worse than pits and legs shaving...

Davian93
01-13-2012, 09:50 AM
I shave every other day because of razor burn...especially in the winter as shaving in the morning and going out in -20 really messes up your skin.

Zombie Sammael
01-13-2012, 10:09 AM
I have grown a beard.

SauceyBlueConfetti
01-13-2012, 10:17 AM
Because above all else, Dav is a gentleman and knows what not to say to a woman.... ;)

and because most of us know Zae is a pretty girl! :D

fdsaf3
01-13-2012, 10:23 AM
I shave every other day because of razor burn...especially in the winter as shaving in the morning and going out in -20 really messes up your skin.

Not to get too creepy, but what razor/shaving gel do you use?

I have found that if I use the Mach 4 and sensitive skin shaving gel, I rarely if ever get razor burn. It still happens from time to time, but it's rare. Of course, I used to get razor burn all the time by shaving against the grain (ugh) and using crappy shaving cream.

I have relatively sensitive skin in general, though, so I'm not sure if the sensitive skin gel helps that much.

Also, I used to use scalding hot water when shaving. I've since started using hot but not scalding water, and that seems to help as well. It's hard to say.

SauceyBlueConfetti
01-13-2012, 10:25 AM
I'm not super-hairy (although I am apparently furry, according to some people)

Giggity? :D

Dealing with eyebrows sound worse than pits and legs shaving...

there is NOTHING more satisfying than coming home after a day filled with:
haircut
pedi/mani
eyebrow threading
massage

send your girl out for the whole shebang, get a bottle of wine, and enjoy your evening:p

Sarevok
01-13-2012, 10:25 AM
Hmmm...

Well, I start showing a stubble by the start of day 2, so I really should shave everyday. But since I don't really care for shaving, that I usually go a few days between shaving, un to having an actual beard now and then. (Not having problems with rash or anything, it's just such a fuzz for no real gain.)

Davian93
01-13-2012, 10:33 AM
and because most of us know Zae is a pretty girl! :D

She's quite the looker actually.

Giggity.

Not to get too creepy, but what razor/shaving gel do you use?

I use basically the same thing...but if I shave too much, I break out and get razor burn in the winter due to the cold. Shaving at night works but I'm usually too lazy to do that.

Bryan Blaire
01-13-2012, 10:40 AM
Yeah, I use one if the Fusion five-bladed razors with the hair stand-upper catch/comb thing (whatever the hell it's called) with sensitive skin shaving cream and hot, but not scalding water, and inevitably by day 3 of shaving each day, my skin begins to look like I'm trying to shave down to my dermis, and usually gets pretty raw and somewhat bloody. So I usually do every 3 to 4 days-ish, and reserve shaving for wearing my Class As or when we have visitors or I'm in the field with customers (which for us basically means anyone that happens to see us in the field).

Man was I happy when I got to the point in the Army where people basically quit caring whether I was shaved on Saturday or Sunday.

SBC, too funny. I don't think I'm furry, but at least one person I know of has made that particular accusation to me...

Gilshalos Sedai
01-13-2012, 10:45 AM
pedi/mani



No one touches my feet.

Crispin's Crispian
01-13-2012, 11:17 AM
I have grown a beard.
Yeah, me too. First my wife was all excited, because "beards are hot!" But this morning she told me it's getting to pokey so she doesn't want to kiss me. But the said I shouldn't shave it off, so...WTH? Aesthetic but not practical. Great.



No one touches my feet.
So it's a good thing you didn't marry Dav?

Gilshalos Sedai
01-13-2012, 11:22 AM
Yeah, me too. First my wife was all excited, because "beards are hot!" But this morning she told me it's getting to pokey so she doesn't want to kiss me. But the said I shouldn't shave it off, so...WTH? Aesthetic but not practical. Great.

Get a conditioner. If you don't have sensitive skin, regular hair conditioner works fine.


So it's a good thing you didn't marry Dav?

Of course. :D

Khoram
01-13-2012, 11:26 AM
I also use the Fusion five-blade and gel. I don't have to shave as often, though - maybe twice a week (although I usually wait longer in between shaves, cause the burn is pretty bad on me). I usually have a goatee, but I also like seeing my entire face once in a while. ;)

confused at birth
01-13-2012, 11:34 AM
... and he's seen pictures. At least, one that I know of, from the Warrior Dash.

I might have seen one because of my habit of tapping the mouse when listening to music but I am not sure

and because most of us know Zae is a pretty girl!

fair enough I guess but I have seen someone with a pretty face that flashed me, I would rather pour bleach on my eyes than look at that again.

pedi/mani

not that it matters but I thought it was mani/pedi?

Zaela Sedai
01-13-2012, 12:48 PM
So was that a yes on the beard?:p

I missed this earlier so
Question



how do you know that this counts as a Giggity and not an oh god oh god my eyes?



It would only be that in the sense of mere mortals not being able to withstand the beauty of said god or erm goddess in their true form ;)


And I just got an ego boost from reading this thread LOL. Between that and last night I'm prolly pretty good for a while :D

Sei'taer
01-13-2012, 01:37 PM
I guess my skin isn't sensitive. I used a Mach 3 and hot water, no shaving cream at all. Now I have a beard so I don't shave except to keep it neat.

What's with all the beards around here?

Zaela Sedai
01-13-2012, 01:53 PM
I do have to say... This is one of our epic derailments.....


And I like goatees not beards... Def sexy :D not big bushy ones though.


No worries dav, I'll *giggity* myself...and again...and so on

confused at birth
01-13-2012, 01:58 PM
What's with all the beards around here?

laziness probably, shaved everyday when I got up in the morning now that I am mostly on nights I dont bother as no one important is going to see me and most of the guys need a shave by then anyway.

I now look wierd if I shave and tie my hair back as half my face is tanned the other half is white

no shaving cream at all.

didnt it catch on the hairs? if I didnt use it I pulled out nearly as many as I shaved off

No worries dav, I'll *giggity* myself...and again

cant you just pay someone to do it for you?

Why dont you get yourself a desperate housewives style poolboy to fan you while you work saying giggity every now and then

Tomp
01-13-2012, 02:04 PM
I'll make my contribution to this weird thread.

I always shave after showering. The shaving cream is more used as a guide to where I've been shaving. If you shave when the hair is still wet it's much softer and easier to shave. If I shave with dry facial hair it's more painfull.

Free advice.

Crispin's Crispian
01-13-2012, 02:30 PM
Get a conditioner. If you don't have sensitive skin, regular hair conditioner works fine.

I've tried that. It doesn't seem to work unless the hair is pretty long, which mine isn't. :(

Zaela Sedai
01-13-2012, 03:20 PM
cant you just pay someone to do it for you?

Why dont you get yourself a desperate housewives style poolboy to fan you while you work saying giggity every now and then

/sigh

this kid doesn't know who he's talking to. TL isnt how it used to be is it LOL

GonzoTheGreat
01-13-2012, 03:27 PM
Zaela, are you now complaining that you're not getting the quality of noobs you used to get?

Sei'taer
01-13-2012, 03:41 PM
didnt it catch on the hairs? if I didnt use it I pulled out nearly as many as I shaved off


I never had a problem. I just wet my face and shaved. When my wife and I first got married, my in-laws wanted to buy me a nice shaving kit with all the stuff in it. My wife had to tell them not to bother because I wouldn't use any of it. My FIL still can't believe that I can shave without anything.

Someone mentioned long hair? When I cut mine off, I burned the holy living hell out of my neck for about the first week and then I was good. I have too much gray (white actually, but everyone calls it gray) to keep my hair long. Gray hair does weird things and won't do what I want it to do, so now I just shave it off with a number 2 guard.

Before I grew my beard, I shaved off my goatee that I had been wearing for about 7 or 8 years and it was pasty white underneath. I was really glad when my beard started growing in to cover that up and to make me look like I had a chin again.

Zaela Sedai
01-13-2012, 03:43 PM
LMAO. No, just that back in the day... You know what, I'm complaining about the fact that I can actually say "back in the day"


And there is nowhere near the quality I collected back then, but they are all still with me and even though my youngest is getting old, I'm not sure I have the time to collect any fresh meat for my harem....

Hopefully I don't have to put the dog down soon, there aren't many wolf brothers around and he's getting pretty old.


~ducks in case someone points him to this thread~

confused at birth
01-13-2012, 03:53 PM
I was told to shave and "do something about that hair" just before christmas because I was helping to install some new equipment and was going to be there during the day when management was going to be in to inspect the new $750000 piece.

they had no clue what it did and I looked stupid, they didnt look at me because I wasnt important enough to speak to them to give the explanation they forgot before leaving the shop

Khoram
01-13-2012, 05:28 PM
I think I know what I'm going to be growing again. :D

confused at birth
01-13-2012, 05:37 PM
cannabis?

ooh baby boa constrictors?



No wait, I know its got to be sunflowers

Davian93
01-13-2012, 06:50 PM
I grew out my beard one time...after 6 months it was pretty damn impressive...of course I looked like a drifter but that's beside the point.


Ive always wanted to learn how to shave with a straight razor but I'm simply not that motivated and have a fear of slicing my own throat open. I do like getting a straight razor shave from my barber though...lasts a good 3 days as its much much closer than any safety razor.

Davian93
01-13-2012, 07:04 PM
No worries dav, I'll *giggity* myself...and again...and so on

http://starsmedia.ign.com/stars/image/article/890/890465/top-10-family-guy-characters-feature-20080716024108003-000.jpg

AbbeyRoad
01-13-2012, 10:31 PM
Ive always wanted to learn how to shave with a straight razor
You should; it's fantastic. I can get closer than any puny plastic Mach [insert random number of blades here].

GonzoTheGreat
01-14-2012, 03:33 AM
Ive always wanted to learn how to shave with a straight razor but I'm simply not that motivated and have a fear of slicing my own throat open.
Remember that wonderful advice which GWB gave for such situations: "if you do not succeed at once, try, try again".

Tomp
01-14-2012, 06:36 AM
Ive always wanted to learn how to shave with a straight razor but I'm simply not that motivated and have a fear of slicing my own throat open. I do like getting a straight razor shave from my barber though...lasts a good 3 days as its much much closer than any safety razor.

If you cut yourself, remember to not put a tourniquet around your neck. It can be fatal. :rolleyes:

Although, if you want to try....

Hopper
01-14-2012, 06:53 AM
LMAO. No, just that back in the day... You know what, I'm complaining about the fact that I can actually say "back in the day"


And there is nowhere near the quality I collected back then, but they are all still with me and even though my youngest is getting old, I'm not sure I have the time to collect any fresh meat for my harem....

Hopefully I don't have to put the dog down soon, there aren't many wolf brothers around and he's getting pretty old.


~ducks in case someone points him to this thread~


Regarding noobs, Zaela was one of mine during my tenure as Theoryland Greeter. The quality just hasn't been the same since.

Zombie Sammael
01-14-2012, 06:57 AM
Regarding noobs, Zaela was one of mine during my tenure as Theoryland Greeter. The quality just hasn't been the same since.

The noobs are never as good as they were when you were a noob. Trust me, I should know: I've been one twice.

Zaela Sedai
01-14-2012, 09:56 AM
The noobs are never as good as they were when you were a noob. Trust me, I should know: I've been one twice.

Wow I didn't even get something thrown at me. Did you pee on the carpet again!?

Hopper
01-14-2012, 11:35 AM
Wow I didn't even get something thrown at me. Did you pee on the carpet again!?

I figured it would just be better to ignore you calling me a wolfbrother.

Zaela Sedai
01-14-2012, 02:22 PM
I figured it would just be better to ignore you calling me a wolfbrother.

I was always under the assumption that wolves considered themselves brothers and sisters along with the occasional human, maybe I'm wrong lol.

Crispin's Crispian
01-14-2012, 05:02 PM
Just decided to trim some of my beard this morning. Went a little too far... Oh well.

Khoram
01-14-2012, 07:10 PM
Just decided to trim some of my beard this morning. Went a little too far... Oh well.

I hate it when that happens. You have an idea of what you want to do, and then you mess it up and have to either get rid of all of it or change what you want to do.

Davian93
01-14-2012, 08:03 PM
I'm growing my beard out right now...5 days in and it itches like hell. I hate this stage of it.

Sei'taer
01-14-2012, 08:41 PM
I'm growing my beard out right now...5 days in and it itches like hell. I hate this stage of it.

Mine grows in pretty fast but it takes a while for it to fill in. After I trim it a few times it fills in and looks nicer.

confused at birth
01-14-2012, 11:24 PM
this kid doesn't know who he's talking to.

true enough are you the blonde or the brunette?

http://zaela-sedai.theoryland.yuku.com/

I'm growing my beard out right now...5 days in and it itches like hell. I hate this stage of it.

I have never had my face itch because of hair. I asked other people I know with beards and only one out of about 30 said they had ever had this problem what are you doing to your beard to make it itch?

Davian93
01-15-2012, 09:24 AM
Zae's the one sitting in the middle with the beard and cane.

Khoram
01-15-2012, 09:26 AM
true enough are you the blonde or the brunette?

http://zaela-sedai.theoryland.yuku.com/



I have never had my face itch because of hair. I asked other people I know with beards and only one out of about 30 said they had ever had this problem what are you doing to your beard to make it itch?

The itch is terrible. I get it as well, and after the firdt five days it gets terrible. Duribg those first five days, though, I get more burn from the hair catching on my shirt and scarf than I get from shaving. Not fun.

confused at birth
01-15-2012, 11:09 AM
Zae's the one sitting in the middle with the beard and cane.

Well I would have gone with the old white beard :D

The itch is terrible. I get it as well, and after the firdt five days it gets terrible.

the only one I know who gets it is a guy who shaves every sunday for church. he is always complaining about it itching by friday but still shaves it off to go to church

Khoram
01-15-2012, 03:29 PM
Well I would have gone with the old white beard :D



the only one I know who gets it is a guy who shaves every sunday for church. he is always complaining about it itching by friday by friday but still shaves it off to go to church

It's better it itches by Friday than it itching for many days. That's just my take, though. :D

Zaela Sedai
01-15-2012, 04:47 PM
true enough are you the blonde or the brunette?

http://zaela-sedai.theoryland.yuku.com/
?

Wow old pic MEMORIES!!!!!!

Brunette. The blonde is actually Isabel

Ave w really not done a photo thread in a long ass time? I guess maybe its obsolete with FB

confused at birth
01-15-2012, 04:53 PM
Wow old pic MEMORIES!!!!!!

Which are nicer than pics of old mammaries:D


I missed this earlier so
Question

I work from home full time so I rarely even get dressed lol.

Giggity.

how do you know that this counts as a Giggity and not an oh god oh god my eyes?


Giggity now accepted as the correct response to an undressed Zaela

Khoram
01-15-2012, 06:51 PM
Wow old pic MEMORIES!!!!!!

Brunette. The blonde is actually Isabel

Ave w really not done a photo thread in a long ass time? I guess maybe its obsolete with FB

For those of you who are friends on facebook, that is. ;)

Hopper
01-15-2012, 07:38 PM
Wow old pic MEMORIES!!!!!!

Brunette. The blonde is actually Isabel

Ave w really not done a photo thread in a long ass time? I guess maybe its obsolete with FB

I remember taking that pic.

Crispin's Crispian
01-15-2012, 08:42 PM
For those of you who are friends on facebook, that is. ;)

Well fine. Off-hand I can't remember which TL person is which real-life FB person, so here's what I looked like before I shaved my beard.


http://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2008/11/kimbo.jpg
It never itched.

Khoram
01-15-2012, 08:52 PM
Well fine. Off-hand I can't remember which TL person is which real-life FB person, so here's what I looked like before I shaved my beard.


http://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads/2008/11/kimbo.jpg
It never itched.

That there's a golden beard. Of course it never itched.

confused at birth
01-15-2012, 08:53 PM
Ave w really not done a photo thread in a long ass time?

The only pics of myself I have is a work pic so...

You first :D

Sei'taer
01-15-2012, 09:47 PM
Here's me, and the bear I killed with my bare fucking hands. Rangy bastard he was. 'Bout 8' tall, around 700 lbs (I'm 6'2" and his feet are dragging the ground behind me). All I had was some empty ration bags and a broken backpack. My fire was nearly out and smoking like crazy. I guess he smelled an easy meal. He came at me like a wounded wolverine, but I was faster. I caught him hard in the throat as his fangs was bearing down on my neck. He dropped and screamed like a cornered rat. I think that's when he knew I wasn't gonna be easy pickins. I'll save all the gory details...suffice it to say, I carried that bear 84 miles out of the bush, living off a smoked haunch most of the way. He made a nice addition to my collection of ferocious animals...

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i187/seitaer9/IMG_0494.jpg

Surely you can find me on FB?

confused at birth
01-15-2012, 09:59 PM
reading back over this madness made me realise something.:eek:

When I moved to NC my dad gave me that gillette razor that vibrated and I used that until the batteries started going really fast. I was having to replace them once every two weeks so I went back to my old one.

I am starting to think I dont pay enough attention to the world around me

What was going on in that bloody bathroom?:D:D


Rangy bastard he was.

lookng at that picture made me think you said randy bastard

Khoram
01-15-2012, 10:05 PM
Surely you can find me on FB?

I'm sure I could, if I tried hard enough. And don't call me Shirley.

yks 6nnetu hing
01-16-2012, 03:13 AM
I do have to say... This is one of our epic derailments.....


And I like goatees not beards... Def sexy :D not big bushy ones though.


No worries dav, I'll *giggity* myself...and again...and so on

stubble hurts, so stubble =/= kissing. As for varieties of facial hair, most of them look stupid: all moustashes, goatees and sideburns, varying degrees of stupid. intricately cut shapes on your face, exponentially stupid.
http://www.oojudoo-oojufink.com/barber/albums/userpics/normal_arrow_beard_barber_etching.jpg
Stupider than tramp stamps, though thankfully not as permanent.

The only one that looks kind of ok is a full beard, ranging somewhere between Hugh Laurie and Zach Galifianakis, but that makes me think of my grandfather and/or Santa Claus, so... er... no giggity there.

ETA: incidentally, while we're discussing male facial hair, what is it with the current Hollywood trend of leading actors that just look like large rodents? Ryan Gosling looks like a mouse, Shia Labeouf like an overfed rat... and apparently that's "hot"???

Zaela Sedai
01-16-2012, 08:53 PM
That pic is all sorts of awesome Bro!

StrangePackage
01-16-2012, 09:03 PM
Giggity now accepted as the correct response to an undressed Zaela

Is that what the correct response was?

Dang. I just told her "yes, ma'am."

confused at birth
01-16-2012, 10:00 PM
Dang. I just told her "yes, ma'am."

Maybe for you but I would have a twelve hour drive to look foward to so I would leave it at a compliment



stubble hurts, so stubble =/= kissing

women should remember this as well

intricately cut shapes on your &*^%, exponentially stupid.

I believe this can go both ways as well


on the first topic, never trust that the vac bag has been emptied. found out it hasnt the filter was just blocked and the hose was packed with months of hair and dust. took an hour to unblock before I could clean my room

Zaela Sedai
01-17-2012, 12:13 PM
/sigh, oh Kitten.. What EVER would I do without you?




on the first topic, never trust that the vac bag has been emptied. found out it hasnt the filter was just blocked and the hose was packed with months of hair and dust. took an hour to unblock before I could clean my room

Are you trying to get back on topic? Interesting... But you are correct, always check the vac bag, the last thing I would ever want to do is unclog other people's hair.


And shaving designs no matter where they are nasty and/or super stupid. If one has that much time in their hands....

Davian93
01-17-2012, 12:23 PM
Vacuums have bags?


~owns a Dyson~

confused at birth
01-17-2012, 12:25 PM
Are you trying to get back on topic? Interesting...

nope not now not ever :p

It was more of a reference to the sort of terrible suffering fdsaf and countless others have been forced to endure:(

That was like a war memorial to the mark the first expression of pain that starts this type of nonsense

always check the vac bag

It never got full that was why I thought he had emptied the bloody thing

If one has that much time in their hands....

They likely got something else on their hands first :eek:

Bryan Blaire
01-17-2012, 07:13 PM
Strangely enough, I think I've either gotten used to the itch, or my face/beard just doesn't itch. It just likes to bleed when I shave.

Ivhon
01-17-2012, 10:28 PM
Vacuums have bags?


~owns a Dyson~

Shoes come in synthetic fibers with velcro straps?

~owns red patent leather shoes with silk laces~

confused at birth
01-18-2012, 10:54 PM
~owns red patent leather shoes with silk laces~

ok then but I have to ask

:confused::confused: why? :confused::confused:

yks 6nnetu hing
01-19-2012, 02:05 AM
ok then but I have to ask

:confused::confused: why? :confused::confused:

Because Dav has a thing for out-of-the-ordinary shoes. And bags... and now, apparently vacuum cleaners.


fetish? who said anything about a fetish?

confused at birth
01-20-2012, 12:54 PM
I can be so stylish = black jeans,black shoes with bright white socks

Khoram
01-20-2012, 12:57 PM
I can be so stylish = black jeans,black shoes with bright white socks

Inner eye hurting so much right now. :(

Crispin's Crispian
01-20-2012, 01:03 PM
I can be so stylish = black jeans,black shoes with bright white socks

What about the white glove?


http://www.lowdensitylifestyle.com/media/uploads/2009/07/mj-billie-jean.jpg

confused at birth
01-20-2012, 01:35 PM
no but sometimes the hat, my rubber band snapped so I have been using it to keep my hair out of my face.

I havent owned a white Tshirt since I was 12

And definitely no crotch grab!

yks 6nnetu hing
01-20-2012, 02:13 PM
What about the white glove?


http://www.lowdensitylifestyle.com/media/uploads/2009/07/mj-billie-jean.jpg

Repped.

Ah, memories, TL is the fuzziest, warmest community online. Er... with a few sticky yucky slimy things you sometimes find in the couch. Home!

confused at birth
01-20-2012, 02:18 PM
Er... with a few sticky yucky slimy things you sometimes find in the couch.

I am the only person that keeps their couch clean on this entire planet?

I have never found anything nasty under the cushions and the only thing that ever goes down the side is the remote or my Keys/phone when its important I go out or make a call.

yks 6nnetu hing
01-20-2012, 03:05 PM
I am the only person that keeps their couch clean on this entire planet?

I have never found anything nasty under the cushions and the only thing that ever goes down the side is the remote or my Keys/phone when its important I go out or make a call.

lol, I was talking metaphorically, referring to certain topics we don't even need to go into, naming is enough (grilled cheese. shoes. cucmbers. chains under the table. steel-toed boots.), and a few posters that have... um... slimified. though which posters find which posters slimy differs widely. Some looooove posters that others find slimy.

confused at birth
01-20-2012, 03:51 PM
a few posters that have... um... slimified. though which posters find which posters slimy differs widely.

yes well perspective differs about everything

Lots of people now think I am into bondage because one of my roommates saw what is in the top draw of my bedside table and assumed what was in there had to have a kinky purpose.

Blindfold = there is a streetlight outside my window and I had to wait a month until I could afford to put curtains up

Handcuffs = Same reason as the 45 in my closet, I lived in a bad neighborhood with lots of break ins and my neighbor was raped. I didnt want to be forced to kill someone if I had the choice to restrain them.

Moisturizer = What I do means I have to wash my hands a lot and if I didnt use it my hands would be so dry after a week they get so bad the skinm cracks and starts bleeding.


I know why they are there but so many peoples minds are so full of sex they cant see any other reason for them to be next to my bed.

Crispin's Crispian
01-20-2012, 04:13 PM
yes well perspective differs about everything

Lots of people now think I am into bondage because one of my roommates saw what is in the top draw of my bedside table and assumed what was in there had to have a kinky purpose.

Blindfold = there is a streetlight outside my window and I had to wait a month until I could afford to put curtains up

Handcuffs = Same reason as the 45 in my closet, I lived in a bad neighborhood with lots of break ins and my neighbor was raped. I didnt want to be forced to kill someone if I had the choice to restrain them.

Moisturizer = What I do means I have to wash my hands a lot and if I didnt use it my hands would be so dry after a week they get so bad the skinm cracks and starts bleeding.


I know why they are there but so many peoples minds are so full of sex they cant see any other reason for them to be next to my bed.

Oh, and I suppose the riding crop is from your days as an equestrian instructor. :rolleyes:


(No one believes that one, BTW, so don't bother trying it.)

confused at birth
01-20-2012, 04:48 PM
I have been told that I am oblivious to even the most obvious sexual tension
Because I dont really think about sex the sexual context of a situation will to go over my head so people make assumptions about me because of it.

These are the people that believe I have slept with nearly all of my female friends and atleast one of the males.

I like to cook for my friends, we tend to then sit around and have a few drinks and talk for hours. sometimes they have to much to drink and cannot drive home, I have a large bed why not just spend the night?

nothing ever happens but everyone of my friends that hasnt done this believes I have the ability to get any girl I want into bed.

My current roommate thought I was a god because a couple of weeks after he moved in two of my friends spent the night and he told everyone we had a threesome.

Letting one of my gay friends spend the night hasnt helped fix this misconception because nearly all my friends saw me get drunk and kiss him a while back but he is one of my best friends and he knows I am not gay so I didnt think anything of us sleeping in the same bed

Zaela Sedai
01-20-2012, 05:17 PM
lol, I was talking metaphorically, referring to certain topics we don't even need to go into, naming is enough (grilled cheese. shoes. cucmbers. chains under the table. steel-toed boots.), and a few posters that have... um... slimified. though which posters find which posters slimy differs widely. Some looooove posters that others find slimy.

Mmmm chains under the table. WIN!!!

Also she was talking about the ESC couch... Def very slimy.

Brita
01-20-2012, 06:27 PM
This thread is full of zany awesomeness. I've missed that. For the record, folding underwear is ridiculous. Leaving wet towels on the floor is just rude. Jeans are better broken in. Especially snug ones, they start out a little tight, but loosen to fit just right. It only makes sense to make the most of one's jeans in the proper state of derrière ... shape.

confused at birth
01-20-2012, 07:10 PM
you snooze you lose :p no crazy fun for you :(

It only makes sense to make the most of one's jeans in the proper state of derrière ... shape.


why dont you just buy spanx? :p

they are designed to help with saggy bums so you dont have to wear tight jeans

Brita
01-20-2012, 07:30 PM
you snooze you lose :p no crazy fun for you :(

Dammit!

Khoram
01-20-2012, 07:45 PM
Also she was talking about the ESC couch... Def very slimy.

As much as I've thought of sitting down on the Couch, there's a reason I haven't say down on it yet. ;) Maybe I'll just sit on the floor, instead. :D

Tomp
01-20-2012, 07:58 PM
http://www.lowdensitylifestyle.com/media/uploads/2009/07/mj-billie-jean.jpg

This is the best MJ performance as of yet (I'm biased) especially the dancing and the moonwalk at the start. :D : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ70JryugJI


Sincere apologies to all real MJ fans. Please don't kill me :eek:

confused at birth
01-20-2012, 09:15 PM
Maybe I'll just sit on the floor, instead

Where the goo has run off and mixed with old beer spills to form foul smelling puddles.

your parents must be so happy that they no longer have to do your laundry

Khoram
01-20-2012, 09:21 PM
Where the goo has run off and mixed with old beer spills to form foul smelling puddles.

your parents must be so happy that they no longer have to do your laundry

I do make them proud, don't I? :D

Maybe I'll build my own separate chair. The ESC Chair of Khoram...? XD

Maybe not...

confused at birth
01-20-2012, 09:34 PM
Well you could put in a throne but Sei'taer might get pissy about your choice of plumbers :p

But at least you would have somewhere to read in peace :D



Idea for your ESC Chair of Khoram:cool:

Why dont you pull the seat out of that plane in your avatar then we could mount it on a ATV frame and fix a fridge on one side and microwave on the other.

Beer and hotpockets onboard and you can leave fast if someone farts

Ivhon
01-20-2012, 10:00 PM
Silly nubs. Don't y'all know that there can be no improvements on the ESC?

For one, it is self cleaning. Good grief, 'Taer has been sitting on it for YEARS now....we'd all be a mass of mutant petrification if the ESC didn't have a self-cleaning feature.

And how can you improve on something that provides what you want? Hotpockets and beer? My God! The ESC has provided more of each over the last 8 years than the freezer department of my local SuperTarget. Whatever you want, mates. Get it? Whatever...you...want.

Beer? you got it
Hotpockets? Oh, hell yeah!
Ben & Jerry's Mocha Fudge Swirl? the ESC is the ONLY place you can get that stuff now.
Pizza? 37 different toppings and counting
Coffe, latte's (blech...but SDog earned em), tea, cookies, bras, socks, shoes.....titty sprinkles....whatever. ESC has you covered.

confused at birth
01-20-2012, 10:10 PM
Silly nubs.Don't y'all know that there can be no improvements on the ESC?

dont hit me Its all Khorams fault mister, anyway we didnt try to improve it He(?) just was scared to sit on it as is. Hit him if it makes you feel better but he is prob to frozen to notice

And how can you improve on something that provides what you want?

in that case I will have a pair of meatball & Mozzarella hotpockets with a six pack yuenglings for breakfast when I next log on followed with a large bowl chocolate fudge and vanilla ice cream with loads of nutella stirred in

Khoram
01-20-2012, 10:41 PM
He(?)

Yes.

Silly nubs. Don't y'all know that there can be no improvements on the ESC?

For one, it is self cleaning. Good grief, 'Taer has been sitting on it for YEARS now....we'd all be a mass of mutant petrification if the ESC didn't have a self-cleaning feature.

And how can you improve on something that provides what you want? Hotpockets and beer? My God! The ESC has provided more of each over the last 8 years than the freezer department of my local SuperTarget. Whatever you want, mates. Get it? Whatever...you...want.

Beer? you got it
Hotpockets? Oh, hell yeah!
Ben & Jerry's Mocha Fudge Swirl? the ESC is the ONLY place you can get that stuff now.
Pizza? 37 different toppings and counting
Coffe, latte's (blech...but SDog earned em), tea, cookies, bras, socks, shoes.....titty sprinkles....whatever. ESC has you covered.

Mea culpa. I should have known better. I should have known that it's perfectly safe to sit on if everybody continues to sit on it after Sei's sat on it for years. Forgive me for being a silly noob. I may be an Elder, but I am newly raised, and still have much to learn. :D

confused at birth
01-20-2012, 11:06 PM
Mea culpa. I should have known better.

damn he avoids his punishment.



does it have an air freshener?

You all seem to have spent years eating cheese puffs, drinking beer and farting on it the air has to be getting pretty toxic around there even if it cleans itself

Sei'taer
01-20-2012, 11:34 PM
damn he avoids his punishment.



does it have an air freshener?

You all seem to have spent years eating cheese puffs, drinking beer and farting on it the air has to be getting pretty toxic around there even if it cleans itself

I've planted more farts in those cushions than I've made posts at TL. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.

Stay away from my Old Speckled Hen and you'll be fine. Touch it, I'll eat beef stew and you'll be wishing there was another place to go.

confused at birth
01-20-2012, 11:41 PM
finally a clear warning unlike the warning about blue waffle I didnt see in time thursday.

that made me think wtf is Blue waffle and copy it into google before getting to the part where whoever posted it said dont look it up. lots of fun to look at during dinner



Dont worry MasterFarter your beer is safe

I've planted more farts in those cushions than I've made posts at TL.

But have you planted more than Terez has posted?

That would be more impressive but would make me suggest you visit a doctor

Sei'taer
01-21-2012, 09:25 AM
finally a clear warning unlike the warning about blue waffle I didnt see in time thursday.

that made me think wtf is Blue waffle and copy it into google before getting to the part where whoever posted it said dont look it up. lots of fun to look at during dinner



Dont worry MasterFarter your beer is safe



But have you planted more than Terez has posted?

That would be more impressive but would make me suggest you visit a doctor

It's possible, but there's no way to know. Who keeps count of that kind of thing?

Tomp
01-21-2012, 09:49 AM
It's possible, but there's no way to know. Who keeps count of that kind of thing?

Well, look in the mirror

confused at birth
01-21-2012, 01:02 PM
It's possible, but there's no way to know. Who keeps count of that kind of thing?

buy a counter and keep it out on your desk when you are work see how many idiots ask you what its for, tell them your doc told you to keep count. you could ring a bell every time you do a thousand :D

Yes.


well its hard to tell online sometimes I was just checking, could be worse I could have suggested shemale :p

The Great Serpent
01-22-2012, 05:44 PM
'Twas once a thread about roommate murder,
Which derailed like a herd without herder.
First chores, and then laundries,
With and without undies,
Now Taer's ass is involved... read no further.