View Full Version : Ceiling Cat Sez

08-13-2008, 03:15 PM
The Lolcat Bible (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page)


Ecclesiastes Chapter 1

Nothing Has Any Meaning

1 These are the words of the Teacher. He was the son of David. He was also king in Jerusalem.

2 "Meaningless! Everything is meaningless!"
says the Teacher.
"Everything is completely meaningless!
Nothing has any meaning."
3 What does a man get for all of his work?
Why does he work so hard on this earth?
4 People come and people go.
But the earth remains forever.
5 The sun rises. Then it sets.
And then it hurries back to where it rises.
6 The wind blows to the south.
Then it turns to the north.
Around and around it goes.
It always returns to where it started.
7 Every stream flows into the ocean.
But the ocean never gets full.
The streams return
to the place they came from.
8 All things are tiresome.
They are more tiresome than anyone can say.
But our eyes never see enough of anything.
Our ears never hear enough.
9 Everything that has ever been will come back again.
Everything that has ever been done will be done again.
Nothing is new on earth.
10 There isn't anything about which someone can say,
"Look! Here's something new."
It was already here long ago.
It was here before we were.
11 No one remembers the men of long ago.
Even those who haven't been born yet
won't be remembered
by those who will be born after them.

Wisdom Doesn't Have Any Meaning

12 I, the Teacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. 13 I spent all of my time studying. I used my wisdom to check everything out. I looked into everything that is done on earth. What a heavy load God has put on men! 14 I've seen what is done on this earth. It doesn't have any meaning. It's like chasing the wind.

15 People can't straighten things that are twisted.
They can't count things that don't even exist.
16 I said to myself, "Look, my wisdom has really been growing. In fact, I'm now wiser than anyone who ruled over Jerusalem in the past. I have a lot of wisdom and knowledge."
17 Then I used my mind to understand what it really means to be wise. And I wanted to know what foolish pleasure is all about. But I found out that that's also like chasing the wind.

18 A lot of human wisdom leads to a lot of sorrow.
More knowledge only brings more sadness.

Ecclesiastes Chapter 1

Everything Iz Ghey

1 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#1) Teh werdz ov teh preechur, teh son ov David, King of teh Jerusalem.2 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#2) "St00pid! St00pid!" Sez teh teechurcat. "Srsly st00pid. Everythingz ghey."3 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#3) Wut man getz 4 laburz he toilz @ undur teh sunz?4 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#4) Generashun comez n generashun goez, still same lolcats.5 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#5) Sun rizez n setz, goez bak n rize agin.6 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#6) Teh wind blowz souf n norf, rownd n rownd, alwayz teh sayme.7 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#7) Seaz can has streemz, nevur fullz. Streemz go bak where comez frum.8 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#8) All tingz has DO NOT WANT, more den werdz sez. Lolrus never sez "enuf bucket, kthnx" or kitteh sez "dats good, enuff cheezburger."9 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#9) Has happen? Gunna be agin. Nuthing new undur teh sunz.10 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#10) Kitteh can not sez "OMFGZ sumthing new!" is jus REPOST!.11 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#11) New kittahz 4gitz old kittahz, new kittahz 4gitd bai even newer kittahz.

Wizdum Iz Ghey

12 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#12) I Iz teh teechurcat, king of teh Jerusalem.13 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#13) I has studiez n wizdum ovur all lolcatz, n zomg wut hevy berdun Ceiling Cat putz on kittehz.14 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#14) Teechurcat haz see lolrus n cheezburgerz n longcatz n awl dat is st00pidz, lyke chasing aftur tail. Nevr can catch teh tayle and even whn yu doo it hrtz srsly.
15 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#15) Wut iz breakd kittah cannot to be fixez, wut gon cannot iz cowntid.
16 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#16) Teechurcat sez to selv, "O hai! I has growd n increes widum moar den awl teechurcatz comez b4 meh. I has ekspeeriens much wizdum n nawledg."17 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#17) Den I appliez self to knowz wizdomz n aslo knowz bout st00pid n ghey thingz, n lernz dat dis aslo lyke chasing aftur tayl.
18 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ecclesiastes_1#18) Srsly moar wizdum iz FTL, k. Moar smartz, moar greefz.


Gilshalos Sedai
08-13-2008, 03:35 PM
Good Lord, some people have too much time on their hands, er, paws.

Cary Sedai
08-13-2008, 03:48 PM

Okay, so, this has probably already been touched on somewhere, but doesn't that (That being Ecclesiastes Chapter 1) closely resemble this:

Originally Posted by tEotW Ch 1
The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose in the Mountains of Mist. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.

Gilshalos Sedai
08-13-2008, 03:50 PM
Yes. It was on purpose.

08-13-2008, 03:54 PM
The Bible ripped off RJ!

And Gil, I rather imagine that several someones have worked on this project, and most of them not very much. It's a worthy cause. :D

Cary Sedai
08-13-2008, 04:04 PM
The Bible ripped off RJ!

I knew it! :D

08-13-2008, 04:09 PM
The Bible ripped off RJ!

Ha! Good one T- clever girl.

08-13-2008, 04:13 PM
Furst Tess

6 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Job_1#6) Teh ayngles wented to seez Ceiling Cat, and Basement Cat wented two.7 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Job_1#7) Ceiling Cat axt Basement Cat, "Wher wuz u?" Basement Cat saied "Oh, hai. I'z wuz in ur earth, wawking up and down uponz it."8 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Job_1#8) Teh Ceiling Cat sayd "Has u seen mai servnt Job? He can has cheezburger cuz he laiks me."

http://www.lolcatbible.com/images/thumb/7/77/Eetsoul.png/180px-Eetsoul.png (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Image:Eetsoul.png) http://www.lolcatbible.com/skins/common/images/magnify-clip.png (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Image:Eetsoul.png)
Teh Basement Cat wantz Job's soul.

9 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Job_1#9) "No wai!" sed Basement Cat.10 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Job_1#10) "U just plyin favrits.11 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Job_1#11) If u take his cheezburgers, oar his bukkit, he no laiks u no moar."
12 (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Job_1#12) Then teh Ceiling Cat sed "Okai, u can take his bukkit, but no givin Job owies." And then Basement Cat went awai.:D

08-13-2008, 04:52 PM
I like Basement Cat more than I like Ceiling Cat.

Marie Curie 7
08-13-2008, 09:44 PM
Ceiling Cat Prayer (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Ceiling_Cat_Prayer)

Praise Ceiling Cat, yu be watchin us, yu can has cheezburger.

Wut yu want, yu gets, srsly.
In ceiling and on teh flor.

Giv us dis day our dalee cheezburger.

And furgiv us for makin yu a cookie, but eateding it.
And we furgiv wen cats steel our cookiez.

An do not let us leed into teh showa, but deliver us from teh wawter.

Ceiling Cat pwns all. He pwns teh ceiling and teh floor and walls too.

Forevur and evuhr. Amen.


08-14-2008, 03:14 AM
I like Basement Cat more than I like Ceiling Cat.Pruf dat ur evl.

08-14-2008, 08:26 AM
Pruf dat ur evl.


08-15-2008, 12:17 AM