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View Full Version : For Sare...and Mort too I suppose


Sei'taer
08-20-2008, 04:07 PM
Since Sare got extremely confused by a statement made about Judo in the Tejas thread, I figured I could start one to help them out a little.

You already know about the Judo joke. I'm going to assume that you know about the Nacho one too. So, you need to get a little insight into these:

The Hodeedo's, The Monback's, the Motea's, the Doodah's, The Asskot's, the European's, The Mitosis' and the Ubucha's...I'm sure there's more.

Then there's the books that all kids learn about in grade school:

Under the Grandstands by Seymour Butts.

50 yards to the outhouse by Willie Makit and the second book 30 yards to go by Betty Wont.

The Overpopulation of China by Wi Fukem Yung

There are tons of these and I just wanted to give some examples. I'm sure other people know quite a few more. Hell, I know quite a few more, but I'll give others a chance.

You also have the Diahrrea song and a song about tying your pecker to a tree that is lots of fun, but I can't remember the words to it...plus lots of songs about loose women and stupid men that are along the same vein.

Cary Sedai
08-20-2008, 04:22 PM
Three little stooges laying in a ditch one jumped up called the other a son of a Peter had a dog and a pretty little dog was she he gave him to the neighbor to keep him company
He fed him, he fed him, he fed him on a rock,
she jumped up his pants leg bit him on the cocktail 5 cents a glass if you don't believe me you can kiss my dirty ask me no more questions and I'll tell you no more lies, but if you ever get hit with a bucket of shit be sure to close your eyes.

tanaww
08-20-2008, 04:43 PM
Three little stooges laying in a ditch one jumped up called the other a son of a Peter had a dog and a pretty little dog was she he gave him to the neighbor to keep him company
He fed him, he fed him, he fed him on a rock,
she jumped up his pants leg bit him on the cocktail 5 cents a glass if you don't believe me you can kiss my dirty ask me no more questions and I'll tell you no more lies, but if you ever get hit with a bucket of shit be sure to close your eyes.

You have the words wrong. My most favoritest uncle taught me like this:

Two Irishmen, two Irishmen diggin' in a ditch.
One called the other one a dirty son of a
Peter Murphy had a goat a mountain goat had he
Along came a bumble bee and stung him in the
Cocktail, ginger ale five cents a glass.
If I had some ginger ale you could kiss my
Ask me no questions I'll tell you no more lies
Peter Murphy got hit with a bag of shit right between the eyes.



I love that song. It brings back warm memories. Also, I'm from Wisconsin and both my grandmothers are 100% Norwegian so Ole and Lena (http://www.norskarv.com/jokes1.htm) jokes are always funny.

RogueSavior
08-20-2008, 06:32 PM
You forgot my personal favorite, Sei'Taer...

"Since you were down there" by Heywood Jablome

Ishara
08-20-2008, 06:57 PM
My favourite version is the one from South Park that Wendy sings - it's the closest to the one of my childhood that was way longer than the two above...

Mort
08-20-2008, 07:10 PM
Never heard most of those, and I think you missed a few words =)

tanaww
08-20-2008, 08:30 PM
Never heard most of those, and I think you missed a few words =)

that's kind of the point... The transitions...
Son of a peter and so on...

pops taer
08-20-2008, 09:10 PM
I like the tongue twisters and others like this. Say the following as rapidly as possible....

Good morning this morning. Fine morning this morning. It'll be a fine morning tomorrow morning if it is fine a morning tomorrow morning as it is this morning.

That one is a favorite of the famous Minnie Pearl, a country comedian now in the Country Music Hall of Fame and in others...

Then there is this one if asked to do something for someone..

I would if I could, but then if I could how could I? I couldn't without if I could, could I? Could you?

JSUCamel
08-21-2008, 08:10 AM
"When you're sittin' on the john,
And the toilet paper's gone,
Be a man!
Use your hand!
Diarrhea!"


That's the version I heard. lol

Mort
08-21-2008, 09:00 AM
that's kind of the point... The transitions...
Son of a peter and so on...

It's just it, I don't get why you say Peter instead of something more... shall we say, naughty?

Swear words are good for the soul, they should be used more often.

Gilshalos Sedai
08-21-2008, 09:09 AM
Um... Peter is a "polite" slang term for a penis.

tanaww
08-21-2008, 09:56 AM
Swear words are good for the soul, they should be used more often.

I respectfully concur. I used to have a Mark Twain quote that says this:

Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
- Mark Twain, a Biography

Cary Sedai
08-21-2008, 10:03 AM
It's just it, I don't get why you say Peter instead of something more... shall we say, naughty?


These are "kids" songs. I mean, sorta...

son of a, followed by peter instead of bitch, cocktail used instead of the word cock, ask instead of ass, and so on.

The point is being old enough to know that a naughty word is being alluded to and young enough to feel rather clever that you had a substitute. I know I loved saying it to grown ups, the anticipation of getting in trouble for saying a bad word, but then cleverly not saying it.

It's a kid thing, you see?

Sarevok
08-21-2008, 12:52 PM
These are "kids" songs. I mean, sorta...

son of a, followed by peter instead of bitch, cocktail used instead of the word cock, ask instead of ass, and so on.

The point is being old enough to know that a naughty word is being alluded to and young enough to feel rather clever that you had a substitute. I know I loved saying it to grown ups, the anticipation of getting in trouble for saying a bad word, but then cleverly not saying it.

It's a kid thing, you see?
I do, and I think Mort does too. But he (and me) we kinda confused by the lack of any allusion to something behind "son of a"

tanaww
08-21-2008, 12:55 PM
I do, and I think Mort does too. But he (and me) we kinda confused by the lack of any allusion to something behind "son of a"

Well, Sare, some people actually "swear" by saying "Son of a Peter".

Of course, those motherfucking sons of bitches are lame. I can do WAY better than that.

Gilshalos Sedai
08-21-2008, 12:58 PM
ANd it's also kinda a way to say son of a dick, given Peter's other meaning.

tanaww
08-24-2008, 09:17 PM
ANd it's also kinda a way to say son of a dick, given Peter's other meaning.

Uh... My FIL's name is (was) Richard. I married a son of a Dick ;)

~waits for RS and B to weigh in on that!~