View Full Version : Confession

08-20-2008, 06:45 PM

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, The man said: "Father .... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that."

"There is more to tell, Father... She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.'

The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger. but two people under those circumstance s can easily succumb to the weakness of the fl esh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question."

"And what is that?" asked the priest.

"Should I tell her the war is over?''

08-20-2008, 07:54 PM
Ohhhhh. Too funny!

08-21-2008, 08:09 AM
So that's what happened to Anne Frank...

Gilshalos Sedai
08-21-2008, 08:42 AM
Dav! LOL

Zaela Sedai
08-21-2008, 08:45 AM

08-21-2008, 12:45 PM
Joke = funny

Dav = not sure if it's funny or not...still deciding. :rolleyes:

pops taer
08-21-2008, 12:48 PM
Ah laks at thur wun

08-21-2008, 01:07 PM

08-21-2008, 04:44 PM
Me next, me next!

An 18 year old Jewish girl tells her mother that she has missed her
period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore
and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is

Shouting and crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to
you? I want to know!"

Without answering, the girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an
hour later, a Rolls Royce stops in front of their house. A mature and
distinguished man with grey hair and wearing a yarmulke steps out of the
car and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and
tells them, "Good morning. Your daughter has informed me of the problem.
I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take
charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest
of her life."

"Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath two retail furniture
stores, a deli, a condo in Miami, and a $1,000,000 bank account."

"If a boy is born, my legacy will be a chain of jewelry stores and a
$25,000,000 bank account."

"However, if there is a miscarriage, I'm not sure what to do. What do
you suggest?"

At this point, the mother, who had remained silent up until now, places
a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and says, "You'll try again, right?"

Cary Sedai
08-21-2008, 05:30 PM
~reads this outloud to the rest of the office~

08-21-2008, 05:43 PM
It is funny, but why did they have to be jewish? Playing on the stereotype that all jews are in love with money? Just feels weird.

Yeah, I know, I'm the jokeslayer apprentice.

Bryan Blaire
08-21-2008, 05:51 PM
Sure, let's just play on some stereotypes.

Besides, I've always wanted a Dru-ish Princess. Have to make sure she's had a nose job first though.

08-21-2008, 06:06 PM
Would it help if I told you all that I was racist?

08-21-2008, 06:47 PM
Would it help if I told you all that I was racist?

Well no actually...

08-21-2008, 08:16 PM
Actually, SP, I am not sure one could believe you in court unless you were testifying. LOL

Stereotypical humor is always the best kind. I do remember some memorable Polish jokes, for instance.

Who are the toughest Polacks in the world? Ans. The Fighing Irish of Notre Dame.

08-21-2008, 10:32 PM
Being Jewish myself, I have to admit that the Jewish jokes, while exaggerated, are often very, very close to the truth. And I can tell you that most jokes about Jews were probably made up by Jews themselves. My family sends Jew jokes around like the chicken pox at a kindergarten mosh pit.

Weird Harold
08-22-2008, 03:38 AM
Stereotypical humor is always the best kind. I do remember some memorable Polish jokes, for instance.

How was wire invented?

A Jew and a Scotsman spotted a penny at the same time.

it's not as funny if th epunchline is "two misers."

08-22-2008, 01:06 PM
The same is true for lawyers. You know that group where the 90% give the other 10% a bad name.

A double ring ceremony is where two Polacks take a bath in the same tub.

08-22-2008, 09:12 PM
What do you call it when a bus full of lawyers goes off a cliff?

Not enough.