PDA

View Full Version : Frenzy- I'm sorry, but I just have to....


Brita
08-29-2008, 02:52 PM
My colleague, for some unknown reason, has a massive cucumber sitting on her desk...just sitting there. It has been there for two days now, and every time I walk past it I think of you Frenzy.

Sinistrum
08-29-2008, 03:04 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNtcNpjON5Q

:D

Cary Sedai
08-29-2008, 03:06 PM
"am I neil diamond or what?" :D

Gilshalos Sedai
08-29-2008, 03:06 PM
LMAO, y'all are both dead.

Sinistrum
08-29-2008, 03:07 PM
Just remember that scared shitless out runs mad as hell.

Brita
08-29-2008, 03:07 PM
Posted by Gil: LMAO, y'all are both dead.

I know.... :(

But even knowing that, it is still worth it. :D

ShadowbaneX
08-29-2008, 03:14 PM
I've heard that another way: "I bet I can run faster scared then you can angry" :D

Gilshalos Sedai
08-29-2008, 03:17 PM
Scared shitless outruns mad as hell any day, I think is the quote you're looking for, SBX.


My reply: Not if Mad is Hell is also sneaky.

Ishara
08-29-2008, 03:19 PM
Combat boots are pretty heavy...

Gilshalos Sedai
08-29-2008, 03:23 PM
But quiet.

ShadowbaneX
08-29-2008, 03:30 PM
nah, what I said, is what I heard, just a different way of saying it.

As for combat boots, not that quiet. I know of some scouts in ww2 that had to take off their combat boots and use running shoes to sneak around.

Sinistrum
08-29-2008, 04:23 PM
Owning a pair myself, I can say that combat boots aren't that great to sneak around in. However, my adidas indoor soocer shoes work great for that.

Brita
08-29-2008, 04:26 PM
Now I have this creepy feeling Frenzy is sneaking up behind me with Adidas shoes to exact her revenge.

My only consolation is that she'll have to pass by the cucumber first, and that might distract her long enought for my escape....

Cary Sedai
08-29-2008, 04:32 PM
LMFAO -- now you're really dead :p

Frenzy
08-29-2008, 04:53 PM
You may run fast, but you have to stop sometime. And when you do, I'll be there. Armed.

Just ask Uno.

Birgitte
08-29-2008, 04:55 PM
LMAO
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/collecting_double_takes.png

tanaww
08-29-2008, 06:02 PM
Oh. God.

I blame Zaela Sedai for the fact that B posted that cartoon.

Sinistrum
08-29-2008, 07:14 PM
What would be even more disturbing and/or hysterical is if you did that in a pet store. :p Yes I know, I'm going to hell.

Ivhon
08-29-2008, 07:17 PM
What would be even more disturbing and/or hysterical is if you did that in a pet store. :p Yes I know, I'm going to hell.


This makes Muttley say, "Ueheheheheheheh"

irerancincpkc
08-30-2008, 09:17 AM
My colleague, for some unknown reason, has a massive cucumber sitting on her desk...just sitting there. It has been there for two days now, and every time I walk past it I think of you Frenzy.
How big of a cucumber is it? Like, this big?

http://fiftyonefiftyone.com/uploaded_images/giant-pickle-766063.jpg

:D

tanaww
08-30-2008, 09:22 AM
What would be even more disturbing and/or hysterical is if you did that in a pet store. :p Yes I know, I'm going to hell.

I double dog dare you, Lizard. You and B can go to Petco and debate the merits of guinea pigs vs. hamsters ;)

Davian93
08-30-2008, 12:04 PM
You'd think a guinea pig would hurt too much...


Nice photo of Frenzy.

pops taer
08-30-2008, 05:55 PM
Remind them that Pops is the only one that will ever get away free when the Cuke comes in play!!

Frenzy
08-30-2008, 06:16 PM
Spammer, all i have to say to that picture is: you first.

Cary Sedai
08-30-2008, 06:27 PM
OUCH!
(literally)

irerancincpkc
08-30-2008, 06:36 PM
Oh, I'm so scared. :p

Brita
08-30-2008, 07:42 PM
Hee hee! :D

Anaiya Sedai
08-30-2008, 08:22 PM
could someone link me to that cucumber thread again? :D

Brita
08-31-2008, 12:49 AM
could someone link me to that cucumber thread again? :D

Terez :)

Davian93
08-31-2008, 10:14 AM
Terez :)


On that note...what's gonna happen to all the threads from the Yuku boards? Are we gonna lose them or is Tam gonna import them here?

Or did he already and I just haven't been paying attention.

Bryan Blaire
08-31-2008, 07:38 PM
I think Spammer just made women everywhere that like cucumbers go "Ow".

Zaela Sedai
09-01-2008, 12:14 PM
Oh. God.

I blame Zaela Sedai for the fact that B posted that cartoon.


Oh why ever would you blame me?


(I'm soooo proud of you B~)

Birgitte
09-01-2008, 12:26 PM
Oh why ever would you blame me?


(I'm soooo proud of you B~)


I have no idea why she would blame you. It's crazy!



Thanks, Zae

Frenzy
09-01-2008, 12:35 PM
I think Spammer just made women everywhere that like cucumbers go "Ow".

Oh, I'm so scared. :p
You'd be scared if i ever told you the Lawnmower Man story.

irerancincpkc
09-01-2008, 02:21 PM
You'd be scared if i ever told you the Lawnmower Man story.
What? Did you hurt him for mowing over your cucumber garden? :p

Zaela Sedai
09-02-2008, 08:02 AM
~jumps behind ESC Couch~

~weaves shield of air over self~

Gilshalos Sedai
09-02-2008, 12:01 PM
Duck and cover!


I think he's too young for the Lawnmower Man story, Sis.

Brita
09-02-2008, 02:00 PM
I think he's too young for the Lawnmower Man story, Sis.

I'm not. And now my interest is way piqued!

Frenzy
09-02-2008, 08:08 PM
how old is he? i have standards, after all.

then again, i told the story to RS when he was a minor, and tana didn't hurt me...

tanaww
09-02-2008, 09:14 PM
I have selective memory of the things various TLers have done to my minor children. (It's either all 'Taer's fault or I just don't care) Besides, it's not about age. It's about cool points. Spammer's kind of low on those.

irerancincpkc
09-03-2008, 08:01 AM
how old is he? i have standards, after all.

then again, i told the story to RS when he was a minor, and tana didn't hurt me...
Well I'm not a minor... :D

And my cool points are aplenty. ;)

Terez
09-03-2008, 08:08 AM
Stephen King wrote a short story called Lawnmower Man. I seem to remember it having been made into a movie that had nothing to do with the story King wrote at all, which was fortunate because the story was pretty wacked...

Brita
09-03-2008, 08:35 AM
Oh Ya! I remember that story- vaguely. He was right pervy wasn't he? I had forgotten about that, must have blocked it out of my mind.

Gilshalos Sedai
09-03-2008, 10:15 AM
This has NOTHING to do with Stephen King.

DeiwosTheSkyGod
09-03-2008, 12:41 PM
Can we hear it anyway? :o

Cary Sedai
09-03-2008, 12:56 PM
Seriously! Just tell us already! The suspence is killing me!

Sinistrum
09-03-2008, 01:08 PM
Seriously! Just tell us already! The suspence is killing me!

Victory is ours. :D

Frenzy
09-03-2008, 03:27 PM
Alright fine. NSFW, so keep your giggles to a minimum.

Keep the image of someone pulling on the ripcord of a pull-start lawnmower in mind while reading this. Pulling hard. Trust me, it'll make sense later.

Anyway, my husband tells me this story. He was attending the consumer electronics convention in Las Vegas for his company a few years back, along with several coworkers. The four of them are stilling around at a bar when one of them decides to recount a story of sexual experimentation gone horribly horribly awry. Why any sane man would recount this story with his coworkers is beyond me. Mr. Frenzy assured me the guy wasnít drunk. Iím not so sure.

So the guy, who weíll call Lawnmower Man for reasons which will become painfully clear, says how he wants to up his kink by experimenting with anal stimulation. His wife wants nothing to do with it. He begs and pleads with her to do it, and she relents enough to go to an adult toy store with him. There they find a string of pearls, and he again begs and pleads with her to give them a try.

A string of pearls, if you donít know, is a group of glass or plastic beads strung on a string, similar to its namesake necklace of pearls. Their use involves insertion into the orifice of choice, in this case the ass of the Lawnmower Manís wife, as well as their removal. The missus is highly skeptical, but Lawnmower man tries his best to convince her to just give them a try, just one time.

She agreed, but on one condition: You first.

He graciously accepts her terms, so they buy the toy and head home to give it a try. As mentioned earlier, this toy is used by inserting the beads one at a time into the orifice of choice, slowly and carefully to increase the sensation. So she slowly and carefully administers the toy into his unsuspecting anal sphincter, much to the delight of her husband. Then it came time to remove the toy. Usually this is also done slowly and carefully. But the wife had other ideas.

She grabbed the end and yanked on it like she was starting a lawnmower.

Lawnmower Man then regaled his coworkers with graphic descriptions of the agony he went through. Apparently his wife has a strong arm on her. Once he got over it, he wisely decided not to pursue his original plan with the string of pearls.

Though he did tell his coworkers this story, so how wise can he be? I told Mr. Frenzy never to let me know which of his coworkers was the Lawnmower Man, because there was no way in hell I could keep a straight face in front of the guy. i couldn't even go to the store where they all worked without giggling. To this day i still can't get near the place without making lawnmower starting noises and giggling.

Brita
09-03-2008, 03:36 PM
:eek: That is one mean missus! :eek:

Now, you mentioned this to fighten us about you...so are you sure this was a "friend", Frenzy? ;)

Cary Sedai
09-03-2008, 03:38 PM
LMAO :D

The poor lawnmower man!

tanaww
09-03-2008, 03:53 PM
ROFLMAO

That's just awesome. Serves him right I say.

Frenzy
09-03-2008, 03:54 PM
No, that isn't an autobiographical story. i have other, more painful ways to humiliate those who need it.

Sinistrum
09-03-2008, 04:00 PM
And strangely enough, most of them involve cucumbers...

DeiwosTheSkyGod
09-03-2008, 04:02 PM
Oh, that's not so bad. I know someone with a worse story involving a baseball bat ;)

Cary Sedai
09-03-2008, 04:04 PM
:eek:

Please don't tell us anymore.

tanaww
09-03-2008, 04:05 PM
Oh, that's not so bad. I know someone with a worse story involving a baseball bat ;)

While he was home recently, our oldest son Squidward regaled us with tales of young sailors and vegetable experiments. Imagine having to explain to the military doc (even if it is the Gavy) why the medics had to extract the zucchini and from where. Apparently it happened twice in one night. One of them was a guy...

What makes it worse than DC's baseball story is the imagery of having to explain to a field grade officer and your entire chain of command afterwards.

DeiwosTheSkyGod
09-03-2008, 04:21 PM
What makes it worse than DC's baseball story is the imagery of having to explain to a field grade officer and your entire chain of command afterwards.

True. My mom's an emergency room nurse, and she has a startling number of stories where the person just happened to sit on a vegetable in just the right way...

tanaww
09-03-2008, 04:23 PM
True. My mom's an emergency room nurse, and she has a startling number of stories where the person just happened to sit on a vegetable in just the right way...

I want to know how she keeps a straight face. Please. How can you not call "bullshit!" on that?

Frenzy
09-03-2008, 08:53 PM
A friend of mine did a stint in the ER. The worst he had to deal with was one woman who used mayo as lube, but didn't clean up afterwards. She arrived in the ER 5 days later.

mayonaisse, in a warm moist environment, for five days....

irerancincpkc
09-03-2008, 10:10 PM
Oh dear... :eek:

Sarevok
09-04-2008, 04:14 AM
A friend of mine used to work at a hospital, one thing he told us about was of a couple who said they couldn't have kids. It turned out they didn't know where to put his manhood into her... :|

Davian93
09-04-2008, 07:30 AM
A friend of mine used to work at a hospital, one thing he told us about was of a couple who said they couldn't have kids. It turned out they didn't know where to put his manhood into her... :|


~shudders~

Did they go to school in Wasilla, Alaska?

tanaww
09-04-2008, 07:52 AM
~shudders~

Did they go to school in Wasilla, Alaska?

Don't MAKE me snort coffee through my nose Davian. I mean it.

irerancincpkc
09-04-2008, 08:26 AM
~shudders~

Did they go to school in Wasilla, Alaska?
:eek: :D :D :D :D :D :eek:

Ozymandias
09-04-2008, 10:50 PM
ROFLMAO

That's just awesome. Serves him right I say.


Why the hell does it serve him right? His wife could have said no, whenever! Don't be cruel. I would've divorced her.

Davian93
09-05-2008, 07:07 AM
Why the hell does it serve him right? His wife could have said no, whenever! Don't be cruel. I would've divorced her.


She was probably a Christian.

Ishara
09-05-2008, 11:59 AM
Gee Dav, that wasn't antagonistic. ;)

Cary Sedai
09-05-2008, 12:09 PM
Why the hell does it serve him right? His wife could have said no, whenever! Don't be cruel. I would've divorced her.

Divorcing her woulda been cruel, too, btw.

I dont' think he deserved it. Playing is fun! Trying new things is fun! Being open and experimental with sex is a good thing! If it's your thing anyhow, and you feel comfortable doing it.

She just needs more practice! ;)

Sex is natural - sex is good
Not everybody does it
But everybody should
Sex is natural - sex is fun
Sex is best when it's....one on one
one on one

:D

Davian93
09-05-2008, 12:11 PM
Gee Dav, that wasn't antagonistic. ;)

~innocently~

Whatever do you mean?

Frenzy
09-05-2008, 01:35 PM
Why the hell does it serve him right? His wife could have said no, whenever! Don't be cruel. I would've divorced her.
Why?