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View Full Version : The only thing I ever did write


Figbiscuit
09-04-2012, 10:55 AM
Posted to FB: 29th June 2009. This is the only piece of creative writing I have ever done as an adult. Thought I'd see what you all thunk.

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For those of you who may have had your head stuck in the sand these past few days, I've had a bit of a hellish week. In the past, this would have caused me to come home and bury my head in the poison of my choice, in an attempt to obliterate the residual stress. Now, however, I have a dog. Where previously walking was something to be done under sufference, and to be honest, sometimes still is, I have discovered that owning a dog is a great way to release said stress without all the other rubbish that comes with the poison. Don't get me wrong, I know this is not news to anyone except me, but having a dog actually makes walking fun.

So I set off tonight with the intention to walk to Gooseeye. ( For some reason I'm not sure how to spell that despite seeing it in a written format only a few hundred times). The sky is a bit overcast so I wasn't sure whether I'd make it, but as I now also possess a waterproof dog walking coat I thought what the hell, and set off.

After steaming up Fell Lane at just short of warp speed, I was working up quite a lather. Just past the Three Horses I came upon that Public Footpath on the left. Bella has come into season today, which always means stopping approximately once every 10 feet or so so she can either a) scent mark or b) sniff another dogs expellations. And so, the desire to get away from other dogs scents overcoming me, and always having wondered where the path goes, I recklessly took it.

Initially I was not impressed. It was LITTERED with broken glass. Typical, I thought, awkwardly trying to edge Bella round it. Following the path down, it heads through a field with a bridge at the bottom, over a beck. More than likely the same beck I've seen on other walks further up the moors. It's much smaller up there. We passed a horse, which Bella was thrilled about. Thankfully the horse was not so fussed, as it was not in anyway penned into one field and horses are considerably larger than me and I didn't want it to become agitated and trample me. I've heard it can happen. However, it was also completely blindfolded so I figured that if I kept Bella moving we should be safe. You should always take care around animals in the wild you know.

We crossed the bridge and I made the decision to turn left and follow the path along the beck. How lovely is it down there?! We followed the path as it wended its way along the bank, for quite some time. We had to cross tributaries (pretty good for a dog who wouldn't go anywhere near running water 6 months ago), and duck under low flying branches, or grasses in Bellas case.

I followed it for quite some time, enjoying the quiet but also wary of crazies, drunks and other nefarious souls who might be appreciating the solitude for their own suspicious reasons. The further I walked, the more anxious I became, until finally I had to firmly shake myself by the mind and pull myself together. Bella was loving it and it was a lot like being in the Famous Five. An experience not to be sniffed at, I realised. Childhood dreams coming true right here and now. Who was going to bother me out here? There was no-one around.

Eventually I came to a break in the path, where the stream was quite wide - wider than I wanted to attempt with an over-exuberant dog at the other end of the lead. I didn't fancy a wetting. To my right was a fallen down tree, of which I immediately saw the general den making, fire lighting and quiet place prospects of. Just as I was congratulating myself on finding somewhere so lovely, all by myself, where it would be lovely to sit with a book and the dog on a nice day, I turned round and there was a teenage boy behind me! I have absolutely no idea where he came from but he frightened me silly. He asked me whether I'd seen a load of people 'up there', to which I said no, and I moved aside to let him past. Seriously, it was like he'd fallen out of a tree.

So I let him past and immediately turning back the way I came, I ran like the wind. Which Bella thought was absolutely fantastic, totally unphased by the tension I was emanating from my every pore. We pelted down the path through the dark and twisted woods, only pausing to look over my shoulder every so often to make sure I was still alone. All the way back I berated myself for being silly enough to let the crazy psycho killer know that there was no-one else around.

I breathed a sign of relief on sight of the bridge. Following the path back up I got totally confused for a good two or three seconds, as the horses were now on the other side of me. And there were two. Despite there very clearly only being one when I walked down, not 45 minutes before. Anyway, once I'd realised that obviously they'd just walked through from the other field, due to the distinct lack of fencing mentioned earlier on I calmed down and saw the Lamp Post. (OK, I didn't really see the Lamp Post, nor the country of Ward Drobe. I wanted too though).

Anyway, I managed to find the exit from the dark and scary countryside and made it safely back to civilisation. That was plenty nuff excitement for one walk.

Tsofu
09-04-2012, 01:01 PM
Hello Figbiscuit,

You've an easy to follow casual style to your writing that I appreciate. Far too much of what I come across here and on other writing sites (Slow Trains) various blogs and what have you, are so self conscious that it hurts to read them. Not so with yours. Not being British, I had a bit of trouble with a few idiomatic words but no quibble really. Although I did take a minute to realize the Three Horses was not actually three horses.

Your phrase, '...recklessly took it...' led me to think you were going to end up in a quagmire or needing rescuing from, I don't know, something. I wanted more of some things in your story. More description of, '...how lovely is it down there?!' for instance. None of this is meant to denigrate what you've written, far from it. I'm just saying what your writing made me want to know more about. And more about why Bella used to be so repelled by water courses.

So, on the whole, I would say, keep at it. I am presuming that your writing sample was initially done mostly as a description of that walk for your friends? Rather than a determined step towards becoming a published writer? One thing that -it seems to me- writers do as a matter of course, is title their efforts. It gives the reader a peek into what's what before we step into your world.

Thank you for sharing your writing, Figbiscuit.

Tsofu

PS, the horse wasn't blindfolded, he/she was wearing a fly-mask, which doesn't impede their vision and saves them a lot of aggravation.

Figbiscuit
09-05-2012, 10:01 AM
Thank you for your kind comments :)

It was indeed just a short story, following a walk with my dog, and about 90% of my fb friends know the area I meant, hence my lack of description. I take your point however, it is something I shall note if I do this again. It was also the first time in my life I experienced a story which wrote itself - something I have always craved and never had. It really had written itself in my head by the time I got home, all I needed to do was transfer it to paper and tidy it up a little.

Those friends of mine also know me well enough to know that me lurching off the main road onto a little known path is a little out of character. I have since been back to the area numerous times with the dog and my beloved, and we've found a lovely little walk through the woods if we carry on past the place I stopped initially.

And the Three Horses is a pub, hehe, but not being local to the area I would not expect you to know that :D

I hadn't realised I'd missed the title, which for the sake of simplicity was just:

I Went on an Adventure...

Figbiscuit
09-10-2012, 04:26 PM
Nobody has anything else to say? NOBODY?? I bear my soul, put my life's creative works up here for you all to tear apart (or bask in my amazing skills), and I get NOTHING? Pah.

eht slat meit
09-10-2012, 10:06 PM
Nobody has anything else to say? NOBODY?? I bear my soul, put my life's creative works up here for you all to tear apart (or bask in my amazing skills), and I get NOTHING? Pah.

I submit all of my creative writing anonymously like a giant-sized weenie. No way in hell I'm going to critique someone else's!

Figbiscuit
09-11-2012, 06:52 AM
You could just tell me it's awesome and you wish you could write so naturally? :D

Tomp
09-11-2012, 06:25 PM
To start I would like to say that I don't feel comfortable critiquing someone else's writing.
I know of my own shortcomings in this field.

It was quite nice and easy to follow.


It could have included some more description.
Maybe some sounds, smells or tactile sensation.
Perhaps your feelings of anxiety could have been presented with a physical sensaton.

But that's just a question of style.

Figbiscuit
09-12-2012, 07:58 AM
Well, both of your comments are inspiring me to maybe flesh it out a little further, see if I can bring it up to short story length...is there a standard length for short stories?

GonzoTheGreat
09-12-2012, 08:17 AM
...is there a standard length for short stories?
Yes, but no one ever observes that rule anyway.
Yes, but no one knows what it is.
No.

Take your pick of the above, or make up your own excuse for not quite meeting the standard.