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View Full Version : Been a while since I posted a jest!!! So????


pops taer
09-04-2008, 09:56 AM
Retirement Question?

I've often been asked, 'What do you do now that you're retired?'

I say, 'Well, I don't have much of a chemical background but one of the things I enjoy the most is turning beer into urine!'

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wheres my paper




The irate customer calling the newspaper offices, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

Ma'am, said the employee, today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered 'til Sunday.

There was quite a pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition.

'So that's why no one was in church today!!'

----------------
Bubba Goes to Church!!

Bubba goes to the revival and listens to the preacher.

After awhile the preacher asks anyone with needs to be prayed over
To come forward to the front at the altar.


Bubba gets in line, and when it's his turn the preacher asks: "Bubba, what do you want me to pray about for you?"


Bubba replies:
"Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."


The preacher puts one finger in Bubba's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Bubba's head and prays and prays.


After a few minutes, the preacher removes his hands,
Stands back and asks : "Bubba, how is your hearing now?"


Bubba says,
"'I don't know, Reverend, it ain't until next Wednesday."


-----------------

THE FAMILY TREE OF
VINCENT VAN GOGH

His dizzy aunt:
Verti Gogh

The brother who ate prunes:
Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store:
Stop n Gogh

The grandfather from Yugoslavia :
U Gogh

The cousin from Illinois :
Chica Gogh

His magician uncle:
Where-diddy Gogh

His Mexican cousin:
Amee Gogh

The Mexican cousin's American half-brother:
Gring Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach:
Wells-far Gogh

The constipated uncle:
Can' t Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt:
Tang Gogh

The bird lover uncle:
Flamin Gogh

The fruit loving cousin:
Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking:
Way-to-Gogh

The little bouncy nephew:
Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco:
Go Gogh

And his niece who travels the country in an RV:
Winnie Bay Gogh

I saw you smiling - there ya Gogh ! Enjoy your day

Gilshalos Sedai
09-04-2008, 10:03 AM
LOL, thanks, Pops!

Brita
09-04-2008, 11:08 AM
Cute pops! And I like your new avatar- makes me feel warm and cozy.

Sarevok
09-04-2008, 02:18 PM
Took me a while to understand the Van Gogh ones... since Van Gogh is pronounced like uhm... closest to is would be Gokh or Gog...

Brita
09-04-2008, 02:23 PM
Took me a while to understand the Van Gogh ones... since Van Gogh is pronounced like uhm... closest to is would be Gokh or Gog...

LOL! Ya, that wouldn't make much sense.

Crispin's Crispian
09-04-2008, 02:27 PM
So it would be funnier to say something like,

Vincent's distant cousin who founded a soft drink company: Gogh-a-gola?

Brita
09-04-2008, 02:34 PM
Or

Vincent's ancestor Obama could woo the crowds:
He was a talented dema gog

pops taer
09-06-2008, 04:27 PM
You must always remember that Pops jokes are to be read in 'butchered English.'

I am glad you finally figured them out though!! I guess I'm going to have to do you like I did PD. Teach you how to speak 'redneck' then you will be properly prepared for my jokes...LOL