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GonzoTheGreat
06-14-2015, 05:49 AM
Occasionally, people remark that it is sexist (and hence wrong) that children are automatically given the surname of the father. One proposed solution is to simply give both parents' surname to the child, but that is impractical. After a mere 10 generations, a child would then have over a thousand surnames, which simply doesn't fit in a Tweet. So some choice has to be made.
The standard suggestion is to let the parents choose, but that's a recipe for strive and divorce. Letting the child choose wouldn't be much better, and that would only work when the child was old enough to make such a choice anyway.
My suggestion for this problem is to simply give boys the name of the father, and girls the name of the mother. That way, the vast majority of cases could be handled automatically, and in the few cases where things weren't simple a bunch of lawyers could earn a comfortable living.

However, yesterday I suddenly realised that gay marriage totally demolishes my pretty scheme. This, obviously, shows that reason itself is against gay marriage. The detail that my scheme is not actually used anywhere at all is surely irrelevant.

Daekyras
06-14-2015, 06:28 AM
Occasionally, people remark that it is sexist (and hence wrong) that children are automatically given the surname of the father. One proposed solution is to simply give both parents' surname to the child, but that is impractical. After a mere 10 generations, a child would then have over a thousand surnames, which simply doesn't fit in a Tweet. So some choice has to be made.
The standard suggestion is to let the parents choose, but that's a recipe for strive and divorce. Letting the child choose wouldn't be much better, and that would only work when the child was old enough to make such a choice anyway.
My suggestion for this problem is to simply give boys the name of the father, and girls the name of the mother. That way, the vast majority of cases could be handled automatically, and in the few cases where things weren't simple a bunch of lawyers could earn a comfortable living.

However, yesterday I suddenly realised that gay marriage totally demolishes my pretty scheme. This, obviously, shows that reason itself is against gay marriage. The detail that my scheme is not actually used anywhere at all is surely irrelevant.

The child would get the name of the genetic parent. BOOM, solved.

Two gay men: Barry Dawkins and Hank Buttress.

If Barry is the genetic father, be the child male or female, they are called Dawkins.

If Hank is the father genetically, then Buttress is the name.

Two gay women: Michelle Calm and Helen Smelter

if Michelle is the egg supplier, Calm it is.

If Helen is genetic mother, Smelter it is.

In cases of adoption or sperm and egg both being donated the parents can flip a coin. The only fair way.

GonzoTheGreat
06-14-2015, 06:44 AM
Flipping coins will only work as long as there are coins to flip. In a few years time, all payments will be handled with mobile phones and such, which in turn will be replaced by smart wrist watches (or eShoes, or whatever). Flipping those won't be particularly fair, and could be very expensive.

Plus, by that time it may very well be possible for two men or two women to have a child together. It's likely that (at least at first) the women could only have female children, but that still leaves the problem of which name to give the kid.

Daekyras
06-14-2015, 07:33 AM
Flipping coins will only work as long as there are coins to flip. In a few years time, all payments will be handled with mobile phones and such, which in turn will be replaced by smart wrist watches (or eShoes, or whatever). Flipping those won't be particularly fair, and could be very expensive.

Plus, by that time it may very well be possible for two men or two women to have a child together. It's likely that (at least at first) the women could only have female children, but that still leaves the problem of which name to give the kid.

If you are going to start introducing intangibles like that then there is no answer to the problem.....unless, we can offer intangibles as answers.

so, in the event that all of you have said above then we use the family name sorting hat. It is similar to the sorting hat from harry potter but is less flaky. And more culturally diverse.

parent: sorting hat, sorting hat what name should our child have?

Hat: hmmmm....hmmmm. ...A tough one this...The mother is a Smith but the father is....hmmmm....yes, yes, we will name her after her daddy...GARCIA it is!!!

Mother: wooooooohhhh!!!

Father: woo.....wait, hold on, my name is mckenna!!!!

Hat: ooooohhhhh snap!!!

Zombie Sammael
06-14-2015, 11:06 AM
My solution: everyone gets a double-barrelled surname, which is the names of their parents combined. Now, obviously that only solves the problem for one generation. So for subsequent generations, the first surname of the mother is combined with the second surname of the father. For homosexual male couples, the genetic father serves as the male, and for homosexual female couples, the genetic (or birth, given the exciting things they can do with implanting ova these days) mother serves as the female. So a few examples:

Brian Llewelyn-Rifkin and Gertrude Appleton-Spoof have a child, Dan. His name is Dan Appleton-Rifkin.

Bill Gaye-Pineapple and Robert Loveman-Zucchini have a child, Susannah. Bill is her genetic father. Her name is Susannah Gaye-Zuchinni.

Ellen Inkling-Harper and Keely Habit-Former have a child, Yurg. Keely gives birth to the baby. It's name is Yurg Habit-Harper.

Ronda Florp-Buttersnatch and Olivia Oil-Dipp adopt a child. This is where things get complicated and they can basically give it any old name, so it is called Bob Rabbit-Rabbit. Poor kid.

Nazbaque
06-14-2015, 12:42 PM
Occasionally, people remark that it is sexist (and hence wrong) that children are automatically given the surname of the father.

Well there is a reason for it in genetics. Each parent gives a child half their genes. This is an exact 50-50. However what one gets from their grandparents won't likely be an exact 25-25-25-25. It's possible though extremely unlikely that a child and their grandparent don't share a single chromosome. The only exception to this uncertainty is the y-chromosome. A son gets it from his father who got it from his father who got it from his father and so on. And because of the y-chromosome behaves in this fashion a girl can be sure that she shares one of her x-chromosomes with her father's mother while theoretically there might be nothing in common with her and her mother's mother. So getting your father's surname has this fact to back it up. How meaningful it is in the whole thing is questionable and it certainly can't be claimed as the original reason as our knowledge on genetics is predated by this custom by more than a thousand years.

GonzoTheGreat
06-14-2015, 01:26 PM
And because of the y-chromosome behaves in this fashion a girl can be sure that she shares one of her x-chromosomes with her father's mother while theoretically there might be nothing in common with her and her mother's mother.
I think there's a bit* more than 25% chance that she'll have inherited her maternal grandmother's mitochondrial DNA, actually.

* How much more I'll leave as an exercise for the readers.

Nazbaque
06-14-2015, 02:30 PM
I think there's a bit* more than 25% chance that she'll have inherited her maternal grandmother's mitochondrial DNA, actually.

* How much more I'll leave as an exercise for the readers.

But that is merely a chance. All that is certain in genetics is that you get 50-50 from your parents, a girl shares an x-chromosome with her father's mother and a boy's y-chromosome has been passed down from his father's father's father's father's ... father's father.

Davian93
06-14-2015, 03:25 PM
A bigger arguments is the poor turtles...

http://craphound.com/images/boxturtlemarriage.jpg

Zombie Sammael
06-14-2015, 07:18 PM
A bigger arguments is the poor turtles...

http://craphound.com/images/boxturtlemarriage.jpg

That's a tortoise.

Nazbaque
06-14-2015, 07:22 PM
That's a tortoise.

That's right. There is nothing poor about turtles especially the ones in New York

GonzoTheGreat
06-15-2015, 04:35 AM
But that is merely a chance. All that is certain in genetics is that you get 50-50 from your parents, a girl shares an x-chromosome with her father's mother and a boy's y-chromosome has been passed down from his father's father's father's father's ... father's father.I am happy to inform you that you failed this particular test. :p

That's right. There is nothing poor about turtles especially the ones in New York
But turtles in New York aren't poor; they are ninjas. That's a very well known fact, isn't it?

Nazbaque
06-15-2015, 04:43 AM
I am happy to inform you that you failed this particular test.

I know exactly what you meant and I know you were wrong and thus your test was flawed.

Lupusdeusest
06-15-2015, 04:50 AM
My solution: everyone gets a double-barrelled surname, which is the names of their parents combined. Now, obviously that only solves the problem for one generation. So for subsequent generations, the first surname of the mother is combined with the second surname of the father. For homosexual male couples, the genetic father serves as the male, and for homosexual female couples, the genetic (or birth, given the exciting things they can do with implanting ova these days) mother serves as the female. So a few examples:

Brian Llewelyn-Rifkin and Gertrude Appleton-Spoof have a child, Dan. His name is Dan Appleton-Rifkin.

Bill Gaye-Pineapple and Robert Loveman-Zucchini have a child, Susannah. Bill is her genetic father. Her name is Susannah Gaye-Zuchinni.

Ellen Inkling-Harper and Keely Habit-Former have a child, Yurg. Keely gives birth to the baby. It's name is Yurg Habit-Harper.

Ronda Florp-Buttersnatch and Olivia Oil-Dipp adopt a child. This is where things get complicated and they can basically give it any old name, so it is called Bob Rabbit-Rabbit. Poor kid.

What about homosexual couples where one partner is trans and therefore both genetically contribute? Should there be a special rule for it? Otherwise the child may get confused about its parentage and think it is actually a giant velociraptor.

Daekyras
06-15-2015, 04:57 AM
What about homosexual couples where one partner is trans and therefore both genetically contribute? Should there be a special rule for it? Otherwise the child may get confused about its parentage and think it is actually a giant velociraptor.

Ummmm, spoilers for Jurassic World....

Davian93
06-15-2015, 07:38 AM
Crazy thought...how about the parents just pick whichever name they want and we go from there?

GonzoTheGreat
06-15-2015, 08:23 AM
Crazy thought...how about the parents just pick whichever name they want and we go from there?
I think that one counts as an attack on "traditional marriage". As such, it is indeed crazy. :p

Nazbaque
06-15-2015, 02:57 PM
Crazy thought...how about the parents just pick whichever name they want and we go from there?

Well seeing as the people who complain about this are the ones who have not managed to get a satisfactory marriage going and are blaming it on society in general that's not really a working solution.

Zombie Sammael
06-15-2015, 07:22 PM
What about homosexual couples where one partner is trans and therefore both genetically contribute? Should there be a special rule for it? Otherwise the child may get confused about its parentage and think it is actually a giant velociraptor.

In that case the kid can puck its own name. I'm not going to argue with a giant velociraptor.