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  #21  
Old 04-23-2017, 06:45 PM
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It honestly sounds like you don't really have anything in common with them and aren't or at least shouldn't be real friends with them.
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"We caught them in an alley on skid row in downtown Philly and brought them down with Uzi's and dogs. I beat the shit out of one of the guys for resisting arrest. After that, I went home, fried up some tofu with strawberry preserves and melon sticky rice, laid down on the couch with my snuggie and ate rose petals in sweet daisy wine sauce and watched Mamma Mia on DVD and then cried myself to sleep."

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  #22  
Old 04-23-2017, 07:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Davian93 View Post
It honestly sounds like you don't really have anything in common with them and aren't or at least shouldn't be real friends with them.
Ya-
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  #23  
Old 04-23-2017, 07:43 PM
Great Lord of the Dark Great Lord of the Dark is offline
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Sei'Taer was great:
"I'm a Libertarian."
"I write government regulations."
"Try some of Pops' moonshine."
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  #24  
Old 04-23-2017, 09:18 PM
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Sei'Taer was great:
"I'm a Libertarian."
"I write government regulations."
"Try some of Pops' moonshine."
See...moonshine!
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  #25  
Old 04-23-2017, 09:23 PM
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Everyone loves moonshine.
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"We caught them in an alley on skid row in downtown Philly and brought them down with Uzi's and dogs. I beat the shit out of one of the guys for resisting arrest. After that, I went home, fried up some tofu with strawberry preserves and melon sticky rice, laid down on the couch with my snuggie and ate rose petals in sweet daisy wine sauce and watched Mamma Mia on DVD and then cried myself to sleep."

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  #26  
Old 04-24-2017, 08:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Great Lord of the Dark View Post
Sei'Taer was great:
"I'm a Libertarian."
"I write government regulations."
"Try some of Pops' moonshine."
LOL!
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  #27  
Old 04-24-2017, 03:38 PM
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Did I mention it was unregulated?
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  #28  
Old 04-24-2017, 04:05 PM
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About 5.5 years ago I stopped hanging out with all the people I thought were my friends but made me unhappy.
Then I had lots of therapy.
Then I stopped trying to be friends with other people just because we had children of similar ages.
Now I have 1 amazing friend who is a librarian, and a lover of many things I love. We don't agree on everything but that just makes the friendship better.
I don't miss the circle of 10+ people that made me unhappy, but I've never much liked hanging out in groups.
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  #29  
Old 04-24-2017, 08:04 PM
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Did I mention it was unregulated?
You had me at moonshine...
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"We caught them in an alley on skid row in downtown Philly and brought them down with Uzi's and dogs. I beat the shit out of one of the guys for resisting arrest. After that, I went home, fried up some tofu with strawberry preserves and melon sticky rice, laid down on the couch with my snuggie and ate rose petals in sweet daisy wine sauce and watched Mamma Mia on DVD and then cried myself to sleep."

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  #30  
Old 07-25-2017, 06:56 AM
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I have similar issues with work. I have strong opinions on how certain things should be organized and/or done but I have 0 interest in conflict. Ideally, I'd just like to make all the rules, tell people what they should do and then they do that and never talk to me again. Unfortunately the world doesn't really work like that so last year I had (another) burnout. Super fun while you're also pregnant, btw (and no, it wasn't the pregnancy hormones, the burnout "broke" a month before I got knocked up). Because I couldn't deal with idiots being idiots and that being good enough because apparently using an excel sheet is too hard.

So now I changed functions and work alone, not as part of a team. it's awesome.
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  #31  
Old 07-25-2017, 07:07 AM
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Idiots being idiots is, obviously, proof that the world is the product of Intelligent Design. What it says about the Designer I'll leave as an exercise for the readers.
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  #32  
Old 07-25-2017, 09:38 AM
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I have similar issues with work. I have strong opinions on how certain things should be organized and/or done but I have 0 interest in conflict. Ideally, I'd just like to make all the rules, tell people what they should do and then they do that and never talk to me again. Unfortunately the world doesn't really work like that so last year I had (another) burnout. Super fun while you're also pregnant, btw (and no, it wasn't the pregnancy hormones, the burnout "broke" a month before I got knocked up). Because I couldn't deal with idiots being idiots and that being good enough because apparently using an excel sheet is too hard.

So now I changed functions and work alone, not as part of a team. it's awesome.
As a manager, I basically am used to always dealing with idiots being idiots. It's part of my daily "fun". I would go insane if I dwelled on the average stupidity I deal with on a daily basis.

My branch also provides customer support services for security and IT issues...the barrage of idiocy that they see and I see when things get elevated are just surreal.

I hate people.
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"We caught them in an alley on skid row in downtown Philly and brought them down with Uzi's and dogs. I beat the shit out of one of the guys for resisting arrest. After that, I went home, fried up some tofu with strawberry preserves and melon sticky rice, laid down on the couch with my snuggie and ate rose petals in sweet daisy wine sauce and watched Mamma Mia on DVD and then cried myself to sleep."

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  #33  
Old 07-25-2017, 12:29 PM
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The thing that really sucks about customer service areas and their dealings with idiots is that they are always rude

I am pretty okay (read: I can stand them when I have to deal with them) with idiots as long as they are nice and kind of aware they're asking dumb questions, etc.

But customer service is relentless stupidity mixed with some of maybe the most rude humans that could possibly exist.
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  #34  
Old 07-25-2017, 12:44 PM
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The thing that really sucks about customer service areas and their dealings with idiots is that they are always rude

I am pretty okay (read: I can stand them when I have to deal with them) with idiots as long as they are nice and kind of aware they're asking dumb questions, etc.

But customer service is relentless stupidity mixed with some of maybe the most rude humans that could possibly exist.
Its amazing that that sort of issue extends even to internal support within an organization. People be stupid.
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"We caught them in an alley on skid row in downtown Philly and brought them down with Uzi's and dogs. I beat the shit out of one of the guys for resisting arrest. After that, I went home, fried up some tofu with strawberry preserves and melon sticky rice, laid down on the couch with my snuggie and ate rose petals in sweet daisy wine sauce and watched Mamma Mia on DVD and then cried myself to sleep."

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  #35  
Old 07-25-2017, 01:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Davian93 View Post
Its amazing that that sort of issue extends even to internal support within an organization. People be stupid.
There's a reason we can't have nice things...and that reason is people. Doesn't matter where they are or what you do or what they do, you are surrounded by assholes.

And may God have mercy on anyone that works in a call centre. Where it's your job having to fix anonymous people's problems, people who, by definition have just had something go wrong, and cannot even loo you in the eye, are likely entitled assholes that feel that you've fucked up once already for not having their thing working to begin with. Any problems that appear from there just add to the things you've fucked up...and let's not forget they're likely out-sources contract workers, so they're an additional expense against the profit margins and want that to be made smaller and smaller.
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  #36  
Old 07-27-2017, 03:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Davian93 View Post
As a manager, I basically am used to always dealing with idiots being idiots. It's part of my daily "fun". I would go insane if I dwelled on the average stupidity I deal with on a daily basis.

My branch also provides customer support services for security and IT issues...the barrage of idiocy that they see and I see when things get elevated are just surreal.

I hate people.
in my case, half the time it's that they don't know better. That's fine. I'll just tell them what to do, several times if need be and it'll all work out. Kumbaya.

But the other half, they are either "special" or know better or can't be bothered to do stuff the correct way. and that is truly infuriating.
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  #37  
Old 08-12-2017, 06:23 PM
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That sounds terrible Brita.

I've been quite the "people pleaser" in my life. And it gets both tiresome and boring.

I don't know what will work for you, but for me I just walked from some of my regular circles and never looked back.

And you'll be surprised how many of these groups WON'T ask after you. Won't call inviting you to events. And these are the ones I still never Grace the door of, if you follow me
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  #38  
Old 08-14-2017, 03:59 AM
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I'm the kind of person who hates confrontations and arguments. So my neighbor and I have a very strict "No Trump talk" since the beginning of the year. Pretty much the only thing we can discuss freely now is computer games - and since we don't play the same ones, conversation has rather dried up. Thank goodness for crossword puzzles. It gives us something to say when we go out for Sunday Lunch together.

Part of the reason I hate confrontations is because, while I like to think I'm reasonably intelligent, I have awful debating skills. When he says something stupid like, "I think Trump is a reasonable man who wants to improve our country!" I get so dumbfounded I can't think of any way to respond. I mean - what on earth can you say in the face of such ... profound ... UGH! So I bite my tongue and say nothing. Very loudly.

Brita, I'd love to add to the good advice you've gotten, but it looks like all the good answers have been given. As long as your husband is friends with him/them, then if you are willing to suffer "polite conversation" for his sake, do so. If it makes you genuinely miserable, then ask him if he can visit them without you. It should be at least as important to him to make you happy as the reverse.

Or, get very drunk (on Pop's moonshine?) and let 'er rip!
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  #39  
Old 08-17-2017, 02:22 PM
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Or, get very drunk (on Pop's moonshine?) and let 'er rip!
Ya, this happened a couple of weeks ago. Except it was a mix of local beer and delicious spicy caesar's that loosened the tongue.

This is what happened: They went on for 10 minutes about a known touchy subject between us while I tried to keep my mouth shut. Finally, I said one sentence to the contrary (I'm not even exaggerating)- and she stormed off in anger saying "We are never going to agree about this!"

I was too frustrated and furious to hide my feelings any more. I basically laid it all on the line, and the conversation ended with an understanding that one party can't talk as much as they want about a controversial subject unless they are ready to hear the opposing side. And if they are not ready to hear an opposing side, don't bring it up. However, it was not a pleasant conversation and I am not sure fences were mended. I was quite angry and she was quite upset.

So yes, strained polite conversation from now on.

Also, I haven't seen them since, so still not sure how it will go.
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Last edited by Brita; 08-17-2017 at 02:38 PM.
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  #40  
Old 08-17-2017, 02:28 PM
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And you'll be surprised how many of these groups WON'T ask after you. Won't call inviting you to events. And these are the ones I still never Grace the door of, if you follow me
Funny (in a completely not funny way) story: my husband and I also stopped Gracing the door of a particular Group. And we were very involved with this Group. The only time someone came around after we left, was when my husband was having very serious medical issues and the...Leader of this group popped by to inquire about the state of my husband's soul and basically if we were scared enough to come back. Never before, and never since.

I have never been so glad to leave a Group in my whole life.
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