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  #1  
Old 07-14-2012, 05:27 AM
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Default AMOL Excerpts (prologue, chapters 1 and 11)

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Old 07-14-2012, 05:43 AM
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Two issues with this:

1. Rand and Perrin already essentially had this conversation back in LOC.

2.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TPOD Prologue, Deceptive Appearances
A servant approached, a slim graceful young man clad all in white, impossibly handsome, bowing as he presented a crystal goblet on a silver tray. He smiled, but it did not touch his black eyes, eyes more lifeless than simply dead. Most men would have felt uncomfortable having that gaze on them. Moridin merely took the goblet and motioned the servant away. The vintners of this time produced some excellent wines. He did not drink, though.
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Old 07-14-2012, 07:33 AM
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Some [?] hungered, looking up at those rumbling, boiling clouds.
Best I can make of this is "Some plans they hungered ...", which is probably not correct.

Quote:
A cluster of frightened servants, sure that tomorrow would bring war between the White Tower and the Dragon Reborn, organized stores within [?] tents shaken by the wind.
I don't think there is any word here, where you put that question mark. Which, if true, simplifies things.

Quote:
1. Rand and Perrin already essentially had this conversation back in LOC.
They could talk about the future, which, at least for Rand, would be a pretty short and depressing subject. So repeating this funny and hope inspiring story from the past seems a rational approach to conversation.

Quote:
2.
It is possible that Moridin has access to resources that are not available on the open market. It may be that the best wine comes from Shara, or Seandar, or the Isle of Madmen. In none of these cases would Rand have any chance of having it brought to him.

It is also possible that Moridin's private stores are not subject to the spoilage that troubles most of the rest of the world.

And finally it is possible that Rand and Moridin do not share the same taste in wine.

So, while this is noteworthy, I wouldn't say that it is necessarily a flaw in the story.
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Old 07-14-2012, 07:38 AM
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Originally Posted by GonzoTheGreat View Post
I don't think there is any word here, where you put that question mark. Which, if true, simplifies things.
The question mark was because I wasn't sure if 'within' was the right word. And as for the other, that's what I heard too, but I didn't put it for obvious reasons.
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Old 07-14-2012, 08:37 AM
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I fixed some more iffy things on punctuation. We kind of did the whole thing at once and it was confusing, so some things got overlooked.

PS—Also in retrospect, the 'talking about things that happened before the last time we talked' thing doesn't bother me like it did when I first listened to it. I think it bothered me because we've been looking forward to Perrin telling Rand about what he's been up to since then, and that might have happened in the prologue (before Rand went to sleep, timeline overlap), but either way it was a little annoying. Very cute, but annoying. Anyway, I'm over it now.

PPS—I have another issue now, though. There was enough of Taren Ferry left in LOC for them to have a Wisdom and a Mayor and all. The impression is that they were recovering like everyone else, if more slowly, partly thanks to the refugees.
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Old 07-14-2012, 09:49 AM
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Do the words read odd to anyone else? Denuded? I imagine RJ would use stripped bare, but even if he would not I could not help but think that the intro was very disjointed. Just a general impression.
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Old 07-14-2012, 09:51 AM
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There were a few odd bits, but overall I think the language in the wind section is really nice. The word 'denuded' seems a little strange, but I imagine 'stripped bare' would be considered somewhat cliche, so maybe Brandon wanted to avoid it.

Also, some disjointedness might be due to transcription punctuation.
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Old 07-14-2012, 09:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Terez View Post
There were a few odd bits, but overall I think the language in the wind section is really nice. The word 'denuded' seems a little strange, but I imagine 'stripped bare' would be considered somewhat cliche, so maybe Brandon wanted to avoid it.

Also, some disjointedness might be due to transcription punctuation.
Fair enough. Thank you for transcribing (along with the others), was a pleasant surprise to wake up to this.
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" 'Looks like the game can be won after all,' [Mat] said. 'Tell the foxes I'm mighty pleased with this key they gave me. Also, you can all go rot in a flaming pit of fire and ashes, you unwashed lumps on a pig's backside. Have a grand bloody day.' "

"Till shade is gone, till water is gone, into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder’s eye on the last Day."
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Old 07-14-2012, 10:09 AM
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No problem. I'm glad I was online, glad Luckers and Deadsy were on to help, and glad Southpaw found it in the first place. I see he found a way to link it (I didn't notice his thread until someone stickied it); he told me on Twitter he couldn't from his phone or something. Took him three tweets to get around to telling me it was on YouTube; I had to pry it out of him.
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Old 07-14-2012, 10:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Terez View Post
The word 'denuded' seems a little strange, ...
Yes, indeed. It seems to me that "renuded" would be a lot more sensible.
The word "denuded" gives the impression that the status of being nude has been undone, which amounts to being clothed.
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Old 07-14-2012, 10:29 AM
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denude
early 15c. (implied in denuded), from M.Fr. dénuder, from L. denudare "to lay bare, strip; uncover, expose," from de- "away" (see de-) + nudare "to strip," from nudus "naked, bare" (see naked). Related: Denuding.
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:33 AM
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I saw the youtube video feed.
Brandon really needs some training in public reading.
Public speaking he's great at, but not public reading.
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:39 AM
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I have a hard time picturing Perrin and Rand calling her Marin.
I thought they still would use Mrs Al'Vere.
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:40 AM
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He started calling adults by first names at some point, I forget where. I remember him being surprised by it.
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:58 AM
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Yeah, maybe it's Rand that I have the issue with saying that.

It was the familiarity way of saying it that didn't fit Rand, but since he didn't say it my point was non-valid.
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Old 07-14-2012, 12:02 PM
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Guys, THANK YOU for posting! what a pleasant surprise!

I loved the fact that Rand was laughing and musing at Perrin. The conversation may have occurred already, but it was a nice funny story that would lighten the mood - and we know that Perrin would know to lighten the mood, so I'm going with that.

The word denuded bothered me more because Brandon messed it up than because it was out of place. I think it would have been easier to get past without the mistake.

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Old 07-14-2012, 12:07 PM
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PPS—I have another issue now, though. There was enough of Taren Ferry left in LOC for them to have a Wisdom and a Mayor and all. The impression is that they were recovering like everyone else, if more slowly, partly thanks to the refugees.
The impression I got was that Taren Ferry was destroyed and Caemlyn wasn't much better. Either they were attacked (most likely), had some sort of natural/manmade disaster (possible, but why), or people torched the place as they left (least likely).
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Old 07-14-2012, 12:10 PM
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The 'long since' seems to refer to its original destruction, and without a clue of a more recent one...
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Old 07-14-2012, 12:40 PM
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It may be that Taren Ferry didn't have many reserves left, and with them being farther away from Perrin's base, what they had spoiled worse. So then they moved closer to the core.

Still, that's quite a bit of speculation backed up by not all that many facts.
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Old 07-14-2012, 12:46 PM
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Did they ever release the rest of the prologue? They didnt tend to release just partial pieces before the first chapter on some of the previous ones...

I had the same problem about the wine Terez. I am excited to see the rest of Rand's PoV finally.
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