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  #1  
Old 01-31-2012, 02:49 PM
eboughey eboughey is offline
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Default Funniest comments from the books

What do you think is the funniest comment in this dark but very humorous at times epic?

Gathering Storm:

Mine is what Mat said to Verin when she found him close to Trustair and asked why he hadn't asked her where she got the pictures of him and Perrin:

"You're Aes Sedai" Matt said "I figured you... saidared it."

Mat says the dangdest things. keeps me smiling almost the whole way through his chapters!
  #2  
Old 01-31-2012, 03:25 PM
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I like what Mat said to the three girls in Tar Valon (TDR)

"One pretty woman means fun at the dance. Two pretty women mean trouble in the house. Three pretty women mean run for the hills."
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  #3  
Old 01-31-2012, 03:31 PM
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Of course, I always liked Lan in New Spring:

"An Aes Sedai, if she really was one, and a Cairhienin? There could be no worse combination."
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Old 01-31-2012, 05:50 PM
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i believe it comes from crossroads of twilight but my favorite quote in the series is
" Maybe Mat being ta'veren had helped, but for enough gold, Valan Luca would help kidnap the Dark One. "
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Old 01-31-2012, 06:53 PM
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I forget where it is, but one of my favorite scenes was when LTT is laughing at Rand when Rand thinks merchants resist change.

I also thought of the Cairhienin/Aes Sedai thing Crispin noted, and the Aiel reaction to Rand's Two Rivers joke ("It must have something to do with the water")
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Old 02-01-2012, 04:06 AM
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I've always liked:
And as for words of wisdom, the first she had heard out of him had been a fervent promise never to throw a rock at anyone again, offered after she had paddled his young backside for it.

and

If you fell head first into a pigsty, you'd try to convince everybody you did it on purpose.

but especially the entire segment when Uno tries not to swear in front of Nynaeve - Oh, I do remember you. The one with the fla- the mouth. Ragan thought you could skin and butcher a blo- bull at ten paces with your tongue. Chaena and Nangu thought fifty.
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Old 02-01-2012, 07:17 AM
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That point when you've reread the series four or five times and you think you're starting to get Aiel humour.

I also like Mat's speech about the boots in TOM. It's great. I think Brandon's Mat is a little different from RJ's Mat, and Brandon's is a little more obviously humorous. Of course, with both authors, Mat is the most entertaining character in the series (so put him with the most boring for a book or two and you're guaranteed mediocrity! ...I'm looking at you, Valan Luca).
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Old 02-01-2012, 07:23 AM
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The boot thing also remembers me of a speech Vimaire gave in Terry Pratchet's Discworld series, and I found it rather nice.
Another one is when Mat tells Joline : "Now that killed the goat" and starts slapping her butt =)
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Old 02-01-2012, 04:14 PM
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"I'm going to keep bloody gambling! Bloody, bloody gambling and drinking! Where's my bloody drink? Anyone want to gamble for it?"
Talmanes, referring to Mat after his marriage to Tuon
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Old 02-01-2012, 04:32 PM
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Mat's letter to Elayne, ToM: Chapter 11
"Your Royal Bloody Pain in my Back, ..."
  #11  
Old 02-01-2012, 05:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lupusdeusest View Post
but especially the entire segment when Uno tries not to swear in front of Nynaeve - Oh, I do remember you. The one with the fla- the mouth. Ragan thought you could skin and butcher a blo- bull at ten paces with your tongue. Chaena and Nangu thought fifty.
The Nynaeve on Rand's Wisdom was awesome. Nynaeve was always one of my favorite characters. But the best part of the Nynaeve/Uno/Raan scene is at the end, when Ragan 'strongly agrees with all the things that were said but sincerely doubted the wisdom in saying them'
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zombie Sammael View Post
That point when you've reread the series four or five times and you think you're starting to get Aiel humour.
I actually truly believe that even RJ didn't fully get Aiel humor.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zombie Sammael View Post
I also like Mat's speech about the boots in TOM. It's great.
Yeggh. Really? I love BS, and am truly thankful for what he has done for WoT. He's a smart guy and a good writer. But his Mat is worse than his Cadsuane. It's like some character out of a saturday morning cartoon. It's so... I don't know. Definitely trying to hard. And caricaturish.

Let's look at examples from this thread:
Sanderson's Mat
Quote:
Originally Posted by eboughey View Post
"You're Aes Sedai" Matt said "I figured you... saidared it."
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1eyedfool View Post
Your Royal Bloody Pain in my Back
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toad View Post
"I'm going to keep bloody gambling! Bloody, bloody gambling and drinking! Where's my bloody drink? Anyone want to gamble for it?"
Talmanes, referring to Mat after his marriage to Tuon
(I realize that last one isn't actually Mat but a caricature of him, what's sad is that there really isn't much of a difference)

Jordan's Mat
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomp View Post
"One pretty woman means fun at the dance. Two pretty women mean trouble in the house. Three pretty women mean run for the hills."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fin View Post
" Maybe Mat being ta'veren had helped, but for enough gold, Valan Luca would help kidnap the Dark One. "

You see? There's no contest.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Crispin's Crispian View Post
Of course, I always liked Lan in New Spring:
"An Aes Sedai, if she really was one, and a Cairhienin? There could be no worse combination."
I thought this one was interesting. I cracked up when I read it too, but I wonder if we would have found it funny if we hadn't read as much of the primary series first. I mean, if someone chose to start with NS (a dumb idea, to my mind), would they get it? I doubt it. There might be some stuff in NS that puts it into context, but I doubt it is enough to really make it a side-splitter alone.
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Last edited by The Unreasoner; 02-01-2012 at 05:58 PM.
  #12  
Old 02-01-2012, 06:11 PM
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I've always thought someone reading the series for the first time should wait to read NS until they've completed the first 3 books at the very least. Like your Aes Sedai-Cairhienin example, there are multiple instances where it would be better to have read the main books first. However, by far the most important reason NEVER to read NS first is because it would absolutely ruin the mood, questions, and suspense in TEotW, when it comes to the "strangers" in Emond's Field. Read NS first and you're fucked.

Hmm, funny comments. Here's a few offhand.

1. Bashere talking about his old insane general and how he chopped down a grove of oaks because they were looking at him. And then proceeded to give the oration.

2. Mat's pov when he runs back to his room the night he escapes Ebou Dar. How he stumbles and shatters a vase and limps as fast as any man ever had. Good, funny imagery there.

3. "...and try not to eat the table." - Thom to Mat

4. "The Light burn me!" - Thom to Mat when he sees Mat opening a firework.
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Old 02-01-2012, 10:41 PM
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I love the scene in Dragon Reborn towards the end when Mat is trying to break into the Stone of Tear. He runs into the Aiel on the roofs and Julian Sandar. He makes the comment (something like) "there are a lot of bloody people on the rooftops tonight".

I literally laughed out loud the last time I read it. So funny.
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Old 02-01-2012, 11:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1eyedfool View Post
Mat's letter to Elayne, ToM: Chapter 11
"Your Royal Bloody Pain in my Back, ..."
Yes I like his letter to Elayne as well.
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Old 02-01-2012, 11:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fdsaf3 View Post
I love the scene in Dragon Reborn towards the end when Mat is trying to break into the Stone of Tear. He runs into the Aiel on the roofs and Julian Sandar. He makes the comment (something like) "there are a lot of bloody people on the rooftops tonight".

I literally laughed out loud the last time I read it. So funny.
and I just laughed out loud just now reading the post.

I truly love this series and I enjoy seeing a bit of lightheartedness throughout. Nynaeve is pretty funny at times and then just annoying at others, but they put the breaks in there at just the right time it seems to me.
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Old 02-01-2012, 11:36 PM
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I forgot in the beginning it was pretty funny how Rand, Mat and Perrin always said that one of the other ones new more about women.
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Old 02-02-2012, 01:54 AM
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ToM Chptr 7

When Byar is talking to Galad about the Two Rivers and Perrin raising an army of farmers. That they shouldn't be dismissed, that some of them are skilled in the staff or the bow.

Quote:
"I am well aware." Galad said flatly

BS may not always be a subtle as RJ in his humour but he still gets 'em in there.
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Old 02-02-2012, 04:10 AM
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I agree that RJ is more subtle with his humor than BS, for the most part.

RJ on the other hand with his subtle humor can sometimes be a bit dry. Either it lands on the side of brilliant with a dialogue that is just right, or it lands on the side with the guy wearing a tweed jacket, thinking he's more funny than he really is
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Old 02-02-2012, 04:36 AM
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Mat's analogy about gambling with women while they use blank dice and see whatever pips they want has me laughing every time I read it.
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Old 02-02-2012, 05:03 AM
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I find it funny when Mat hears the True Source is cleansed and he pats himself to see if he feels different. It's kind of funny on a second level - because I think Mat's response is a good one and none of the other characters seem to take the Cleansing properly seriously like Mat does.

Another humorous (to me) Mat line that I think of often in an ironic sense of humour: "Light, he had heard stories of paving stones attacking people. If a man could not trust the rocks under his feet, what could he trust?" (I live in Christchurch, and we've had about 2000 feelable earthquakes in the past year and a half.)
 


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