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Old 05-02-2012, 07:07 AM
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Wink Loony: Because Zombie told me to.

So. Here's something triggered by a statement my housemate/best mate said (completely unrelated to WoT). I'm building on it, and it DESPERATELY needs quotes and firm evidence.

How about this: What mainland Randlanders interpret as insect-like helmets on the Seanchan were actually bicycle helmets with zip-ties on them to scare away ravens. The Blood shave to show they are unafraid of ravens, a remnant tradition of pre-Luthair days.
When Hawkwing landed on Seandar, he found it occupied by cyclists of all kinds. There were limited carriages. Cyclists were impeded only by the multitude of ravens in the country and city. He and his attendants soon found that their carriages and horses did not fare well on the paths in Seandar, and therefore clashes arose between the cyclists (who must be Darkfriends, to be contrary to the will of the Empire!) and the newcomers. To assist in their battles, the natives' channellers brought in creatures from realms they had been studying (studies covering (ironically) ways to draw the cycles of the elderly). These beasts could not be run down by the carriages or trampled by the horses, could easily defend themselves against sabotaging intruders, and scared the horses upon which the invaders relied so much.
Ultimately, Luthair's forces were successful in turning this new weapon against the cyclists, having learned the creatures' motivators through captured marath'damane. All bicycles were melted down, their metals used for the construction of armory, and the crystal of their lamps reformed into the Crystal Throne as a symbol of the cycling nation's ultimate defeat.
The plague of ravens, however, continued, and soldiers soon adopted (contrary to the initial wishes of their commanders) the native helmets, as their own helms did little against the winged harriers. Eventually, the logic of this was accepted by the Blood and warleaders, and a ravenproof helmet was adopted as standard army attire.
The Blood were given the task of stamping out the ravens - each in their assigned region. One High Lord, when the population of ravens reached a population of about 1 mating pair per 3 marches, declared his success by removing all his protective hair, leaving only a single braid's crest down the centre of his skull. Very swiftly, the Imperial Family declared that status would now be defined by raven population, and ranks shown by the amount of protective hair each lord had.
To symbolise their Empire's defeat of the raven plague, the Family kept their heads cleanshaven, and kept their nails in a fashion resembling the claws of the raven, also taking this victory to be their standard and symbol.
The Tinkers also gained some mysterious visitors from a far away land. These visitors came speaking of a Song - the Song that would make the world whole again, the Song that would make the most rotund female fly. This blended perfectly with the existing mythology of the Tinkers.
The song they seek, of course, is a song once sung at all the great festivals of Seandar. "Bicycle Race" is the song required to set the world back on its green path once more. This is the other reason all Andor's bellfounders have been placed by the Pattern under Mat's command - they are needed to make the bicycle bells for the ultimate performance.
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"Yeah, but obviously the Great Serpent doesn't have an actual corpse which would be of any help in strangling Rand al'Thor; for a start, if there was an actual serpent encircling the world, it would be monumentally huge, and trying to strangle someone with it would lead more to a sort of crushing." - Zombie Sammael

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Last edited by Lupusdeusest; 05-02-2012 at 07:08 AM. Reason: Epic typo spotted
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  #2  
Old 05-02-2012, 09:45 AM
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Not sure if you are trying to be funny or trying to be Felix-esque here?

Either way, you failed. hehehehe
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Old 05-02-2012, 10:57 AM
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Not enough indenting and bullet points.
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Old 05-02-2012, 10:58 AM
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What do you have against cycling?! :-(
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Old 05-02-2012, 06:19 PM
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What do you have against cycling?! :-(
I AM a cyclist My baby has three wheels though.
I'm trying to draw on the continued rivalry in our own Age.

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Originally Posted by SauceyBlueConfetti View Post
Not sure if you are trying to be funny or trying to be Felix-esque here?

Either way, you failed. hehehehe
Awwww

Perhaps I am going slightly nutty from a dearth of Felix, but of course noone can beat the original. This was more an exercise in "what if" - "how far can I push this crazy idea?"

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Not enough indenting and bullet points.
True, that. But give me a break. It was developed as a Facebook status. :P
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"Yeah, but obviously the Great Serpent doesn't have an actual corpse which would be of any help in strangling Rand al'Thor; for a start, if there was an actual serpent encircling the world, it would be monumentally huge, and trying to strangle someone with it would lead more to a sort of crushing." - Zombie Sammael

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Old 05-02-2012, 09:11 PM
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I've never been impeded by a raven while cycling, but I was hissed at by a family of raccoons and followed by a butterfly for nearly a mile.
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Old 05-03-2012, 05:02 AM
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I've never been impeded by a raven while cycling, but I was hissed at by a family of raccoons and followed by a butterfly for nearly a mile.
I think that one was practicing for the destruction of Dragonmount:
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"Mesaana is absent again?" Moridin said instead of answering. "A pity. She should hear what I have to say." Plucking the rat from his shoulder by its tail, he watched the animal wave its legs futilely. Nothing except the rat seemed to exist for him. "Small, apparently unimportant matters can become very important," he murmured. "This rat. Whether Isam succeeds in finding and killing that other vermin, Fain. A word whispered in the wrong ear, or not spoken to the right. A butterfly stirs its wings on a branch, and on the other side of the world a mountain collapses." Suddenly the rat twisted, trying to sink its teeth into his wrist. Casually, he flung the creature away. In midair, there was a burst of flame, something hotter than flame, and the rat was gone. Moridin smiled.
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Old 05-03-2012, 08:11 AM
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We get magpies, swarms and swarms of magpies. During their breeding season, some idiot will always go out without adequate protection, and will get pecked/attacked/blinded/mutilated for their stupidity, then irate relatives will rise up and demand all magpies in their area be culled. It's almost as bad as those who build their house next to a crocodile breeding area, then demand that all the crocs be moved before they attack. Or how each summer holidays, some dickhead will teach their kid to feed the dingoes on one of the islands, then raise a cry for all the dingoes to be culled when their tyke gets mauled.
Ditto shark attacks on idiot surfers, idiot campers getting eaten by crocs despite warning signs etc.
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"Yeah, but obviously the Great Serpent doesn't have an actual corpse which would be of any help in strangling Rand al'Thor; for a start, if there was an actual serpent encircling the world, it would be monumentally huge, and trying to strangle someone with it would lead more to a sort of crushing." - Zombie Sammael

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Old 05-07-2012, 02:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Lupusdeusest View Post
We get magpies, swarms and swarms of magpies. During their breeding season, some idiot will always go out without adequate protection, and will get pecked/attacked/blinded/mutilated for their stupidity, then irate relatives will rise up and demand all magpies in their area be culled. It's almost as bad as those who build their house next to a crocodile breeding area, then demand that all the crocs be moved before they attack. Or how each summer holidays, some dickhead will teach their kid to feed the dingoes on one of the islands, then raise a cry for all the dingoes to be culled when their tyke gets mauled.
Ditto shark attacks on idiot surfers, idiot campers getting eaten by crocs despite warning signs etc.
This guy seems very upset...

I have nothing else to contribute to this thread.
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Old 05-07-2012, 05:48 AM
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Girl.
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Old 05-07-2012, 07:28 AM
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This guy seems very upset...

I have nothing else to contribute to this thread.
*weighs breasts* These don't come from tofu, mate.



It's the idiocy and arrogance of humankind that frustrates me so. You have to respect the land, nowhere more so than in Australia. That means working with it, not expecting it to suddenly up and change for you.

They're currently moving entire colonies of flying foxes because they might give some viruses to horse stables just built nearby. FFS! Move the horses. They've not developed feeding paths over thousands of years.
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"Yeah, but obviously the Great Serpent doesn't have an actual corpse which would be of any help in strangling Rand al'Thor; for a start, if there was an actual serpent encircling the world, it would be monumentally huge, and trying to strangle someone with it would lead more to a sort of crushing." - Zombie Sammael

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Old 05-07-2012, 07:43 AM
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You have to respect the land, nowhere more so than in Australia.
Iceland and Greenland probably top Australia in this regard.

Quote:

They're currently moving entire colonies of flying foxes because they might give some viruses to horse stables just built nearby. FFS! Move the horses. They've not developed feeding paths over thousands of years.
Why not leave both in place, and let nature take its course?

Seriously: it does seem strange that nowhere in the WOT series does anyone mention having trouble with invasive plant species. What's up with that?
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Old 05-07-2012, 07:59 AM
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Iceland and Greenland probably top Australia in this regard.
Too cold for spiders and snakes.
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Old 05-07-2012, 08:26 AM
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Too cold for spiders and snakes.
I don't like Spiders and Snakes
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:33 AM
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lol. Neither does Gonzo which was, of course, my point. Actually, he might not have a problem with snakes. I know he hates spiders, though.
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:43 AM
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This theory is brilliant save for one glaring oversight...

It is the entitlement of cyclists - not the One Power - which drives the wheel of time. Therefore, no mere human force can overcome an army of cyclists. They would simply sue, rewrite traffic codes in such a way that attacking forces could not reach them and then violate the same codes that they write.

Maybe the Creator could overcome an army of cyclists....but he won't intervene.
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:59 AM
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Seriously: it does seem strange that nowhere in the WOT series does anyone mention having trouble with invasive plant species. What's up with that?
Especially with the influx of Seanchan flora and fauna recently...
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Old 05-07-2012, 10:07 AM
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Iceland and Greenland probably top Australia in this regard.


Why not leave both in place, and let nature take its course?

Seriously: it does seem strange that nowhere in the WOT series does anyone mention having trouble with invasive plant species. What's up with that?
Technically not an invasive plant species but the invaders have propogated the use of forkroot to an annoying extreme
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