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Old 10-26-2015, 10:01 PM
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So the weird pets thing got me thinking about some weird people I've met (specifically, one 'sovereign citizen' that's quite a character herself, and she also had a possum).

I'll post later about her, I wrote something on it elsewhere, it's kinda long so I have to double check it before I post it.

But over the past 4 years I've had no fewer than 3 guys offer to blow me (or, in one case, offer me drugs if I let him). Naturally I was always kind of freaked out and flattered at the same time. What always got me though is how fast it came up in a conversation.

I've also found myself talking to Avon salesmen a coiple times, and it's incredible how cult like it is. They kept talking about how they didn't wan't to waste their life in an office, how they'd be able to retire at thirty, and wondering if I wanted to travel. Of course they sort of beat around the bush (they each said they ran their own marketing company), and I actually didn't realize they were trying to recruit me into the pyramid scheme until after I talked to the second one. I probably came across as a horrible mark though: I told them both I'd blow my brains out in boredom if I retired at thirty, warned them not to pay for useless training or literature, and told them the notion of 'residual income', at least in the context they seemed use it, was pretty much a joke being played by the people holding the underlying capital (whoever they might be). Once I figured out who they were though, I had a little fun and the next time I saw them, I warned them if it was 'some scam like Avon' it was a known pyramid scheme, and listed a bunch of warnings and horror stories I had found out. Naturally, I already knew from someone else that it was Avon, and warned each of them while they were talking to their new mark. And my warnings included a bunch of 'red flag' language that was basically their entire pitch (and I politely waited to warn them until after their pitch to the new targets was done). I have to say, my delivery was excellent (very wide eyed and earnest), and these guys were so thoroughly cast in the image of the perfect salesman that they both politely thanked me for the warning in front of their new marks. Quite funny.

But the impetus for this thread is a guy I met today. I was eating lunch and texting (with headphones on), when a sketchy looking guy came up to me and asked if I knew the area. So I pulled my headphones out and said that I did, a bit. He then asked what I did, and I told him. He then asked if I worked in the area (which, if he had listened to my last response, he would have known the answer was no). I started getting a sketchy vibe, then he asked about local churches. I told him where the Catholic one was then offered to google another one if he wanted. At that, he said something about them not being in walking distance (so he already knew the answer?). At this point I figured he was just going to ask for bus fair or something, but then he asked if we could talk. I asked about what, then he got mad and said something like 'Don't piss me off, my mom just died' (which sounded like a lie). I said fine, he could take a seat at the table and we could talk. To which he refused, and asked to go over to a bench. Which wasn't far, but it was more secluded, and it gave me a stronger sketchy vibe. I asked what was wrong with the table, and he said he didn't want to be overheard. We're outdoors, it's loud, and no one is closer than ten feet, so this is clearly bullshit. I point out that no one will overhear us, then he asks why I won't just go to the bench, as if I was the one being unreasonable. I ask what he wants to talk about, and he angrily asks why he needs a specific topic. I decide to compromise and go to a closer bench (without waitng for him to respond), figuring that it's far enough from anyone that he can't legitimately worry about eavesdropping while at the same time being in a spot that everyone can see (and from multiple directions). So he sits next to me, and asks how old I am. I ask what difference it makes, and he snaps that I 'really' needed to stop pissing him off. So I give him a fake age that's close, and he snaps that he's forty two and that I need to respect my elders. At this point I'm furious but he doesn't seem to notice. I remind him that he asked if I knew the area, and once again offer to google directions to somewhere for him. At this, he just says he's leaving.

So wtf was this? He didn't ask for money or directions, we weren't in an area where people frequently buy or sell drugs (and I clearly wasn't interested in talking to him), also neither of us seemed to have any room to store either drugs or a great deal of cash (we were both wearing short sleeve shirts and jeans, though he was carrying a coat). The bench he was pushing for was secluded, but not hidden, someone would have noticed if he started to kill/rob/blow me. Plus there's loads of cops in the area. He didn't seem mentally challenged or mentally ill, just angry (and sketchy as hell). So what the hell was this? Did I just treat some random guy who just lost his mom rudely? Did I narrowly avoid winding up in his freezer? This really unsettled me.
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Old 10-26-2015, 10:55 PM
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The most bizarre part of this story is how long you let it go on.

I don't think its just the New York neuroses talking when I say that that dude is up to no good and you should have either left in a hurry or called the police.

Also, I was tickled pink that the multiple men who have asked you to let them blow you was the throwaway line in this story.
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Old 10-27-2015, 08:20 AM
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You're way too friendly. I would have walked away quickly.
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Old 10-27-2015, 12:20 PM
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I agree with Ozy and Dav- when your spidey senses are going off you need to just get out of the situation. We are raised to not be rude (especially here in Canada) and we end up in more danger than we ever need to be because of that. Give yourself permission to be "rude" and just get the hell out of there next time.

Of course, you don't end up with the cool stories, but you also end up alive
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Old 10-27-2015, 12:28 PM
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I usually mutter something in German when someone sketchy asks for something...I figure most people don't speak German anyway so they'll just assume I'm a foreigner and move on.

Back on your story, he sounds like he was borderline or completely mentally ill and he was scoping out a potential victim. Had you gone to the bench, you might be chopped up into little pieces in a duffel bag right now.

Also, to reiterate, you're way, way too nice. Did you grow up in a rural area or small town?
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Old 10-27-2015, 12:50 PM
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What they said. Listen to your gut - it is very smart about danger. If it is telling you that there is danger, there probably is. Or at least a greater than normal risk. And if its wrong, so what? You don't owe strangers anything - despite what bleeding-heart FB stories might indicate about appearances being deceiving and whatnot.

Please be safe. Politely and respectfully disengage.
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Old 10-27-2015, 02:36 PM
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Hmmm. I've often been described as "overly" friendly. I don't mean that in a creepy way!

I am almost certain I would have been in much the same situation as you. I would have been offering to Google stuff and trying to engage in conversation. It really does sound like you were in quite the danger there Unreasoner.

I do have to ask though- I'm a friendly guy. I like to think I'm not bad looking either. But in 20 years of going out and meeting people and drinking (a lot) I have never once had a guy ask me to blow him or requested to blow me.

How do these situations arise. So, you know, I can run away if it ever comes up...
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Old 10-29-2015, 08:27 AM
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Too nice. Waaaaay too nice.

I tend to avoid eye contact with strangers so mostly avoid situations like that, thankfully. I also work behind a bar so get a totally different type of character, particularly after midnight. Sadly nothing which springs to mind as an entertaining tale tho.
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Old 10-29-2015, 11:34 PM
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Too nice. Also, when your gut is giving you an obvious warning, listen to it. May have been mentally ill, but also may have been looking to take what he could by pulling out a concealed weapon, like a knife or handgun, in order to get what he wanted. Cell phone, credit card, cash, jewellery, whatever.
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Old 11-04-2015, 09:17 PM
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The fact that he was "carrying a coat" drew my attention, actually. I have no clue where you are or what the temperature is, but it sounded to me like the coat might have been useful in concealing a weapon. But like everyone else, I wonder why on Earth you kept dealing with him. The moment he told you you shouldn't piss him off was the moment I would have gotten up and walked away (possibly to the nearest cop, if you could see one).

Losing your mom can be painful, but offers no excuse to accost a complete stranger as ... clumsily ... as he did you.

Are you adorable looking or something? I feel like Ozy - the most head-shaking part of your post is the third paragraph. Which wasn't even relevant to the story.


ETA: In regards to your Avon story - I got entangled in Amway about 30 years ago - same premise. Happily, the only real reason I joined up was so I could buy their products at a Dealer's price. Unhappily, the products weren't really all that terrific, and I spent too much money on crap. Luckily, they aren't nearly as obnoxious about getting you involved as Scientologists. THOSE people my boss finally had to make leave me alone, for which I was profoundly grateful.
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Old 11-05-2015, 02:51 AM
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uh. How old are you? Just so I can picture this better in my head. Any which way, this is so weird. Then again, when I was a kid my mom used to tell me NEVER to talk to strangers, even if they're in uniform - anyone asking pointed questions is likely to get you in trouble somehow, worst case scenario being Siberia or some such like.

Which, in hindsight is pretty funny considering how genuinely interested she is in all sorts of new religions/esoterics. Probaly because religion was forbidden, so now she's bouncing back.

The closest to what you described that ever happened to me personally was last summer: a whole bunch of us were having lunch at a café, sitting in the sun outside, kids (belonging to "the group") playing nearby. Comes this neat-looking guy, with a clip-board and we all think "oh no, he wants to talk about God or politics" and asks, very politely, where the nearest weed-shop is. Only in Amsterdam...
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Old 11-05-2015, 11:21 AM
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Originally Posted by tworiverswoman View Post

Are you adorable looking or something? I feel like Ozy - the most head-shaking part of your post is the third paragraph. Which wasn't even relevant to the story.
Unreasoner doesn't need looks. I've pointed out before he sucks people in with the sexy maths talk.
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Old 11-09-2015, 02:53 AM
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I thought of starting a new thread but then thought the topic is pretty much the same. So, a matter of social etiquette, right:

in the Gym: if I have my headphones on, DO NOT TALK TO ME (unless the building is on fire, I'm on fire or you need to know how long until you can use the equipment I'm currently using). Do not try to hit on me. *shudder*

in the Sauna: The only acceptable interaction between strangers in the sauna is to 1) ask where certain facilities are or 2) ask someone to scoot over a little. If you just met me DO NOT TALK TO ME. Under NO circumstances is it ok to touch me you fuckin perv. No, not even to shake my hand. No, I'm not interested in your dinner plans nor in joining you for dinner. and NO, I will NOT go in the hot tub with you. Yes, I realize the Dutch sauna's are mixed and nude**, yes I know you have seen all of me and you like it apparently enough to go all creepy. But dude, the Dutch mind their own fuckin business and very politely see people only enough not to bump into them. If you like the mixed nude sauna, respect it and everyone else inside it goddamnit.

In general: if you're talking to someone, and they answer in monosyllables and do not ask any follow-up questions about you, take the hint and stop talking. Just because I don't want to be rude and tell you to piss off does not mean I like you and want to keep talking to you.


**because, honestly, who wants to sit in their sweated-through swimwear? That's just disgusting.

ETA: you know, this was the exact kind of thing where people might go "I'm married" - but you know what? My relationship status has nothing at all to do with the fact that you're being inappropriate. My state of clothing has nothing to do with the fact that you're being inappropriate. If I can see you but not talk to you, how about you try the same? If I can see you but not touch you, you can keep your hands to yourself too, ok?
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Old 11-09-2015, 11:04 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yks 6nnetu hing View Post
I thought of starting a new thread but then thought the topic is pretty much the same. So, a matter of social etiquette, right:

in the Gym: if I have my headphones on, DO NOT TALK TO ME (unless the building is on fire, I'm on fire or you need to know how long until you can use the equipment I'm currently using). Do not try to hit on me. *shudder*

in the Sauna: The only acceptable interaction between strangers in the sauna is to 1) ask where certain facilities are or 2) ask someone to scoot over a little. If you just met me DO NOT TALK TO ME. Under NO circumstances is it ok to touch me you fuckin perv. No, not even to shake my hand. No, I'm not interested in your dinner plans nor in joining you for dinner. and NO, I will NOT go in the hot tub with you. Yes, I realize the Dutch sauna's are mixed and nude**, yes I know you have seen all of me and you like it apparently enough to go all creepy. But dude, the Dutch mind their own fuckin business and very politely see people only enough not to bump into them. If you like the mixed nude sauna, respect it and everyone else inside it goddamnit.

In general: if you're talking to someone, and they answer in monosyllables and do not ask any follow-up questions about you, take the hint and stop talking. Just because I don't want to be rude and tell you to piss off does not mean I like you and want to keep talking to you.


**because, honestly, who wants to sit in their sweated-through swimwear? That's just disgusting.

ETA: you know, this was the exact kind of thing where people might go "I'm married" - but you know what? My relationship status has nothing at all to do with the fact that you're being inappropriate. My state of clothing has nothing to do with the fact that you're being inappropriate. If I can see you but not talk to you, how about you try the same? If I can see you but not touch you, you can keep your hands to yourself too, ok?
Holy hell! That sounds so uncomfortable. They actually touch you? Urgh.

We are quite reserved here in ireland. Saunas are bathing suit affairs although they can be mixed. But I would never, or even imagine a scenario, where I would hit on someone in one.

It just seems so....well you said it best: Creepy.
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Old 11-10-2015, 01:51 AM
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Holy hell! That sounds so uncomfortable. They actually touch you? Urgh.

We are quite reserved here in ireland. Saunas are bathing suit affairs although they can be mixed. But I would never, or even imagine a scenario, where I would hit on someone in one.

It just seems so....well you said it best: Creepy.
no, they normally don't. See, the thing's this: my gym is attached to this big spa complex, and my gym membership comes with an hour a day (i.e. an hour about twice a week when I go to the gym) of spa/sauna access. Now, I've been going to this place for maybe a year and this is the first time something like this has happened. Weirdly, or maybe predictably, it wasn't a local who went all creepster, it was a tourist or expat. Because "everyone knows", in Amsterdam, every second female you meet is a hooker or, like, really loose?
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Old 11-10-2015, 04:07 PM
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In Norway it's really simple.

If the person you want to talk to has had more than three beers, go ahead. If not, sit down(but not too close of course), shut up and wait until they've had three or more beers
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Old 11-10-2015, 05:54 PM
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In response to the various questions:

I'm 25, and while I have been called handsome, I haven't been called such by someone I knew wasn't biased. My mom looks a lot like Jennifer Connelly, and I mostly take after her, if that helps. I definitely didn't grow up in a rural area. I'm not particularly nice, but I am polite and curious. Which is why I let that go on so long. I knew something was wrong, but for the life of me couldn't (and can't) say what. He didn't have a weapon. I've lived in places where people sometimes do, and have learned to check. In any case, I was at a Whole Foods in a San Francisco suburb, and would have been shocked if there was any real danger. But I still have no idea what might have been going on.

However, even if he had had a weapon, the sauna story is waaay worse. A guy hitting on a girl in a confined space while blasting her with his vaporized ball sweat? Urgh. I've heard that it's generally correct for a guy to not even get on an elevator if there's a girl alone in it. How much more inappropriate is the sauna pervert? Ick.
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Old 11-11-2015, 07:13 AM
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Daekyras Daekyras is offline
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Originally Posted by yks 6nnetu hing View Post
no, they normally don't. See, the thing's this: my gym is attached to this big spa complex, and my gym membership comes with an hour a day (i.e. an hour about twice a week when I go to the gym) of spa/sauna access. Now, I've been going to this place for maybe a year and this is the first time something like this has happened. Weirdly, or maybe predictably, it wasn't a local who went all creepster, it was a tourist or expat. Because "everyone knows", in Amsterdam, every second female you meet is a hooker or, like, really loose?
Really??

I feel like i wasted my trips to amsterdam now. I was enjoying canals and art and anne frank and all that. Dammit.
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Old 11-11-2015, 07:16 AM
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Originally Posted by The Unreasoner View Post
In response to the various questions:

I'm 25, and while I have been called handsome, I haven't been called such by someone I knew wasn't biased. My mom looks a lot like Jennifer Connelly, and I mostly take after her, if that helps. I definitely didn't grow up in a rural area. I'm not particularly nice, but I am polite and curious. Which is why I let that go on so long. I knew something was wrong, but for the life of me couldn't (and can't) say what. He didn't have a weapon. I've lived in places where people sometimes do, and have learned to check. In any case, I was at a Whole Foods in a San Francisco suburb, and would have been shocked if there was any real danger. But I still have no idea what might have been going on.

However, even if he had had a weapon, the sauna story is waaay worse. A guy hitting on a girl in a confined space while blasting her with his vaporized ball sweat? Urgh. I've heard that it's generally correct for a guy to not even get on an elevator if there's a girl alone in it. How much more inappropriate is the sauna pervert? Ick.
Ok, Tell your mam I said Hi.....HaHa, how childish of me. Sorry TU.

Im not sure about the elevator thing. If you keep your distance and don't try and force small talk I don;t think its that bad. But then, I don't like forcing small talk with men in elevators either.
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Old 11-11-2015, 08:14 AM
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Really??

I feel like i wasted my trips to amsterdam now. I was enjoying canals and art and anne frank and all that. Dammit.
eh. I'm just so goddamn tired of explaining to everyone I meet that just because I happen to live and work in Amsterdam, does not automatically mean that I'm a prostitute. Nor does it mean that I'm high all the time.

I know it's not quite that dramatically bad and not everyone automatically assumes something like this. But still, it happens often enough that I feel the need to print the FAQ on my shirt or something.

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Originally Posted by Daekyras View Post
Im not sure about the elevator thing. If you keep your distance and don't try and force small talk I don;t think its that bad. But then, I don't like forcing small talk with men in elevators either.
agreed. I mean... I think it's been said enough in various social media and here on TL and all but... Honestly, men are just people and women are just people. No matter whether you're a man or a woman, or whether you like women or men, any kind of creepiness toward an unsuspecting victim is just wrong. just don't do it. Has nothing to do with men/women, it's about being a decent human being.

Just because I don't want to be a jerk is no invitation for the guy to "try harder". I mean... which normal person needs to be told to fuck off in those exact words in order to get the point? Clearly, this guy was not normal.

in other news, I may have seriously shocked the poor girl at the reception counter yesterday when I reported the incident.
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