View Full Version : Yankee Squirrel

05-27-2010, 12:21 PM
Minions get into the darndest places...

Squirrelly baseball (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/unleashed/2010/05/squirrel-causes-a-scene-at-yankeestwins-baseball-game-at-target-field.html)

05-27-2010, 05:25 PM
Minions get into the darndest places...

Squirrelly baseball (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/unleashed/2010/05/squirrel-causes-a-scene-at-yankeestwins-baseball-game-at-target-field.html)

I'm surprised the damn thing didn't have a heart attack

05-27-2010, 09:01 PM
Minions get into the darndest places...

Squirrelly baseball (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/unleashed/2010/05/squirrel-causes-a-scene-at-yankeestwins-baseball-game-at-target-field.html)

I had a dream last night. I was walking around my house in my boxers (why not naked? I don't know). I decided I wanted a drink, so I went out to the refrigerator in the garage (which was open), where we keep most of our bottled drinks (water, soda, beer, etc). I walk out there, and the neighbors are walking out to their car -- they work together or something, because they always go to the car together in the mornings. I open the refrigerator door, get my drink, and close the door, and BAM, the woman is walking down my driveway to take out the trash. Why isn't she taking it down her own driveway? I have no idea.

I watch her get down to the end of my driveway, shrug and walk back inside. A moment later I hear a knock on the door, so I walk back to the door, wondering what it is that this woman wants. I open the door, and it's not the woman at all.

It's this super cute brunette, wearing a tie-dyed shirt (blue and purple, if you must know), short denim shorts and sandals. She looked kinda like Zooey Deschanel (but it wasn't her). I'm standing there in my boxers.

"Um, excuse me?" she says.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Have you seen my squirrel?"

"Um... wtf?"

"My squirrel. I'm missing my squirrel, and I can't find him anywhere. Have you seen him?"

"Umm... no..."

Right at that moment, a squirrel fades into view and runs across the kitchen. That's right. He faded into view as if he was some sort of stealth squirrel. A STEALTH SQUIRREL PEOPLE!!!11!!!! He darted down the hallway, and we chased him -- me in my boxers, she in her not-boxers. We turned the corner and he was gone again. Probably laughing at us, secure in his invisible stealthiness.

"I think I hear him in the kitchen," she said before proceeding to bolt back down the hallway to the kitchen. As I ran back to the kitchen, I realized I was still in my boxers and that she might be a little offended.

"Um, sorry about the boxers thing."

"That's okay," she said. "It's cute."

That's when I realized she had really hairy armpits.

05-27-2010, 11:25 PM
As always, Jemaclus, a look into your psyche which is disturbing and completely unlooked for.

05-28-2010, 03:47 AM
That's when I realized she had really hairy armpits.That hair can come off. All it takes is a sharp knife.
Which may be what she was thinking of your boxers too.

05-28-2010, 07:10 AM
what's funny is that <some completely baseless, but high number>% of men will find hairy armpits way more disturbing than a stealth squirrel

05-28-2010, 04:44 PM
It wasn't really the armpits. It was more the everything altogether as presented

06-04-2010, 10:33 PM
More amusement. This is what a high school friend of mine posted as his Facebook update. i almost died trying not to laugh since i read it at work.
Today is National Cheese Day! As we did last year, the Museum is having a Cheese Day Party! We're even having a Do-It-Yourself Grilled Cheese Bar! Full Cheese Ahead!

pops taer
06-05-2010, 05:06 PM
Ya'll shore thet werent thuh 'Missippi Squrl?'

06-05-2010, 11:18 PM
yup. the day the squirrel went berzerk