View Full Version : Suvudu Cage Match

02-15-2011, 03:23 AM
In case you guys aren't aware, we won this last year because the WoT pick was Rand. It's hard to beat Rand. It's a big enough deal than when it was Rand vs. Jamie Lannister, GRRM actually wrote the scene how he thought it should go down. Brandon wrote a little speech that more or less amounted to 'I ain't writing this because then it would be me vs GRRM (!) and everyone will blame me if Rand loses, and OMG RJ WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE BECAUSE THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN SO AWESOME, but here are all the reasons why Rand should win.'

This year (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2011/02/cage-match-2011-its-coming.html) our pick is Perrin:

Martin — Redwall series, Brian Jacques
Logen Ninefingers — First Law trilogy, Joe Abercrombie
Solomon Kane — Solomon Kane stories, Robert E. Howard
Pug — Magician series, Raymond E. Feist
Jon Snow — A Song of Ice and Fire series, George R.R. Martin
Severus Snape — Harry Potter series, JK Rowling
Lestat — Interview With a Vampire, Anne Rice
Quick Ben — Malazan series, Steven Erikson
FitzChivalry — Farseer series, Robin Hobb
Mandorallen — Belgariad series, David Eddings
Vin — Mistborn series, Brandon Sanderson
Beowulf — Beowulf
Thomas Covenant — The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever, Stephen R. Donaldson
Corvis Rebaine — The Conqueror’s Shadow, Ari Marmell
Paul Atreides — Dune series, Frank Herbert
Allanon — Shannara series, Terry Brooks
Druss — Druss series, David Gemmell
Severian — The Book of the New Sun series, Gene Wolfe
Perrin — Wheel of Time series, Robert Jordan
Tasselhoff Burrfoot — Dragonlance series, Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman
Gollum — Lord of the Rings series, JRR Tolkien
Arlen — Demon Cycle series, Peter V. Brett
Zeddicus Zu’l Zorander — Sword of Truth series, Terry Goodkind
Molly Millions — Neuromancer, William Gibson
John Carter — John Carter of Mars stories, Edgar Rice Burroughs
Takeshi Kovacs — Altered Carbon, Richard Morgan
Percy Jackson — Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, Rick Riordan
Alvin Maker — The Tales of Alvin Maker series, Orson Scott Card
Katniss Everdeen — Hunger Games series, Suzanne Collins
Jacob Black — Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer
Eric Northman — Southern Vampire Mysteries series, Charlaine Harris
Tally Youngblood — Uglies series, Scott WesterfeldObviously, I think that many characters on this list would kick Perrin's ass. My pick is Quick Ben. What do you guys think?

02-15-2011, 03:57 AM
Thats an interesting list.

I've never really liked the Suvudu cage match series as they don't compare like for like.

Eg: Warrior vs Mage. Druss vs Quick Ben. In a contest of arms, there is none. Druss wins. Over anyone most likely.

However, Ben would kill him in about 5 seconds.

Meh, it doesn't really matter. Perrin will get pretty far but then so will gollum and jon snow.

My pick is: Pug, for the surprise underdog(though he is practically a god) win!!

02-15-2011, 04:08 AM
Unless Perrin can convince his opponents to take a nap with him mid-fight there's no way he can win (the whole thing, obviously there's a few fights he can win). I don't know enough of the others to predict a winner.

02-15-2011, 04:46 AM
Thats an interesting list.

I've never really liked the Suvudu cage match series as they don't compare like for like.
I understand the dislike, but it's interesting to see how many people vote based on who they actually think would win and how many vote based on their favorite books. I'm obviously going for who I think would win. There was no conflict with Rand, but Perrin is a different story.

02-15-2011, 04:56 AM
Do Gollum and Covenant have their rings, or not?
That'd make a rather big difference, one way or another.

And, in the Unbeliever's case, it probably also matters in which universe the battle is fought.

02-15-2011, 07:29 AM
going with Quick Ben too. he's so sneaky he'll probably have his opponent kill himself

02-15-2011, 11:23 AM
Out of those in the list that I know (less that half) I'd go with Quick Ben too. :)

02-15-2011, 01:04 PM
I like Vin, Arlen and the Bloody Nine to go far. Perrin might have a chance with wolf backup, but you have to be realistic...

02-15-2011, 05:03 PM
Knowing maybe half the list, I'm betting Quick Ben could easily destroy Perrin. That's no contest really. Vin and Jon Snow also could probably win against Perrin.

02-15-2011, 06:33 PM
Well it depends on a lot of things. If Perrin gets to use his big hammer and a loaded wolf (especially if the wolf is Hopper) then no one beats him except Gollum who has the One Ring.

Now if Sam Vimes were on the list there would be absolutely no contest even if he was naked in the snow, but as things are it depends on what each character is allowed to use.

And of course if the fight takes place in Hogwarts, Snape wins by default since everyone else will be in detention and their books lose a hundred points.

02-15-2011, 10:55 PM
From that list, Paul Atreides will beat everyone except Vin just by using precognition to avoid the fights in the first place. Vin will stalemate him until she runs out of Atium.

02-16-2011, 04:32 AM
Then again, if Zed invokes the chicken that is not a chicken, that might scare everyone else off. Except for Gollum, of course, who would just eat it, and then complain that it tasted nearly as bad as Orcs do.

02-16-2011, 05:14 AM
If Zedd breaks out the chicken, then I think magic won't work any more. Which would probably put Zedd at a disadvantage to most opponents. So I doubt he will bother with it.

Zedd will probably go out earlier since no one will be allowed to write scenarios about his fights. Tairy is anti-fanfic.

03-20-2011, 07:12 PM
Quick Ben vs Severus Snape is next week. There have been a lot of Potter fans turning out - roughly it will be about 1000 vs 600 - so we need all the help we can get to make sure Quick Ben wins! I'll post here when the match goes up.

03-20-2011, 08:02 PM
Perrin's only chance is using Tel'aran'rhiod as a cheat. Dream assassination isn't really his style unfortunately.

03-21-2011, 12:12 AM
Mandorallen? Seriously?

i don't even like the Malazan books, and i'd pick Quick Ben.

Though i'd probably pay money to see Tasslehoff vs. a Twilight character.

Crispin's Crispian
03-21-2011, 11:48 AM
Vin's ability to win depends on whether it's Vin from the very end of the series, or Vin at the height of her Mistborn power. I mean...at the end of the series she...well, was basically God, so...not fair.

Don't really know that many others, but I'll take QB FTW. I mean...c'mon.

03-23-2011, 01:17 PM
Quick Ben vs Severus Snape (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2011/03/cage-match-2011-perrin-aybara-versus-martin-the-warrior.html)

Perrin vs Martin the Warrior (http://suvudu.com/2011/03/cage-match-2011-perrin-aybara-versus-martin-the-warrior.html)

Zedd vs Vin (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2011/03/cage-match-2011-zeddicus-zul-zorander-versus-vin.html)

03-23-2011, 05:50 PM
The Quick Ben link, links to Perrin instead. :p

03-23-2011, 06:58 PM
This is going to an interesting semi-finals, assuming Quick Ben and Vin win. And I can't wait to see what Brandon does if it's Perrin vs Vin in the final match.

03-24-2011, 04:45 AM
Quick Ben vs Severus Snape (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2011/03/cage-match-2011-quick-ben-versus-severus-snape.html)

(If you haven't read Malazan...trust me, Quick Ben would win. Vote for him.)

03-24-2011, 03:23 PM
You gotta love Brandon's account of the Zed/Vin fight getting derailed by Zed going off on an anti-communist tirade.


03-25-2011, 08:14 AM
Haven't checked this since the first list was printed.

Firstly, the brackett was RIDICULOUS!

Secondly, poor Druss.

Thirdly, Pug would beat Ben. I love Ben but Pug would win.

Finally- Jon Snow = Great Character but both he and Perrin are out of place in the final 8.

I see what T means about people voting for their favourite books and not for what would be likely.

03-26-2011, 04:29 PM
I think that if we go simply by what powers the characters have in their series/book, then either Pug, Vin, or Zedd would win. That doesn't mean I'd like any of them to be the winner (though I kinda like Pug), I just think they're the most powerful on the list.

On a related note, how do they come up with the people they use in this thing? Seriously, why not make a match that actually matches similarly-powered beings against each other?

03-26-2011, 04:43 PM
Oh, by the way . . . I don't really know how brackets work, so don't know if it's possible they'll end up together, but just from the sheer amount of fanboyism as well as conflict of interest when Sanderson gets involved, I would love to see a Perrin Vs. Vin match. :):eek:

03-28-2011, 01:40 PM
Well, first semi-final is up, Vin vs Jon Snow. And surprisingly, Vin is currently winning by 30 votes.

03-29-2011, 01:15 PM
That write-up made me cringe. What's the point of this if they're going to invent new super-powers on the spot for characters they think are overmatched? They should have just balanced the bracket properly in the first place.

03-30-2011, 01:56 AM
A round-up of the voting trends so far:

First Round Bracket 1 - March 10

Beowulf - 1356 - 66.15%
The Warded Man - 694 - 33.85%

Jon Snow - 4454 - 89.98%
Takeshi Kovacs - 507 - 10.02%

Alvin Maker - 778 - 58.45%
Thomas Covenant - 553 - 41.55%

Molly Millions - 934 - 55.01%
Gollum - 764 - 44.99%

Severian - 665 - 56.4%
John Carter - 514 - 43.6%

Zedd - 1173 - 70.24%
Mandorallen - 497 - 29.76%

Eric Northman - 1612 - 88.23%
Jacob Black - 215 - 11.77%

Vin - 1691 - 72.05%
Logen Ninefingers - 656 - 27.95%

First Round Bracket 2 - March 13

Pug - 1292 - 68.98%
Druss- 581 - 31.02%

Quick Ben - 1190 - 64.71%
Solomon Kane - 649 - 35.29%

Severus Snape - 2025 - 73.8%
Corvis Rebaine - 719 - 26.2%

Lestat - 1350 - 61.39%
Percy Jackson - 849 - 38.61%

Perrin - 2307 - 78.58%
Tasslehoff Burrfoot - 629 - 21.42%

Paul Atreides - 1633 - 58.09%
Allanon - 1178 - 41.94%

Katniss Everdeen - 1108 - 76.63%
Tally Youngblood - 338 - 23.37%

Martin the Warrior - 1724 - 51.79%
FitzChivalry Farseer - 1605 - 48.21%

Second Round Bracket 1 - March 17

Jon Snow - 1427 - 72.88%
Beowulf - 531 - 27.12%

Alvin Maker - 445 - 52.23%
Molly Millions - 407 - 47.77%

Zedd - 787 - 73.97%
Severian - 277 - 26.03%

Vin - 1137 - 79.57%
Eric Northman - 292 - 20.43%

Second Round Bracket 2 - March 20

Quick Ben - 675 - 52.98%
Pug - 599 - 47.02%

Severus Snape - 1062 - 65.76%
Lestat - 553 - 34.24%

Perrin - 1796 - 50.13%
Paul Atreides - 1787 - 49.87%

Martin the Warrior - 788 - 55.07%
Katniss Everdeen - 643 - 44.93%

Quarter-Finals Bracket 1 - March 24

Jon Snow - 1639 - 76.88%
Alvin Maker - 493 - 23.12%

Vin - 3002 - 62.62%
Zedd - 1792 - 37.38%

Quarter-Finals Bracket 2 - March 27

Quick Ben - 2736 - 66.07%
Severus Snape - 1405 - 33.93%

Perrin - 2504 - 73.5%
Martin the Warrior - 903 - 26.5%

Semi-Finals Bracket 1 - March 31 (pending - vote as of now)

Vin - 6845 - 71.8%
Jon Snow - 2689 - 28.2%

Semi-Finals Bracket 2

Quick Ben

As you can see, Jon Snow got close to 5000 votes in the first round, so I thought it reasonable to expect they could drum up the same again in response to Vin's gain earlier today. So I preempted them and tweeted through the WoT Facebook page (which has 22,000 likes and 1500 followers on Twitter). It was 3608 to 2534 before then.

03-30-2011, 11:20 AM
No offense to whoever did that writeup, but it was a pretty piss-poor representation of Vin as a character.

Vin as represented in Mistborn would never do something stupid, flashy, and grandiose like flying Jon across the arena to impale him on his sword. She fights dirty and she fights for the win; she'd just send a coin through his forehead and be done with it. Furthermore, Mistborn in the books, and Vin in particular, are pretty much at home in the air; so how the heck would Vin let herself get caught on the ground fighting a giant wolf when she can fly?

It was a well-written (gramatically) writeup, I'll grant it that, but the basic premises it operated on were extremely flawed. I seriously can't believe he won that writeup, the ASOIAF ones always seem to be biased and blatantly ignorant of actual character power. Remember Rand vs. Jaime from last year?

Glad to see the character that actually should win is winning. I love Jon and ASoIaF, but Jon vs. Vin isn't a fight, it's an execution.

03-30-2011, 11:35 AM
Agreed. I hope it works the same for Quick Ben vs Perrin.

03-30-2011, 01:18 PM
There's also the whole issue of atium (which every Mistborn always carries), which I honestly hadn't even remembered until now. That makes Jon screwed over like what, four different ways?

That just makes me even angrier at the writeup now. Jon gets a power he's not even consciously able to control while Vin is denied any of her useful abilities and acts like an idiot? Puh-leeze. :rolleyes:

They could at least try to be objective.

03-31-2011, 12:15 AM
So....vote for Quick Ben!


03-31-2011, 01:43 AM
And of course for that writeup the clearly stronger character wins with little to no apparent effort. :rolleyes:

Just makes me that much more irritated at them for the Jon Snow one.

Voted for Ben; I like Perrin, but this isn't supposed to be a popularity contest (even if some of the Suvudu writeup writers are apparently trying to turn it into one).
Still seems like Perrin is going to roll him though, which isn't surprising I guess.

But, seriously though, why does the clearly much stronger character stomp face in that writeup but somehow get unbelievably trounced in the Jon vs. Vin one? Is it the same guy doing all of these things?
I mean, I get that it basically comes down to a popularity contest, but you'd think the people running the darn thing would at least try to be objective. Disappointing. :\

I'm also pulling for a Jon/Perrin meetup because I REALLY want to see how they handle Perrin's effect on wolves with Ghost. Gonna be interesting no matter how it plays out. :D

03-31-2011, 04:14 AM
I'm hoping we can push QB into the finals, which would open up the possibility of Perrin vs Jon for third place.

03-31-2011, 08:45 AM
Only way for Perrin to win this is for him to get Egwene to teach him proper Dreamwalking and kill Quick Ben in his sleep, either in Ben's own dream or in TAR.
If you count that possibility, he'd have more chance against Ben than Jon against Vin...

03-31-2011, 08:57 AM
For that, I refer you to a tweet by Luckers (http://twitter.com/#%21/JamesLuckman/status/53116190817656832). 'No one catches Quick Ben in his sleep.' :)

03-31-2011, 09:25 AM
For that, I refer you to a tweet by Luckers (http://twitter.com/#%21/JamesLuckman/status/53116190817656832). 'No one catches Quick Ben in his sleep.' :)

Your link is either broken or blocked here at work...

03-31-2011, 10:08 AM
Probably blocked, since it's Twitter.

03-31-2011, 11:10 AM
Good, Quick Ben made a sweet comeback.

As I said before, horrible brackett and no way Perrin should be in the final 4....until you see the battles he was in. Seriously, Tasslehoff and Martin are comic relief!!!!

Now, having said all that, at least two realistic and quite evenly powered characters will make the final. But Pug is still greater than Ben ;)

03-31-2011, 12:59 PM
I'm hoping we can push QB into the finals, which would open up the possibility of Perrin vs Jon for third place.

It's looking like Jon may actually win now. :rolleyes:

I still really can't believe they'd go with the obvious winner for the Quick Ben v. Perrin matchup but screw up the Vin vs. Jon writeup so badly.

Seriously, do the guys who do these have some kind of fascination with ASoIaF or something? I remember last year Rand lost in the Rand vs. Jaime writeup due to some ridiculous contrivances as well, in order to justify the ASOIAF character not getting instantly one-shotted by magic.

It's kinda irritating when the guys doing the writeups themselves exhibit such blatant bias. Fingers crossed for Jon vs. Perrin, I suppose.

03-31-2011, 01:16 PM
Vin has maintained an 800-vote lead for the last couple of hours. Hopefully she can keep it for another four until the match closes.

03-31-2011, 06:09 PM
For that, I refer you to a tweet by Luckers (http://twitter.com/#%21/JamesLuckman/status/53116190817656832). 'No one catches Quick Ben in his sleep.' :)

At home now, but now, instead of my browser saying it, it's Twitter saying the link is broken...
Maybe you should just quote it?

03-31-2011, 07:25 PM
Glad to see Vin won despite that preposterous write-up! :D

It really is damn irritating that whoever does these writeups seems insistent on foisting ridiculous handicaps on magic users to ensure that the normal humans of ASOIAF can somehow emerge victorious against enemies way out of their league. First Rand and Jaime and now this. :\

Jon vs. Perrin should be able to go either way, I think; of course, knowing the Suvudu writeups I won't be surprised if Perrin somehow has no effect on Ghost and can't call any wolf allies whatsoever and gets murdered effortlessly when Jon shoots a Hadouken at him. :rolleyes:

Marie Curie 7
03-31-2011, 08:57 PM
At home now, but now, instead of my browser saying it, it's Twitter saying the link is broken...
Maybe you should just quote it?

The link is this (http://twitter.com/JamesLuckman/status/53116190817656832). There was an extra bit in the URL that made it not work.

04-01-2011, 05:42 AM
Hmm... I'd have to disagree with that quote. Spoiler for a Malazan book somwhere halfway in the series:
Remember there was an actual fight between Icarium and Quick Ben where Ben was saved by the bell? And he thinks Perrin has a chance? :confused:

04-02-2011, 01:09 PM
At home now, but now, instead of my browser saying it, it's Twitter saying the link is broken...
Maybe you should just quote it?
I did quote it, silly. ;)

If anyone is bored, check out the last several pages of the comments on the match. It's been...fun.

04-03-2011, 08:08 PM
I did quote it, silly. ;) If anyone is bored, check out the last several pages of the comments on the match. It's been...fun.


As a....noticeable....presence on a lot of boards T, how often would you say you've had to deal with crap like that over the years?

I must say you handled it very well. In your position, (snicker:)), i'd have gotten pissed off big time...

04-04-2011, 02:17 AM
Oh, I was pretty pissed. But linking their group on the comments for everyone to see was the perfect revenge. :) And I can honestly say I've never had to deal with anything quite like that. This is a debate forum. When we get pissed at each other we insult each other's intelligence. We don't publicly (or even privately, in my case) contemplate ways we might kill them.

yks 6nnetu hing
04-07-2011, 05:02 AM
*sigh* I've been keeping tabs on this and to my great chagrin, I'm afraid Vin will lose this one.

That's because Sanderson has actual rules and limits to his magic whereas for Erikson it's more fluid. Which is fine, the author decides the characters and if one author's magic system is a swirling vortex of entropy, all the power to him. Sadly though, this means that Quick Ben is the ultimate Deus Ex Machina character who is always able to pull a miraculous save out of his ass. Vin can't. Unless she's in her god-mode in which case the fight would be really unfair the other way around. And Quick Ben might still win with a blank joker trump card that appears along with a fuzzy pink bunny.

I don't like Erikson, can you tell? Character to character though, Quick Ben is more powerful. For really stupid reasons, but he is.

12-10-2011, 08:28 AM
It's that time again. And this time, Moiraine is our champion (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2011/12/cage-match-2012-the-character-list.html).

The list:

• Anasûrimbor Kellhus — R. Scott Bakker
• Anomander Rake — Steven Erikson
• Atticus O'Sullivan — Kevin Hearne
• Aurest — Paula Brandon
• Babcock — Justin Cronin
• Bast — Patrick Rothfuss
• Bram — Lia Habel
• Caine — Matthew Stover
• Carnival — Alan Campbel
l• Chess Putnam — Stacia Kane
• Claire Haskell — David J. Williams
• The Dagda Mor — Terry Brooks
• Darian Frey — Chris Wooding
• Esmerelda "Esme" Weatherwax (Granny Weatherwax) — Terry Pratchett
• Evangeline Stone — Kelly Meding
• Erevis Cale — Paul S. Kemp
• The Escapist — Michael Chabon
• Felix — Ted Kosmatka
• Ferro Maljinn — Joe Abercrombie
• The Fool — Robin Hobb
• Gale Hawthorne — Suzanne Collins
• Gimli — J.R.R. Tolkien
• Gray Mouser — Fritz Lieber
• Greg Mandel — Peter F. Hamilton
• Harry Potter — J.K. Rowling
• Havemercy — Jaida Jones and Dani Bennett
• The Horned King — Lloyd Alexander
• Iorek Byrnison — Philip Pullman
• Jardir — Peter Brett
• Jean Tannen — Scott Lynch
• Jonathan Strange — Susanna Clarke
• Juan "Johnny" Rico — Robert Heinlein
• Julia — Lev Grossman
• Kelsier — Brandon Sanderson
• Kull — Robert E. Howard
• Kylar Stern — Brent Weeks
• Lady Jessica — Frank Herbert
• Mellorin Rebaine — Ari Marmell
• Moiraine Damodred — Robert Jordan
• Morrolan e'Drien — Steven Brust
• Mr. Wednesday — Neil Gaiman
• Napoleon (on a dragon) — Naomi Novik
• Paksenarrion — Elizabeth Moon
• Peter Grant — Ben Aaronovitch
• Rachel Morgan — Kim Harrison
• Randur Estevu — Mark Charan Newton
• Ray Lilly – Harry Connolly
• Raylene Pendle — Cherie Priest
• Revan — Drew Karpyshyn
• Richard Rahl — Terry Goodkind
• Ringil Eskiath — Richard K. Morgan
• Saphira — Chris Paolini
• Seregil — Lynn Flewelling
• Sparhawk — David Eddings
• Stony Mayhall — Daryl Gregory
• Susan Delgado (or Susannah Dean) — Stephen King
• Tarzan — Edgar Rice Burroughs
• Tattoo — China Miéville
• Tomas — Raymond Feist
• Tyrion Lannister — George R.R. Martin
• Waylander — David Gemmell
• The Wicked Witch — Frank Baum
• Y.T. — Neal Stephenson
• Zaphod Beeblebrox — Douglas Adams

12-10-2011, 09:09 AM
Granny Weatherwax will win that one. Though Zaphod might steal the trophy from her.

12-10-2011, 11:17 AM
I know only about 5 or 6 of those...

The Fool and Tyrion Lannister don't stand much of a chance against the magic users, or even the straight melee fighters like Gimli, unless they'd be able to outwit them somehow... :s

ETA: why didn't you start a new thread?

12-10-2011, 08:58 PM
Because the old thread was still there!

Basel Gill
12-12-2011, 05:08 PM
Kelsier and Kylar Stern are cool additions. Not sure of many of the others myself.

If Tyrion had access to the arena or the opposition prior to a match, he'd pull some sort of trick out of his butt.

12-12-2011, 05:37 PM
Rake or Revan

probably have to go with Rake since I'm pretty sure Kurald Galain > the Force.

Lightsaber > Dragnipur though.

add in that Rake has thousands of years of experience and the fact that four random empire players can kill Revan before they even reach max level in Star Wars: The Old Republic.

oh. and he can also turn into a dragon and just burn everyone to crisp.

12-14-2011, 10:04 AM
I appreciate the size of this field.

Tomas from Feist is a good addition but I assume he'll get done over in much the same way Pug was last year.

I would like to think that Sparhawk would win this as he has the perfect mix of martial prowess AND the ability to destroy Gods. In fact, he's one of my favourite uber-characters in fantasy.

Basel Gill
12-14-2011, 05:10 PM
I also thought that Tavi (Gaius Octavian) might be a good addition. Jim Butcher's Codex Alera or the sword dude...what's his name? Araris Valerian (love google)

01-09-2012, 09:17 PM
I just read the write ups by GRRM and BS from the 2010 cage match. GRRM's piece was funny. "His world is called 'Randland' apparently." And he brought up a good point that there are countless worlds, and the rules you thought applied universally probably don't apply once you find yourself in a new situation, blah blah blah.

But come on, Tyrion isn't that clever. And Rand isn't that lame. You don't dodge an attack by jumping through a gateway. Sheesh. When has anyone besides Graendal done that? And she was ESCAPING! But at least Melisandre got balefired. And I didn't even recognize most of Jaime's other helpers. I only recognized Lohengrin from a Wagner opera, and I have no idea how closely related that is to the Klaus character in GRRMs writeup. Who are Jay and Joey, Sharra, the giant turtle (is it from Final Fantasy or something)?

Brandon's writeup was a cop-out. I understand why he wouldn't want to have a writer's battle with GRRM over a character that isn't even his. But he could have at least shown us the flip side of the coin. He just defaulted to GRRM's scenario and did a rather clown-ish plot twist. Coward. Here's how I see the Rand vs. Jaime Lannister fight:

Jaime Lannister arrives in Caemlyn and is promptly eaten by a Trolloc. The End.

Oh, wait. You mean Rand al'Thor and Jaime Lannister are actually supposed to fight? ROTFLMFAO!


This year's bracket has another Erikson character. I've read a lot of comments pointing out how Erikson's characters are all extremely powerful and should have their own tournament. I agree. I mean, who defeats Rake or Icarium or Karsa Orlong? Hell, even Fiddler beats almost everyone with his explosives. Yeah, Erikson's characters are just a bit more potent than what most other authors have come up with so far.

Then there are Robert Jordan characters like Rand, Nynaeve, Moiraine. They have balefire. How do you beat that? I don't see how anyone could.

01-10-2012, 01:33 AM
We've addressed that with the Suvudu folks, suggesting maybe separate matches for the big powerful characters and the more conventional ones, but they like it this way for some reason.

01-10-2012, 04:26 PM
Who do you think is the best swordsman/woman of the ones in the list?
I only know a few of them. Based on that my two favs is Sparhawk and Paksenarrion.

Crispin's Crispian
01-16-2012, 06:47 PM
We've addressed that with the Suvudu folks, suggesting maybe separate matches for the big powerful characters and the more conventional ones, but they like it this way for some reason.

Rake is (barely arguably) the most powerful character in Erikson's books, so if people were already complaining... Good thing he's also awesome.

02-26-2012, 12:10 PM
The brackets are here:


Moiraine vs... Tarzan!

02-26-2012, 01:56 PM
Sparhawk vs. Zaphod Beeblebrox? Whoa...

i think i'll root for The Wicked Witch of the West, just for poops and teehee's.

02-26-2012, 04:15 PM
Sparhawk is a BAMF. I love him.
I wonder if anyone will consider if this is pre-Finland Moiraine or post, 'cause if it's post, she could be toast unless she has her angreal.

If it's pre...one shot balefire to the head.

Maybe she'll decide she wants to switch Ajahs and bond Tarzan and make him guard her back in all her future matches. Though Sparhawk would make an excellent Warder...

yks 6nnetu hing
02-27-2012, 04:17 AM
The brackets are here:


Moiraine vs... Tarzan!

well that sucks.

I mean, Tarzan is immortal for all intents and purposes - the guy is in his 30's from 1920's until the end ow WW II, so obvs he's got some interesting magical stuff going on there. IIRC an African shaman put a spell on him or some such. He takes on dinosaurs and ant-people and rescues creepy damsels from distress...

grr... Tarzan was my 2nd rooting-for-guy, after Moiraine, and the main reason for Moiraine is that she's the only WoT character in this years batch.

02-27-2012, 05:08 AM
Hey, Moiraine could be fairly well described as "creepy damsel in distress". Especially if she's neither pre-Finland nor post-Finland Moiraine, but Finland Moiraine. Then Tarzan can save her, get stuck there himself while tossing her out, and (because he's Tarzan) find his own way back to his natural habitat, the rain forest*.

* Assuming our corporate overlords haven't chopped it down while he was away, at least.

02-27-2012, 08:45 AM
Hey, Moiraine could be fairly well described as "creepy damsel in distress". Especially if she's neither pre-Finland nor post-Finland Moiraine, but Finland Moiraine. Then Tarzan can save her, get stuck there himself while tossing her out, and (because he's Tarzan) find his own way back to his natural habitat, the rain forest*.

* Assuming our corporate overlords haven't chopped it down while he was away, at least.


She could be considered to be a distressing damsel.

02-27-2012, 09:04 AM
She could be considered to be a distressing damsel.
Happily Tarzan does not have the education necessary to appreciate such trifling distinctions.

yks 6nnetu hing
02-27-2012, 09:09 AM
Happily Tarzan does not have the education necessary to appreciate such trifling distinctions.

He does have the natural intelligence though. The guy taught himself to read and write human language based on his dead father's journal!

03-05-2012, 10:53 AM
Moiraine vs Tarzan (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/03/cage-match-2012-round-1-moiraine-damodred-versus-tarzan.html)

Kelsier vs Someone (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/03/cage-match-2012-round-1-kelsier-versus-gale-hawthorne.html)

Tyrion vs Someone (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/03/cage-match-2012-round-1-morrolan-edrien-versus-tyrion-lannister.html)

Rake vs Someone (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/03/cage-match-2012-round-1-anomander-rake-versus-mellorin-rebaine.html)

Zaphod Beeblebrox vs Sparhawk (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/03/cage-match-2012-round-1-sparhawk-versus-zaphod-beebelbrox.html)

Mr. Wednesday vs Someone (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/03/cage-match-2012-round-1-mr-wednesday-versus-the-escapist.html)

Granny Weatherwax vs Someone (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/03/cage-match-2012-round-1-granny-weatherwax-versus-bram.html)

Harry Potter vs Someone (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/03/cage-match-2012-round-1-harry-potter-versus-the-horned-king.html)

Gimli vs Someone (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/03/cage-match-2012-round-1-gimli-versus-kylar-stern.html)

Wicked Witch of the West vs Someone (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/03/cage-match-2012-round-1-the-wicked-witch-of-the-west-versus-peter-grant.html)

There are others, but I don't feel like linking all of them. You have to page through them.

03-05-2012, 12:42 PM
Soldier’s first rule ...

03-05-2012, 01:08 PM
To save time, I googled it. I have to admit, I voted for Richard. I want to see him get his ass kicked by someone else.

03-08-2012, 08:28 AM
I like Tyrion's special attack.

'Crossbow bolt to the crotch'

03-08-2012, 04:08 PM
Voted for:

Saphira - the write up is bad even by suvudu standards. I don't know the Tattoo and I'm not sure if I should trust how it is portrayed here, but Saphira is a bloody dragon with wildcard magic end of story.

Moiraine - Even though she is one of my favourite characters I'm not going to vote for her unless I think she would win. I will never vote for the other one (unless it's Granny Weatherwax), but that's as far as fandom goes for me in this. In this fight however there is no doubt.

Morrolan e'Drien - I'm voting against Tyrion just because I'm curious to see how the suvudu people would react if the ASOIAF character kicked the bucket early on. I mean it happens in the books pretty much constantly. I don't know Morrolan but he sounds pretty cool and the info they give makes me think that he should win, but I would vote against Tyrion even if his opponent was an American politician.

The Fool - It's been ages since I read Hobb, but I remember the Fool quite well. Not sure if he'd win by himself but if Fitz is allowed to be his secret weapon (which would actually fit quite well) then sure. Granny gets my vote in the next one anyway, but I think Granny vs. Fool would be an interesting match.

Granny Weatherwax - All it takes is for Granny to realise that this isn't the Discworld and it doesn't matter if she makes a hole into Dungeon Dimensions. Honestly even the DO would be scared of those Things. Hmmmm... maybe Moiraine should employ the tactic of breaking the last Seals in suvudu world so the DO is released there instead.

Harry Potter - Because it's Harry Potter. Even if the write up is bad.

Gimli - The. Worst. Write up. Ever. Honestly this person has never even seen the books much less read them. I'm not even sure he/she has seen the movies. Gimli is not hot-headed. In the movies Legolas and Gimli have practically switched personalities which I would consider a monstrous crime if the other atrocities committed by the movies didn't cast a deep black shadow over it. But I must not let myself get on a rant or this post will triple in length. But honestly if he has to speak modern English at least make it British instead of American. *sigh*

The other ones Naz doesn't know and/or doesn't care.

Would like the final four to be Saphira (though I don't really insist on this one), Moiraine, Granny and Gimli (but if it's Harry instead I won't mind that much)

The final match Moiraine vs. Granny

And Granny as the Champion

03-14-2012, 05:50 PM
Round 2:

Saphira is still a bloody dragon, though it looks like people don't think that's enough by itself. What is the world coming to?

Moiraine is apparently allowed to use balefire. I was bit iffy on it working on a demon but what the hell. (no pun intended)

Ray Lilly. I'm still voting against Tyrion just to see the Suvudu reaction on his fall. AND RAY IS ONLY ONE VOTE BEHIND AS OF MY VOTE!

Granny Weatherwax. So they aren't even going to write the Granny vs. Fool fight. Got to admit that I don't know how that would go either only that Granny would win.

Harry Potter. Brent. Weeks. Needs. To. Die. Drowning. In. His. Own. Vomit. Which. Is. On. Fire.

03-14-2012, 06:51 PM
I voted for Harry.

03-18-2012, 01:38 AM
I voted for Harry.

Harry got his ass handed to him: Harry Potter versus Kylar Stern: 774 to 2,467 (76.12%)

03-18-2012, 02:14 AM
Yes, I noticed. I had several people try to convince me to vote for this Kylar person, but I happen to like Harry, so...

03-18-2012, 06:49 AM
Kylar just happens to have this thingy that absorbs all magic and turn him invisible. All he'd need to do was walk up to Harry and cut his throat...

03-18-2012, 07:20 AM
Which, if he'd known about it, Harry could have easily defended against.

Make a ring of magic fluff around you. Build it up out of parts, and do it so that if one part disappears, it tinkles. This gives you a directional warning. Then when Kylar strolls through that ring, confident he can't be seen and won't be hurt by it, fire your machine gun in that general direction.

Harry does have the advantage of being Muggle trained, after all.

03-26-2012, 05:54 AM
Just so you guys know, Moiraine vs Kelsier goes up today, and Brandon wrote it. That will also go up today, of course.

03-26-2012, 09:15 AM

03-26-2012, 09:29 AM
Abyss did a nice write-up for Rake vs Zaphod (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/03/cage-match-2012-round-4-anomander-rake-versus-zaphod-beeblebrox.html) as well.

03-26-2012, 10:12 AM
“We could always stage a revolt,” Kelsier said. “Hunt down the people who did this to us. I have it on good authority that they’re all just a bunch of scribes.”


04-02-2012, 11:05 AM
Moiraine Damodred vs Anomander Rake (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/04/cage-match-round-5-anomander-rake-versus-moiraine-damodred.html)
Kylar Stern vs Granny Weatherwax (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/04/cage-match-round-5-granny-weatherwax-versus-kylar-stern.html)

04-02-2012, 04:40 PM
I highly recommend Illy's Moiraine vs Rake write-up (http://sf-fantasy.suvudu.com/2012/04/cage-match-round-5-anomander-rake-versus-moiraine-damodred.html/comment-page-1#comment-48435). It's hilarious. Abyss did the official one.

04-14-2012, 09:41 PM
Sanderson's write-up was pretty phenomenal.