View Full Version : I'm sad

07-28-2008, 11:25 AM
So, I'm staying at my dad's for the summer. When dad married my stepmom 15 years ago, he got three stepdaughters and a dog in the bargain. Said dog's name is Sweetie. She's 17 years old.

Now, I don't like dogs at all. They smell funny, and they drool, and all sorts of other stuff that I don't care for. This dog in particular has been a PITA for the last several years, much of which time I've lived in this house. She's blind and deaf and she has no bladder control. She freaks out in thunderstorms and has to be babysat or else she'll scratch on your door endlessly until you come out to keep her company. Inviting her into my room would be a bad idea in such a situation because she'd pee on my floor. Fortunately there's no carpet in the house, because she pees on the floor several times a day. Whenever dad and stepmom go out of town, she poops on the floor, and not because I don't let her outside whenever she scratches at the door - she just freaks out when they're gone for too long.

So, I don't care much for this dog. But stepmom has decided to put her to sleep today. I was just informed of this yesterday. And now every time I see the dog I just want to cry. I'm barely holding tears back right now, just thinking about it.

I mean...the dog is a PITA...but she's OLD. Surely she won't live much longer anyway. She's got some arthritis pains, and some breathing issues, but I don't think she's really suffering THAT much. Can't they just let her live till she croaks?

But I don't have a say in it, so here I sit, fighting back tears over a dog that I don't even really have a personal attachment to. She's not my pet. But it's sad that they're going to kill her. :(

07-28-2008, 11:43 AM
Terez: You dad and stepmom know this dog. They see her every day, while from your story you only see this dog when you are staying at their place. They know if she has too much pain to have a good life.

I am sure they also talked to the vet. If a dog is blind and deaf and suffering lots of other ailments, than sometimes it's better to put the dog down, so it doesn't live in pain.

And obviously you do care about the dog, otherwise you shouldn't be upset by it.

07-28-2008, 11:57 AM
Terez: You dad and stepmom know this dog. They see her every day, while from your story you only see this dog when you are staying at their place. They know if she has too much pain to have a good life. Well, the thing is, my dad and my stepmom disagree on this. Dad doesn't think she's suffering, stepmom thinks she is. It was stepmom's decision to put her down (which she has been pushing for, for a long time now), and I can't help but think that the inconvenience of cleaning up after the dog (which we all do) has something to do with her insistence that the dog is suffering. The last I heard of the vet's opinion (which was about a month or two ago) was that she wasn't really suffering all that much, other than not knowing where she is most of the time. If I could really convince myself that she's suffering, then I might not be upset about it.

And I'm not trying to pit evil stepmom against good guy dad, either. There are many times when I think my dad has the wrong idea about something but stepmom has the right of it. This just isn't one of those times...oh, well. There's nothing I can do about it. :(

And obviously you do care about the dog, otherwise you shouldn't be upset by it. Well, I don't like dogs, and she's never been my pet, but she's like a member of the household. I'm a bit surprised at the fact that it's got me upset, obviously. I have to meet with one of my profs in a few hours, and that's when they're taking her to the vet. So I'm sad because I know she'll be dead by the time I get home. :(

07-28-2008, 01:19 PM
Well the deed is likely done by now, so I'm sorry for your loss. It's so hard to say goodbye to what really is a member of your family. It's a fine line with pets sometimes, I'll the first to admit. There comes a point with some people where you have to weigh the cost-benefit of the whole relationship with a sick/ old/ inconvenient pet. It's a sad truth.

Our ten month old kitten just came home from a 10 day stay at the vet for an unidentified fever that ended up costing us over $1000. Just like that *snaps* our NYC vacation became the stuff of dreams (again), but there was NO question for us of what our priority was there.

So, yeah. Sorry.

07-28-2008, 01:44 PM
Dear Terez, do not attempt to analyze your empathy for the impact of the loss of a pet on your folks. I find it admirable that you have such a feeling for the situation that flies in the face of your dislike for the animal.

I more than suspect that you have had similar episodes in your own experience about the loss of a pet. Most people in this country have. The best thing to do is continue to empathise and just go with the flow. Your dad and step-mom will know how you feel and be warmed by it as the days go by.

You could in the future consider a gift of a kitten to the household and solve a whole host of issues. It is possible that the independence of such a pet would be useful for their later years, as well.

I have put down a number of pets over the years and it has never been easy.

Purple Dragon
07-28-2008, 03:01 PM
so... Terez...
why exactly is it that when you make posts like this, the rest of TL is supposed/ able to feel sorry for you, when more than likely, anyone else posting about the loss of a pet would getting nothing but scorn from you?

i find that you posting this makes you seem like an insincere hypocrite.

did you ever give anymore thought to my suggestions about finding some NON-computer related hobbies? is there no other people in real life that you can share this with that will at least pretend to care more than what you should recieve here if there's any justice.

except i realise that most other TL'ers have enough heart to be able to feel compasion where neither you, nor i can.

Zaela Sedai
07-28-2008, 03:03 PM
Awww T has a soft side :)

I'd be upset too if the dog really wasn't in pain and was just old.

07-28-2008, 03:18 PM
Terez, I'm sorry that you hurt. You know how I felt when I had to put down my cat a few months back. So you know I sympathize.

It's really hard to make the choice to put down an animal that's part of your family. I agree that the disagreeableness of cleaning up after an incontinent dog contributed to the decision.

I had a 12-year-old dog some years back that I finally had to have put to sleep when I had to go get a blanket so I could drag him back to the house after he collapsed during a walk. He wasn't visibly in pain -- he just couldn't get to his feet again. I had been cleaning up my living room rug for a few months preceding this point, so I knew it was coming. It still broke me down.


07-28-2008, 04:24 PM
~~~hugs Terez~~~ Pfff- I never doubted Terez has a soft side. :)

~~~hugs PD too~~~ (You must be in need of a hug to be that grouchy ;))

07-28-2008, 06:09 PM
PD... I'm starting to get a little annoyed of your Terez-bashing. I have no clue what the beef is about and I frankly don't care, neither am I taking sides.

It's just that the few times you post nowadays (at least on the forums I visit) it is often about bashing Terez in some way.
We get it, you don't like her. Don't you think it's time to stop it now? It became ridiculous long ago.

07-28-2008, 06:18 PM
Sorry Terez.

07-28-2008, 07:04 PM
I'm so sorry, Terez. I remember we had to dig a grave for my old dog while she was on the lawn watching :( it's rough having them around the house, knowing they won't be there much longer. You just gotta hope it was the best decision...

jason wolfbrother
07-28-2008, 08:36 PM
Sorry to hear about your dog Terez. I know the feeling, although she really was my dog. ~begins ramble~ (if you don't feel like reading it I won't be offended)

I was scared shitless of any and all dogs when I was child. If a chihuahua was being walked 1/2 a block away I would freak and run inside or behind my mom's legs. Yes it was that bad. My dad has always been a big dog person. He's had dogs almost continuously since he was an adult. However, he hadn't gotten a puppy or dog since before I was born so I'd never been around one long enough to overcome my fear. So dad did something. He bought a 1/2 german shepherd, 1/2 doberman puppy and brought her home. I met her in the car when my mom picked me up from school. It was kindergarten ;). I get in the car and all I see is a little tiny muzzle sticking out from under the front seat :) :cool:. Hell yeah I freaked. hehe. Fortunately for all involved I did overcome my fear, mainly due to Queen of Sheba, or Sheba as we called her. I grew up with her at my side. Dad trained her and yeah she was really his dog, but as he told me, the major reason he got her was for me. And I'm still thankful to this day. In her older years, about the time I was getting my AS degree at the junior college, she started getting arthritis really really bad in her hips. It got so bad that she couldn't even get up from her right side at times. Dad had to flip her over to her left side for her to get to her feet. She finally passed away in her sleep at the ripe age of 14 in human years. And my dad still hasn't gotten another dog.

~ends ramble~

You have my deepest sympathy Terez.

07-28-2008, 08:38 PM
I was scared shitless of any and all dogs when I was child.

And you call yourself a wolfbrother... tsk tsk.

jason wolfbrother
07-28-2008, 09:28 PM
And you call yourself a wolfbrother... tsk tsk.

like I said I got over it.


:cool: :cool: :cool: ;)

07-28-2008, 11:33 PM
Thanks for all the happy thoughts, guys. I'm still sort of trying to pretend it didn't happen. I was at school when they went to the vet and all, and I'm sure they had a little burial service but I missed it, and no one would have invited me anyway cause as far as they know I don't give a shit about the dog, and I wasn't about to tell them that I had developed a last-minute attachment to her. That's sort of embarrassing. :')

Crispin's Crispian
07-29-2008, 10:33 AM
...and I wasn't about to tell them that I had developed a last-minute attachment to her. That's sort of embarrassing. :')
Tell them. You won't regret, I think.

07-29-2008, 11:40 AM
Losing a member of the family is always hard...especially the 4 legged variety. :(

Its been almost 2 years and I still miss my rottie.:(